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  • 1 Post By aussiearef

Thread: Setting up the date....did I do it wrong?

  1. #1
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Setting up the date....did I do it wrong?

    So I spent a night with this girl cuddling & stuff (no k-close, because I'm a scrub); after which we hadn't seen each other in around 4 days, though we did message each other a bit in the interim.

    The next time I saw her, I invited her on a date 2 days later; she said she was unavailable that day, but she could go the very next day (the day before my original plan). I told her I was unavailable that day, and she told me that she had various events for the rest of the week and couldn't go out.

    I was a little disappointed, but I didn't let it show, and responded "No problem, we'll figure something out. Let me know when you're free to hang out." Was this a mistake? Should I not have given her the 'power' to respond back to me at her leisure?

    I quickly realized that this might've been a fatal error (and that by saying this I might've come off as needy and not having anything to do with my time but wait for her), and backed off my interaction with her during the week that she's busy. We're now coming up on the end of that week.

    Did I mess up by telling her to ask me to go out? If so, what should I have done differently? What do I do if she forgets about the date/doesn't get back to me? After I told her to get back to me whenever, she hasn't messaged me since (dunno if this is relevant though).

    Any help/advice is much appreciated y'all. Looking to improve my dating game :|

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Setting up the date....did I do it wrong?

    Scheduling is what it is. Lay low for now. Being pushy or clingy is the worst so far you are doing alright at not overstepping that.

    Let me know when you are free part not digging that, but it isn't the worst I have encountered either.

    After week of said plans find something fun going on in your area, an event of some kind, state that you are going to the event, at whatever time and day, it sounds like fun and you would like her to join you.

    As a statement that you are doing something fun you do not come across as boring. Intend on going anyway regardless of her accepting or declining this will take the edge off any possible rejection and if it is no go you can sarge the event anyway. And last positive of doing that you are telling her you want her to enjoy the event with you, but you do not NEED her in order to have a good time.

    Do not worry about her forgetting your previous interaction. This will only stress you out and isn't even relevant to your goal of getting another date.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  3. #3
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Setting up the date....did I do it wrong?

    So she's just gotten off of her busy week (since yesterday), and I haven't heard back from her.

    I'm wondering how I should proceed now - should I continue to not contact her until she contacts me (to tell me when she's free)? Or do I wait a couple more days and then try to set up another date?

    I have a couple thoughts myself, 1. She still hasn't messaged me by this point, so I doubt that she will period; and 2. Will I come off as too needy for her attention/approval if I ask her again after I told her a week ago to contact me when she's available (BAD MOVE, I know >_>)?

    Maybe things have gone wrong with this girl and I should move on, is another possibility I'm considering. But I'm still interested in her and want to see if I can salvage the situation - any thoughts guys?

  4. #4
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Setting up the date....did I do it wrong?

    Hey dude,

    I don't think you have done anything wrong, except for the part that you left arranging the date to her. Girls almost never arrange a date for guys! Plus, in many cases "let me know when you are free" conveys the message that "forget it, I am not gonna bother asking you out again".
    The good thing is that you are aware of controlling your frame and not letting her think you are needy or clingy.

    I would say contact her again and say something like "I am going to blah blah, I think you should join me. I can come and pick you up at xx:yy pm. Does that suit you".

    As you see everything in this template is just a suggestion and not a question. Always include "does it suit you" or "does it sound good" to get a confirmation and stop her from flaking.


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