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Thread: Lack of interest..they like me...show interest..they stop??

  1. #1
    Ecko30's Avatar
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    Default Lack of interest..they like me...show interest..they stop??

    Hey guys so I've been working on my inner game..being comfortable with who I am.

    What Ive noticed tho which is contradictory and I can't understand it...is this:

    1) I'm trying to master the art of indifference. I find when I act like I dont care when I'm talking with girls...the girls seem to want me more...which makes me feel awesome...BUT when I start responding (invite them out or tell them we should chill) they dont respond back (with texts) or the same girl that was yearning for my attention, the "spark" is now gone.

    My question is: How do you put these two together? As PUA's were suppose to HUNT and be cocky and flirt etc..but I find I SEE and FEEL girls wanting me more when I act Indifferent and am laid back. What the hell should I do? Does this make sense?
    "I came, I saw, I conquered"- Julius Ceasar

  2. #2
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    Dizzie is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lack of interest..they like me...show interest..they stop??

    Inner game is a large piece of the puzzle so it's great that you are not neglecting it.

    A few things to consider:

    1. Women love a challenge. When a guy is too available and predictable, they will get bored. It drives them nuts when guys don't text them back right away or make plans without them. They will work to get a guys attention.

    2. You really don't know where you stand with a girl until you have physically escalated to the point where plausible deniability is no longer an option for her (Kissing and anything beyond). It doesn't matter how often you talk to her or what she tells you, unless you are fooling around with her, she can backwards rationalize you as just a friend.

    3. Attractive women have a plethora a men at their disposal. In today's rapidly evolving social culture, women are having access to more male options each day. For example, my female friends have a constant flow of guys blowing up their phones or messaging them on Tinder or Facebook. This is on top of needy ex-boyfriends as well. For an attractive girl, giving out her number is not a big deal. They give it out regularly. That's why it's important that when you text them, you stand out from the 20 other guys that messaged her that day.

    4. Women want to be desired by a powerful man. In other words they want to be desired by a confident man with equal or higher status than her. In the long run, no technique is going compensate for this. If a girl flakes on you, would she have done the same thing if the date was with Brad Pitt? Probably not. Status and value are a whole different topic which I am not going to get into. Essentially confidence is just congruence for status and wealth. Women will subconsciously assume a confident guy must have status, be successful in his endeavours, AND have other women competing for him. Everything you say and do is a chance for her to peek in your life. Girls that flake usually do so because the guy's perceived value wasn't high enough.

    Bottom line: being indifferent is not enough. The more you approach, the more this stuff will come natural. I recommend adopting a highly social lifestyle and hanging around other guys that are good with women. Watch how they act and listen to what they say and how they say it.

    -Dizzie

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Lack of interest..they like me...show interest..they stop??

    Being indifferent in a society that doesn't give a four letter word doesn't really give you an edge at all. It plays too much into being the same as everyone else. Thusly at first appears very alpha but quickly loses its luster and affects.

    Indifference is only conformity which is rather beta. Learn your strong points and exploit them an your success will be greater than faking indifference or conforming to modern social values of our I don't care society.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  4. #4
    Ecko30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lack of interest..they like me...show interest..they stop??

    So when you say indifference is rather beta and is not enough...should I adopt the "I don't give a f*ck attitude" instead?

    I respect both your guys comments and appreciate your feedback. However, I'm more of the "bad boy" persona I guess from what I see and looking to perfect it. Indifference/not getting attached is the #1 characteristic from what Ive seen...when you said indifferenc is conforminty tho, you struck a cord with me...to be the "bad boy" this day and age, it's more of "I dont give a f*ck" attitude.
    "I came, I saw, I conquered"- Julius Ceasar

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Lack of interest..they like me...show interest..they stop??

    You can adapt better strategies to the "bad boy"persona, however, playing indifference all the time kills any attraction. It is very predictable and risks coming across as having shallow character.

    Alone it will not serve any long term results and limited short term success. incorporating it into a push pull routine will yield much more desirable results.

    In pick up you need to keep them guessing. The reason any perceive it to work better all boils down to cat string theory. Just on the flip side of what you will find on here.

    Give too much attention or try attracting too hard you loose, not paying any attention or appearing to care again you loose. Cat walks up to people that pay them the least attention, but when they do they bolt right away. So in short they may be initially intrigued but then they will more easily dismiss you right away too. This compounded by people living in a throw away or indifferent society makes using indifference as a primary style a disadvantage. Not saying it is impossible to execute it as such just saying it isn't in the least bit efficient. It is like using a dump truck to pick up a bag of potting soil.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  6. #6
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Lack of interest..they like me...show interest..they stop??

    So where is the middle ground between being indifferent and showing too much attraction? This is an issue which I've been trying to overcome myself for a while.

    How much affection can you show a girl? How much indifference is appropriate? I'm struggling to discover the line after which you show your interest too much, because I've stepped across it accidentally myself >_>

    Even after you are consistently dating & and beyond (a long-term relationship), do you still have to follow the cat and the string principle?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Lack of interest..they like me...show interest..they stop??

    Quantity is not nessasarily the issue it is a contributing factor. Alternating between the push and pull and frequency of dong so that is the real determining factor rapid alternation on smaller scales is the best way to maintain attraction it keeps your intentions a mystery. The less you alternate between the two the more your actions will cross that line of too much. If you are always pulling you look clingy. If you are always indifferent or pushing you look like a jerk.

    If you are alternating between the two on small scale you are fun, mysterious, and exciting.

    It is a balancing act where less is more, so long as you keep alternating between the push and pull.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Lack of interest..they like me...show interest..they stop??

    Indifference is not what you're after. It's push/pull. That's what "bad boys" are masters of. They make girls feel excitement, they're fun, they're spontaneous, they flirt and come on STRONG with girl, then they disappear. They never fully commit to the girl, or let her know how he really feels, or his intentions. This drives girls crazy.

    A.K.A. They are naturally MASTERS AT PUSH/PULL Dynamics, and not you're basic pushover nice guy.

    They keep girls guessing, keep girls trying to win them over, by playing with their emotions because they never fully commit.

    They make girls constantly feel like they're losing him. So they try harder. They sub-communicate that they're 2 steps out the door at any time, and this makes girls feel extremely insecure, and hold on tighter, come on stronger.

    The hard part of acting like the "bad boy" is it's not effective for LTR, and you have to actually be willing to walk away at a moments notice, regardless of how you feel about the girl. It's the ultimate push effect.

    Ever notice how when you push people away, they try harder to keep you around? This is it.

    It's a fine line you need to play with though like the previous poster said. If you're trying to master push/pull read Xavier's thread on it in the forums. It's hard to put into words, but it has a lot with disqualifers on a girl, heavy kino, and your own body language.

    Example from my head...

    "Your ass is so sexy. It's too bad you're not a few inches taller or i'd totally make you my new girlfriend. We could totally climb tree's and build sand castles together. My mom definitely wouldn't approve of you though. (then you smack her ass, or CLEARLY check it out, and act like you don't care about her and show negative body language.)"

    Her emotions will run wild, and she'll either agree with your disqualifier in a defeated way, or try to qualify herself instantly.

    If she acts like she doesn't care, or it didn't bother her, then she's not interested.


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