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Thread: LMR with this girl, is it over?

  1. #1
    ocantu1987 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default LMR with this girl, is it over?

    I met this girl at a dance class, I asked her out and she went out with me. I managed to bring her home after we had a few drinks and I escalated on her. She was very open to kissing and me touching her boobs but when I got close to her vagina she would give me LMR, I also tried taking her to my room and no dice. I decide not too persist too much and let her go home. She later texted me later that night saying she really had a great time with me tonight (she was a little drunk)

    The next day in dance class she changed on me, like she regreted what she did, she gave me mixed signals, but I managed a kiss anyways haha just one. After class she asked me what I was looking for in us and she told me she was definately attracted to me, but she wanted to go slow. I told her I like her too. She then said we can go out again, but that we got real close to having sex and that she does not have a sex with a guy she barely knows.

    I texted her to see if she wanted to go dancing this weekend with me and she made an excuse about her cousin coming in this weekend, but she would take a rain check, I smelled bullshit there lol

    What happend here guys? is it over with this girl? I think I made her feel like a slut and she thinks I am jerk

  2. #2
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: LMR with this girl, is it over?

    You should assume that she was telling the truth in this situation. I think you're over thinking this. Assume the cousin REALLY is coming and she's busy. If you invite her out a few more times and she flakes THEN you'll know.

    Dude this girl told you she wanted to hang out and she was attracted to you! Stop over thinking this. It's very clear your good to go!

    What happened was buyers remorse. You got into that gray zone where you went far but didn't close so she regrets it. If you would have just made out with her, or completely closed her, it would probably be different. Trust me on this one, you could have EASILY f-closed this girl.

    Look for some LMR guides on here so next time this doesn't happen. Kino has a good one and I've written one. I'm sure others have as well but I haven't read them. Stay confident!!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: LMR with this girl, is it over?

    Not every girl will go all the way all the time. If she was resistant, you could have just stopped and gone ice cold. Or you could have done what she would have let u do then try again a little later.

    Now the problem is that you can taste the sex... You know that your next step is sex and she knows you know. So it's really akward for her. The thing to do now is totally be awesome to her and give no hint that you are looking for sex. Game other girls in the meantime and leave her be a couple weeks.

    If she does hang with you again, nothing more than a friendly hug and maybe a hand hold but keep it brief. She was drunk too so maybe she is worried about looking like a tramp.

    But I don't see any reason to give up. Don't apologize for trying to have sex with her. But also don't remind her of it. Build comfort after leaving her alone for a bit like I said.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  4. #4
    ocantu1987 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LMR with this girl, is it over?

    Update: Ohhh man, I got to follow the pick up rules. She contacted me again saying hi, but before that my mom gave the grand idea of sending her flowers since she felt bad about that night, I thought ok I will send her some. I pushed the stalker zone and found her facebook messaged her and no reply. I found out where she works online, she just told me she works at state farm in houston and bam her name was on there website.

    So she got the flowers and she really liked them. She texted me saying I was a sweetheart. She still had plans with her cousin that weekend and she drunk texted me at 3:30am saying my name, hmmm ok lol. The next day I invited her to my place for some pizza and she said she was so hungover, no counteroffer.

    I waited 3 whole days to text her about her how her schedule is and no response lol its been a day erghhh.

    I know what mistakes are clear to me.

    1. Telling her I like her, well I asked her to tell me how she felt about me first lol
    2. sending her flowers equals a needy B**** lol why did i do this I will never do this again lol
    3. stalking her somewhat on facebook and finding out where she works. I guess I really liked her
    4. I should of f-closed her that night lol I showed her mercy and didnt try to hard because I thought she was a sweet girl haha I will show no more mercy to any girl again even if I date a nun lol

    Anything else you guys can point out? I well definitely try not to repeat these silly mistakes again. Already made plans to go out sarging this weekend

  5. #5
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    Default Re: LMR with this girl, is it over?

    Duuuude! You were doing just fine! Why did you do that! It's ok man, we've all been there.

    I don't think telling her that you liked her was THAT big of a deal. I personally wouldn't have said that but I don't think it was a deal breaker. In the future don't say those exact words. I would have said something like "I think you're totally awesome, attractive, and I really like (insert personality trait here) about you." Not straight up "I like you".

    You pretty much hit it right on with what you did wrong. In the future DON'T take advice from a woman. They LOVE to help but they never do. I've been down that route countless times and I've only got decent advice once. It's not a good idea.

    Everyone does the flower thing at least once. I gave a girl flowers that I was seeing right when I got out of high school. Yellow roses to be exact. It totally pushed her away. The silly thing is that yellow was her favorite color and she didn't pick up on that right away. I ended up seeing her at a party three years later and she was ALL over me telling me how "different" I was for giving her flowers. She also mentioned that she knows why they were yellow now and how awesome that was. I told her straight up "yea I know it was awesome, too bad you didn't appreciate it at the time. That ship has sailed." That felt pretty damn good!

    Remember there's no such thing as a "good" or "sweet" girl. That sort of thinking will limit you. I can tell you now that I've banged some "sweet" girls the first time I hung out with them. It's all in your head.

    I'll leave this reply with some damn good advice I got from Meteora when I first started coming here and had a problem. Dude your doing everything right! Stop thinking your screwing stuff up. That will become a self fulfilling prophecy. The reason WHY you screwed up was because you THOUGHT you did something wrong. You didn't. Stay confident in your abilities!

  6. #6
    ocantu1987 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LMR with this girl, is it over?

    man thanks direct! I am still new to pick-up, I got lots to learn lol

  7. #7
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    Default Re: LMR with this girl, is it over?

    As a fellow dancer, I'll chime in and help you out.

    In the future...

    - Let your actions control your emotions, not the other way around. Being a venusian artist and learning the art is honing and conditioning your emotions into being indifferent. What is indifference? Indifference is the absence of need. Your cup is full on its own. When you are abundant, you are not going to naturally be affected by things outside of you. Guys who are not full are reactive, as if they have buttons on them that girls can just push. When you have indifference, you are not easily impressed by a hot chick. It is a challenge to get emotion out of you than others. When there is something that she can do to other guys and get a rise out of them, but she can’t get it from you, how much of a challenge have you just become in her eyes?

    - The flowers thing was a chump move. It wasn't a deal breaker, but next time don't listen to women's advice. That's like asking a meth addict how to stop using drugs. Don't do it again.

    - There is nothing wrong telling a girl "you like her" You can be honest with your intentions and be authentic without giving up your power. That takes balls and shows confidence because you are leaving yourself vulnerable to rejection. When you do it correct, it is non-transactional. That means it is a gift and you are not expecting anything in return. Once you become needy, have expectations, you give up your power/value, then the context of it changes from her PoV

    - Get rid of the word "stalker" out of your innergame. That is you projecting your insecurities. It does you no good. Girls creep on social medial all the time. No reason why you can't do that for some intel as long as you are not obsessing over it

    Echoing what Direct said, you are overthinking and your innergame is shaky.

    Overthinking => Anxiety => Not True Confidence => Dealbreaker

    If you are new and serious about "the art" then start doing your own research, reading books and invest in your self development. Many guys come on the forums for advice for a short term problem but that is not going to fix things long term. As the saying goes "Catch a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime."

  8. #8
    ocantu1987 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LMR with this girl, is it over?

    Yeah thanks man. I can work on that haha I had the hardest time realising that I have to approach women, but I actually do it now.

    I have read some books like bang by roosh and girls chase ebook, can you recommend anything?

    I am very negative when it comes to women, like this girl didn't respond to my message in a whole day and I already think the worse and I have deleted her number from my phone lol I just think the worse, my buddy tells me to give them the benefit of the doubt

    could she be having a bad day or something? are women like this? they change their mind about a guy quick? dang this girl was all over me that night I brought her home lol

  9. #9
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: LMR with this girl, is it over?

    It's not so much women change their minds. They are empathetic creatures and feel more than men. When the moment is over, their logical side kicks in. In your case, the girl may have gotten a case of Buyer's Remorse due to her being drunk and not thinking rationally or she felt some ASD backlash by the way she was acting.

    As for your negativity, you need to exorcised that like a demon. That is all part of your innergame - your confidence. Your negativity is part of your insecurity/self-esteem and you project it onto others and your situations. You think the worst out of a situation when you should be visualizing the best positive outcome. A man with true confidence is completely unaffected.

    The truth is we will never know what is going on in a woman's life. Their attraction can fluctuate based on it. Regardless, we should NOT care and it let it affect our game. Women want a man who is a rock in the midst of their storm. How the hell are you going to be a rock if you are overly reactive as if there's buttons all over you? You will be like any other chump if not worst. But if she can't get out of you what she can from others, now you just become a challenge to her - and attractive/desirable.

    Seduction is all about creating positive/good emotions in women. If you see your exchange with a woman with negativity, how are you suppose to achieve this? You just undermined yourself before you began.

    Before I even recommend you any books, you need to fix and clean up this negativity first and foremost or else your success with women will be undone. If your foundation and your innergame is faulty, it won't matter what kind of PUA techniques you learn. Your identity will be so muddied, incongruent and not genuine, you will never find the right girl for you.

    For you, I recommend starting off with Mark Manson's True Confidence.

  10. #10
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: LMR with this girl, is it over?

    I agree. Alot of good advice on this thread. Inner game is way more of an issue in guys lives than outer. Just sad that many don't focus on it as a primary need.

    Also, I think ocantu is on track because at least he realized that he did the wrong move. That is huge in the long run.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde



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