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  • 2 Post By Blistex
  • 4 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Dates - is dinner an absolute no-no?

  1. #1
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Dates - is dinner an absolute no-no?

    I'm going out with an old acquaintance in a couple days, and she wants to buy me dinner.

    At the moment I'm not romantically interested in this girl, but I want to keep a good amount of sexual tension and playfulness in the air and keep my options open, so that if she turns out to be pretty cool I can try and take things further with her.

    This outing seems pretty much like a date to me. But I've read advice on this forum saying that dinner on the first date is bad bad BAD. In this particular situation, is dinner still not a good idea (considering she's offering to buy me a meal due to a prior event between us)? Maybe I should just get her to treat me to frozen yogurt?

    What do y'all think?

  2. #2
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dates - is dinner an absolute no-no?

    Dinner on the first date is bad if you pay for it! If she is shouting the dinner, of course go for it!

    I have been on many dinner dates which ended to sex for desert! But I never pay for both of us if I go on a dinner date. Because obviously you never know if the date will go well, and also an expensive dinner will put too much pressure on the girl and she may freak out that you have very high expectations.

    If she buys you the dinner, why not! Just remember that you must not sit in front of her. Try to sit with a 90 degree angle to her so that you get plenty of chances for kinoing her.

    Good luck

  3. #3
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    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dates - is dinner an absolute no-no?

    Looks like rather solid advice, if she is footing the bill or even agree to split check in your position either is fine but if she wants you to pay no thanks.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  4. #4
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dates - is dinner an absolute no-no?

    I disagree. I like to sit across from my dinner dates at first for good conversation. Use your conversational skills to make her comfortable and laugh, plan a venue change after where you can begin more physical escalation when the conversation goes well.

    There are other options to sit beside her as well though, such as sitting at the bar where its considered the social norm to sit beside her.

    It also depends on the atmosphere that has been set though. My last dinner date, I already had built a TON of sexual tension between us, so I sat beside her so that I could whisper all the things I was going to do to her in her ear.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Dates - is dinner an absolute no-no?

    Paying for the first date is not a big deal at all.
    Dinner, lunch, drinks, a sporting event, or some other "activity"... they're ALL totally OK.

    Just never offer to buy / pay for something for a girl you JUST met. THAT is where it all backfires.

    However... you should also be aware of "gold diggers" whop are just looking for a sugar daddy to spoil them. (But they're relatively easy to spot when you know what to look for.)

    The whole "paying" dilemma is not an issue if you spend a little time getting to know a girl & getting her to invest emotionally in you BEFORE you ask her out for a "date".

    A lot of guys have a tendency to rush into going out with a girl, before they ever build any sort of attraction. That also leads to awkwardness, nervousness. clumsy attempts at kissing & much more.

    I pretty much always pay for the first date. And have also sprung for dinner. But I hardly ever spend more than 20.00 on HER part of the cost. (Yes there are exceptions, but generally speaking, I keep the amount low)

    I DO recommend avoiding the movies for a first date though.


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  6. #6
    OG_PlMP is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Dates - is dinner an absolute no-no?

    Yup, they already said it. I too like to sit at a 90 degree angle so it's not as much pressure as sitting next to them (especially on the first date) but its still the same advantages such as easy kino. But go for the dinner! Still control the frame and pick what place to go to. Suggest a place with drinks and have a couple. Kino a lot and keep things playful, try to go for a walk afterward in the area - malls work well as well as boardwalks. Use that to hold hands with her if you hadn't already then go for the kiss.

  7. #7
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dates - is dinner an absolute no-no?

    I say go for it. If she is an old acquaintance like you say she is then it doesn't really sound like this will be a first date. If she wants to pay for it then fine. That's great. If you like her as more than just a friend then try to get her back to your place for desert if you know what I mean.

    Say something to her like "you know this is a date right? Since you are paying for it you must really have a thing for me." You want to amp things up as much as possible and just get inside her head. Even though you want her to go back to your place(if possible-her place would be your second choice)you still want to not come across like every other guy so I recommend saying things like "just because your paying for my dinner doesn't mean you get to have your way with me later(or it doesn't necessarily mean you get any d1ck later). You want to act a bit like a chick here and play hard to get. Trust me, it will peak her curiosity and the tension will go through the roof. You really need to do the cocky funny thing here(throw it in here just don't go too far with it and over do it otherwise you might come across as trying too hard but you definitely want to use it).


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