Hey, brand new to this site, so wish I had of found it months ago!
I really need some advice on my situation, if it's possible to get my ex back and if so what course of action to take. I know I really screwed up...so here's the background:
Me and my ex used to get along really well, however she would frequently complain about me not seeing her enough. We lived 45 minute drive away from each other and her work shifts made it difficult. Early December last year we argued about this and both decided that it wasn't working and we should split after being together for 2 years. The holidays come and past and we stayed in limited communication.
I realised after New year how much I loved her and wanted her back and was confident she would say the same, so I asked her to meet for a coffee. However when we met she told me that we had done the right thing!! She said I'd ignored her her one to many times and she felt like I didn't love her or give her enough attention. I admit that I could have definitely made her feel more special.
I then made it my goal to prove how much I cared for and loved her!!
But the reality was I didn't know how to handle the rejection and panicked!! For the next 3 months I begged, pleaded and tried to convince her that we were meant to be together and that I did truly love her. I'd text her and she would respond but never initiate. This seemed to work to an extent as she agreed to meet up with me every couple of weeks or so. Whenever we went out we always had a great time, got on perfect and it was like being back together. On 3 or 4 occasions we'd end up in a hotel and sleeping with each other. But each time we parted she would go back to being distant. She'd tell me that she enjoyed spending time with me, but "something wasn't right". I'd ask what but she just said her feelings and didn't know what exactly.
I then found out she was on plenty of fish (where we initially met) and she told me she was only on there looking for attention that I never give her. I made a profile on there and messaged her, and she went mad for me being on there accusing me of talking to other girls. I said if she's on there I can be on as well.
About a month ago I managed to persuade her to spend the day with me in my city and we went out drinking together, this meant that she would have to stay at my house. When we were out and a bit drunk she told me that she thought I was handsome but didn't find me "rip your clothes off sexy" and also that I was "just to nice". I asked her about us getting back together and she said she'd have to make a decision and appreciated that it wasn't fair on me. She thought I'd make an amazing father and her family loved me so much which was important to her..blah blah blah.
I then asked if there was anyone else and she admitted she had been "meeting" another guy. I got angry at first then managed to calm down as I realised she was staying over and I had a chance to get her back.
We carried on drinking and eventually got back to my house and ended up having sex for hours. When we finished I started thinking about this other guy and started to quiz her. We ended up arguing and she asked if I'd looked at her phone! I flipped out as she must have been texting this guy during the day when she had been with me. I admit I had a bit of a meltdown. 3 months of frustration, uncertainty and now the Knowledge of another guy (fuelled by alcohol) come out in a torrent of anger and emotion, crying and begging, calling her names! Not a pretty sight.
She left the following day and said it was over. I text her for the next 2 weeks trying to persuade her but she never really said much other than my texts weren't helping matters and that she wouldn't meet as she'd tried it lots of times and it hadn't changed her mind.
I asked her about this other guy and she told me that they were enjoying each other company and seeing how things went but weren't serious yet. I then give her a load of abuse about stringing me along and did this guy know she'd been sleeping with her ex etc etc. She tried to defend herself then told me to not to contact her again and it was over.
2 days later I text her saying no hard feeling and I hoped things worked out for her. She replied instantly saying "you too, take care xx"
That was 3 weeks ago and the last time we've been in contact.
Despite what has happened I love her so much and want her back more than anything. I put in so much mental and physical effort into reconciliation for the past 4 months that I really don't want to just accept defeat.
Does anyone have any advice about what I can do do to get her back?