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Thread: How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?"

  1. #1
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?"

    This line of questioning is what I feel I like I always trip up on.

    Here's a quick list:
    1. "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
    2. "How many women have you dated?"
    3. "Are you dating someone?"
    4. (If I say no to #3) "Why aren't you going out with anyone?"

    My gut tells me that I shouldn't honestly be giving up this information easily/without some banter, or that I shouldn't be honest about it at all.

    And especially for a guy like me, just getting serious about improving my game, and essentially girlfriendless for 21 years, the "Have you had a girlfriend?" question stings quite a bit, as it's difficult and sucky to answer : |

    I know the goal should be to improve myself, and not to try and get a girlfriend at any cost, but in these kinds of situations, it hurts quite a bit ;__;

    Anyway, how do y'all answer these kinds of questions? I feel like when women ask me these things, they definitely have some interest/attraction for me, but I don't really know how to answer in such a way that conveys my lack of experience with relationships. Any advice?

  2. #2
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?

    I think the answer to all those questions is "how long is a piece of string?!". If you want to avoid answering questions you either can flip it around and ask her "How many boyfriend You have had?!".
    Basically they are really personal questions and they should not really be asked by someone who does not know you well. If you are not comfortable with answering them merely say that you are not happy to answer any personal questions!

  3. #3
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?

    The only purpose of these questions is to make you qualify.

    1)"Have you ever had a girlfriend ?"

    If you say yes,they will start asking you why did you break up and what happened which is stupid and will only lead you to a friend zone.

    If you say no,you've admitted that you're a virgin which will make it awkward and you don't want that.


    2)"How many women have you dated?"

    If you say too many,she'll think you are a man-whore.

    If you say in the middle(3-5),they'll start asking why did you break up and so on.

    If you say no,you've admitted that you're a virgin which will make it awkward and you don't want that.

    3)"Are you dating someone?"

    If you say yes,you won't actually be able to get the girl you're gaming.

    If you say no,they will ask you the most stupid question which is your last question

    4)"Why aren't you going out with anyone?"

    Because I'm hitting on you right now,Jesus Christ,woman.


    Conclusion : If a girl asks you these questions,she's either stupid or wants to friend-zone you,these are personal questions which only destroy your value if answered,except for the "Are you dating someone ?" because sometimes girls ask you that,that's not a bad sign usually.

    To be honest I don't remember a girl asking me such questions except for the "Do you have a girlfriend"/"Are you dating someone ?"

    The best way to answer these questions if asked :

    1)Exaggerate. (Ex : Q:"How many girlfriends have you dated ?",A:"Around 15 000")

    2)Tell them it's a personal question which you don't want to answer.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?

    Ra1d has it down.

    But I would like to add... When you say its personal, you could add,"See, women see me that I'm pretty awesome so they try to find out what girls I like or what type I date etc... So I stopped answering those questions. Don't.be paranoid girl! I'm here with you now, you have my attention for the moment. Relax. Let's have fun!"

    OR
    "I keep that info to myself. Cause usually it ends up being what was your ex like and stuff, why aren't you together etc ... And that is private. Even my ex that I don't like... I would never bad mouth her. Couples business should remain their business."

    Subtly builds trust and comfort. If you don't tell about past girls, you won't tell about her. The first example I gave is more about getting them to chase you. Making it seem that you know that they are asking because they want you.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  5. #5
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    Default Re: How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?

    @AFC

    people will THROW the book at you on what "books" tell you to do.

    IF YOU WANT TO JUST F* HER
    then by all means, "string" (ask her the same question), and "qualify" (play games) her.


    IF U R LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT GIRL
    as a man who distinguishes himself from other men, you must act like a man.

    a real man is honest and you should give her an honest answer.

    your answers must be:
    1. delivered reasonably quickly
    2. damn honest
    3. eliminate the worry about the "failure" in your response.

    CONCLUSION
    you should let the forums know what kind of a person you are and the what your game is currently like.

    because there are many "schools" and their approach varies with how far along in you are or what you want to do.....

    you'll get a better answer if you are more specific about your background.... DO NOT be afraid to talk about yourself, because you won't get the RIGHT answer unless those who care about giving you the RIGHT answer know what you want.

    -cheers
    Last edited by YOKiTran; 04-25-2014 at 08:40 AM. Reason: grammer

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?

    I like all the advice given here but my approach is most like Yoki Trans. I never have a girl I just met ask me these questions EXCEPT the "are you dating someone" question. However I've had ALLOT of women that I've dated/messed around with ask me how many women I've dated.

    I don't beat around the bush. I tell them I've dated allot of women. I've slept with allot of women. I don't even remember all the women I've slept with.

    Being honest with the girl is the best way in this scenario. I've never had a girl that had a problem with that. Even ones I've dated that have only been with 1-2 guys. Honesty almost always works in your favor (unless you tell her that her best friend is better looking than her, that's just stupid).

  7. #7
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?

    @DIB ... I agree don't lie EVER but also don't give them what they want right away. You can be honest but always make her work for it.

    Anything can be used for her to qualify you, so be careful when answering questions.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  8. #8
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    Default Re: How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?

    let me just sum up - and piggy back on Direct.

    you have to remember to be consistent in your game with who you are.... or at least the game that you wish to play.

    IF YOU'RE BEYOND GAMES (intermediate PUA)
    be humble - respond naturally (no ego/unabashed), she will appreciate and respect you.

    men make the MISTAKE of reading too much into her response -- in any situation where you read too much, you lose.

    remember, WHAT IS A PUA training for.?? he is training himself on how to respond UNAFRAID and QUICKLY.

    women have this "response" skill trained naturally as all kinds of men hit on them at a young age.

    THEREFORE, when you respond as they respond, you are speaking to them how they NATURALLY are spoken to by other women.

    they are already use to talking about such things (sexual/attraction) and are "CLEARLY" taken back when a man can respond on the same level.

    when you game the 9s/10s, or the Alpha Female... you are able to because women do not respect men who can't make quick decision.

    remember - EVERY PUA master seeks this level of game --- the level to communicate on a woman's "natural" level.... and, what more, because women do it "naturally" they do not quit understand it when a man takes the time to learn it to his advantage.

    COMPARE a BIG bruising muscle athlete bred into good genes -- but he is nothing against a man who has learned martial arts.

    the bruiser throws his weight around -- but becomes quite humbled when the learned artist can humble him with simple hand strokes.

    CONCLUSION
    let me remind you, it is CRUCIAL you chose the "school" that fits you.... they are ALL effective (maybe more than others), but you need to find your direction.

    years ago when i was doing all this "learning" (still am), it was fun to learn it all.... but it becomes time consuming and u may spend time arguing finer points --- which wastes MORE time.

    decide on the school u want, and it will allow you to ask better questions.... rather than throw a general question out and get answers from all kinds of schools --- that may not fit your style.

    cheers.^^

  9. #9
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?

    Thanks for the advice guys, it helps a ton.

    I've been asked these questions by two women, both of which inquired when we'd known each other for good while (2-3 months) - so it's not something that had come up immediately.

    After thinking about it quite a bit, I'm of the opinion that it's only proper to answer honestly/directly when you've had a good deal of experience with women. What I'm essentially getting at is that it's NOT good to respond "No, I haven't dated someone before" >_>, because I feel that might ring an alarm for women (i.e., "There must be something about this guy I don't know that made other women not want him"). Raid and LockDown's reasoning definitely makes a lot of sense. And truth be told, is it kind of a personal question! I don't know if one should be giving out that kind of information without at least some banter or whatnot.

    But the naturalness of an honest response is also powerful - I just don't know if it can be done unless you've had some experience, otherwise you're making things harder for yourself by making the girl uncomfortable.

    I'm open to discussion on whether this conclusion is valid or not though.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: How do you respond when a girl asks you "How many women have you dated?

    AFC,
    that "feeling of being uncomfortable"

    naturally, it is because you're not use to being so open... HOWEVER, remember:

    the "FEELING" is only what you MADE IT TO BE.

    this is a SIGNIFICANT idea you must pay attention to.

    IF you "THINK" and "ACT" uncomfortable, the feeling will linger and taint "the moment".... the same feeling happens when there is a LULL in the conversation between men and women.

    this idea is NOTHING NEW, but you will appreciate it when you pay attention to its importance.

    .... Strauss really knocked it into my head back in the day and it is a PREVAILING idea in all PUA masters.....

    the IDEA is that we are the entertainers, that it is in our own hands to lead a conversation into a positive outcome.

    CONCLUSION
    so, you're feeling of discomfort stems from you... this is why many of us suggest an OPEN/DIRECT response. this is also why i suggest you do it "unabashed".

    it will also help you to ingrain the idea "what would a real man do".?? project your father or that "guy" you look up to as a man's man.... it is the SAME guy women want.

    that is so corny to state, but..... sh*t... i'm talking too much again. LOL

    you get the idea, friend.^^

    GL


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