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  • 1 Post By Blistex

Thread: Hmm, its been a while

  1. #1
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Hmm, its been a while

    So there is a girl I know I was thinking about gaming some. She always comes and sits down and chats with me when I see her, we talk about lots of different things and have a lot in common.

    She is busy with a son, hasn't really dated since she had a rough breakup with the father, works a lot, just got her own place and has been in a "funk" recently. I got just the prescription for that, some time with me...as I have told her.

    I understand life is taking a toll on her right now, she is busy and so am I. We had plans to take a nature walk this weekend, which would be our first time hanging out (no go bad weather), as this interaction cannot be framed as a date because it will make her nervous and scare her off, things need to be serendipitous.

    I know a few things...she has given up on finding a man around here, she knows I find her attractive, and that I like her though I have never flat out told her, other people have. She knew me pre-pickup, when I was such a different person. We have rapport, but I need to turn it into attraction, and I've been trying to think up a good strategy, and not the whole "fun a flirty" thing, it needs to be perfectly calibrated if I'm going to pull this off.

    Just to test the waters the other day, I mentioned a girl I have been seeing and how she told me she loves me, but I don't quite feel the same about her, and how I've been upfront and honest with her and blah blah. She immediately brought up a guy her best friend is trying to set her up with, and how she is going to see her friend (who she hasn't seen forever) and isn't really interested in the guy. I used this opportunity to DHV and ended up telling her before I left I bet she meets her soulmate on her trip. She rolled her eyes and let out a big grin.

    I really look for her to flake on me a few times before I actually get her to hang out with me, as she isn't much of a texter, that I teased her about some about. I recently added her on FB after a coworker of hers added me and we commented on the same post, also I started up a conversation with that same girl (who I'm not really interested in) to try and DHV myself a bit more, as girls love to gossip. Last bit here:

    She is introverted
    We have a ton of common interested including music, guitar and our outlook on life
    She is really anxious about dating again, but wants to get out her rut
    She doesn't quite know about dating while having a kid, and feels a bit guilty like she is burdening anyone she dates with her child

    I may not have a chance at all, given the guy she knew before, but we have been getting to know each other again and hell I'll never know until I give it a shot.

    Damn that was a long post.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  2. #2
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    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hmm, its been a while

    I think I follow that and understand it completely. My sis was in that boat when. She was first divorced and it wasn't until a year or two after that when she started to seriously date.

    She used to say all the same types of things too. She often used to ask my opinion on if her thoughts where rational and wanted my opinion as a guy.

    Anyway few ways to go about it

    I do like your idea of keeping things serendipitous, make it appear it isn't what it is, just don't label it. If she asks if it is a date I'd reply only if it makes her feel comfortable otherwise it is just make up some innocent sounding thing that is just a fancy way of saying date. Like two people discussing our thoughts and enjoying....

    As for the kid thing, easiest way to approach that to make her comfortable is to just show that you are fun and playful in a child like way. Go to do fun things like mini golf, park and play on the jungle gym, fishing, picnic things that she could plausibly do with her son. Also, be engaged in any conversation that she mentions him. Lastly in mentioned childlike activities if she mentions her son would have had fun if he was here or similar reference I'd tease her like I bet we would get in so much trouble together, or are you sure you could keep up with us? Or similar. Point is that is a great way to address being ok with her having kids without directly having to have a heavy discussion.

    Not sure if this helps, or even addresses your concerns, but I only mention it because that is what I noticed my sister's now fiancÚ do I am standing up in the wedding next weekend.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  3. #3
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hmm, its been a while

    Well congrats on your sister getting married bro, that is wonderful! I've already addressed the kid issue, I kind of have a game plan, I have her open more to texting me now. I've already told her she shouldn't feel guilty, her child and her are a package deal. He opening up a bit came at an expense though...she ended up liking the guy she got hooked up with and I think they are jumping into something serious now. This is her "rebound" per say and I think she will be pretty into him right now, so I guess I'll have to keep the fun and flirty subtle and build a friendship for now, but by utilizing proper kino and planting some seeds I can get out of it when I want I think.

    I'm not sure if I should start gaming her now, as I'm sure my competition is going to have a huge advantage and be better looking than I am. Maybe I should wait and plant some seeds, start building him up to some super-high standards that he won't be able to meet...

    She really likes the guy, but she has been single for so long...we guys know how that goes. I bet she is going to jump into a relationship with him, so friendzoning her for now is what I will have to do, while planting some subtle seeds until the time is right to make a move on her.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Hmm, its been a while

    That is a tactically sound strategy, but lots of small hanging out here or there doing fun kid like things won't hurt in the mean time, ie mini golf, nature walk or similar. Just don't label it as a date.

    Stability when she has kid is a hell of a selling point. Eventually the other party will likely slip up. Just also do not sell the friend zone too hard.

    I like the idea of planting high expectations too. My sis had a couple rebounds before she found Shawn. In the end it came down to him embracing my sister for who she is and understanding her needs and the needs of my nephew. In most cases they are one in the same.

    With her jumping into something serious right away with the other guy that puts him at a distinctive disadvantage. She is liable to come off as clingy and whe know where that ends up.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  5. #5
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hmm, its been a while

    I'm not going to allow anything to be labeled, we are just two people hanging out right? I'll just flip a few attraction switches here and there then flip the right ones when the time is right.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple


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