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  1. #1
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default What to do in relationships where you feel you''ve lost your power?

    So an issue I've been dealing with is after getting to know a girl for a while, establishing kino escalation, etc., I often start to simply show too much affection.

    That is, I reveal my interest in her too much, and she realizes it. After this point, as David Deangelo says in his book, you've lost your control. The girl acts however she wants, she doesn't call/respond to you much (if at all), she can be flaky, etc., because she knows you're no longer a challenge and she doesn't have to work for your attention. In some way or another, she realizes her social value is higher than mine, and gets turned off by my demeanor and actions.

    His primary advice is to avoid this before it happens at all, which is of course ideal; but I've made this mistake with a girl I'm interested in, and am wondering if there's a way to pull things back together. Is it simply an issue of staying out of contact with her for a while?

    Is there a way to recover from this position?

  2. #2
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What to do in relationships where you feel you''ve lost your power?

    Yes going no contact will help immensely. Eventually, she will wonder why you aren't around. If you have built any attraction at all of course. When she does finally text you, you can tease her but not in a way that would seem emotional.

    The most important aspect of this is to game other women. This way, you don't worry if she will text you back and also you will be having fun instead of waiting on her.

    Many threads on here about oneitis that have similar appropriate advice to your situation. Also, in theory getting your ex back type advice is very good.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  3. #3
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to do in relationships where you feel you''ve lost your power?

    Josh Pellicer in his book Tao of Badass wrote, "Whoever loves less in a relationship has the control."

    I live by those words no matter how hot the HB is. As Lockdown wote just freeze her out and go game other females. Whenever you do any activity with other females make sure you take lots of pics. Post them up on facebook if you have an account or show them to your friends. Soon word will get back to her that you're hanging with other chicks. It increases your social value and this girl will begin to re-engage with you.

  4. #4
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What to do in relationships where you feel you''ve lost your power?

    Hey guys, thanks for the advice, freezing her out for a while makes sense.

    On a related note, what can I do to avoid this issue in the future (either with her or other women)? This has actually happened to me more than once in the past - I get a girl to feel attraction for me, things are going well, but then I show my feelings a little too strongly, and she runs for the hills, pretty much >__>

    Any tips on how to remain indifferent, in control, and yet still convey that I am interested in her? Especially in the middle stage of working towards a relationship (after the approach, but before kissing/heightened intimacy/sex - this stage is where I crumble)

    Any help is much appreciated y'all - looking to get better.

  5. #5
    axlhunter is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What to do in relationships where you feel you''ve lost your power?

    This may go against all advice on these forums, but I have NO problems getting women. Being indifferent is not what you want to be. In fact a good portion of the ways to pick up women by guys on here are wrong from the conversations I've had with women. More women have said that doing the "negging" technique makes them want to punch the guy in the face more than anything. She actually said "That negging technique or whatever it is is the WORST." I think the explosion of that aspect of picking up women has become aware to women and they don't like it.

    You can maintain control, and EASILY let her know you are interested in her. You can be in control by making decisions. Be decisive. Really that's all you have to do. When it comes to "where are we going to eat?" you decide where you want to eat while taking her thoughts into consideration. If she says "I'm in the mood for mexican" then you decide which restaurant you will go to. When you go on dates you drive. These small things make you the leader, while at the same time taking her opinions into consideration. Nobody likes a leader who just tells them what they are going to do. They like a leader that takes their feelings, and thoughts into consideration.

    The point is I believe we are approaching a turning point to where women are onto our PUA tactics, and if you don't adapt then you will shrivel and die.

    It helps to have your own life too. Do your own things, go out with other women. Don't make her your entire world, because she will sense it. No women likes a guy that is just there whenever the hell they want him. Be busy.

  6. #6
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to do in relationships where you feel you''ve lost your power?

    In no point in this thread did anybody ever mention negging.

    I just wanted to make that clear. Negging in itself, is useless unless the girl is either 1.) being a bitch to you & she doesn't even know you. 2.) I can't even think of another reason why you'd use one. They're just plain mean and there useless.

    Light, playful, fun teasing & playful disqualifiers all you need.

    You want to get power back in a situation with a girl you like?! You care less. Who ever cares less in any situation holds all the power.
    You go no contact.
    No texting.
    No calling.
    No thinking about her anymore.
    You become a busy guy & swarm your Facebook with pictures of you hanging out with girls & having a BLAST.
    When you see her, flirt just a tiny bit, then RUN NOTHING BUT DISQUALIFIERS till she breaks & gets pissed, then continue to act like you don't care.

    That's how you play power games. That's how you get control back. That's how you get coming back again and again. That's how you manipulate her feelings.

  7. #7
    axlhunter is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What to do in relationships where you feel you''ve lost your power?

    Kyl3,

    Totally agree man! I just get frustrated because I feel that most guys feel that negging is like the "magic bullet" and unless you use it playfully it can just become sticks of dynamite strapped to your chest in any kind of situation where you are trying to get women.


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