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Thread: Going To Prom Alone? Should I Even Go?!

  1. #11
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Going To Prom Alone? Should I Even Go?!

    Glad you are honest about yourself. You took the first step in recognizing the problem and now you can pin-point what to work on. Many of us, myself included, started off as AFCs. Hell, I was an AFC all of high school, through college, and well into my 30s. The venusian arts didn't exist back then. So yea, you got time to grow.

    The reason why you lose interest in a girl is because of low confidence and self esteem. Losing interest and feeling indifferent is actually a coping mechanism. The other coping mechnanism is a guy who is overconfident at the expense of other people (because he is compensating for a lack of). You feel you need to get laid because it's a form of self-validation. Your cup is not full. A man with a full cup doesn't need attention or validation. When you are flowing with abundance and is confident, you are not going to be affected by things outside of you or care what other people think.

    As for how you dress, who cares about what other people think? Dress in a way that makes you feel good and in good taste. Don't assume you know what other people think. Who cares. Everyone has their own insecurities to worry about even the most prettiest girl in school. As for the people who would put you down, they are the ones with the real insecurities because they feel they have to bring someone down to their own level to feel better about themselves.

    I would start with any book that deals with inner game. Also another tip is never be afraid of rejection or failure.

    Rejection is often taken as "you are not good enough." In the world of PUA always reframe as an incompatibility. You are an actor, but you didn't get the part at the audition because your style wasn't compatible to the director's vision.

    Failure same thing. Some of the world most successful people are those who failed the most. That is where Babe Ruth got his famous quote breaking record as the player with the most homeruns, but he also had the most strikeouts. "Every strike leads me closer to the next home run"

    Lastly, regarding your own insecurities, the important thing is to embrace your fears and insecurities and acknowledge them. When you embrace it, you can move past it. But if you resist it, then you only reinforce it.

    That is where the basis of building a solid inner game all starts.

  2. #12
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Going To Prom Alone? Should I Even Go?!

    Also another tip is never be afraid of rejection or failure.
    ah yes, I always tell myself "the worst thing she can do is turn me down" (because getting turned down isn't that bad)

    however, I think you should be afraid of failure. but my idea of failure is different from yours.

    I define failure as: not making the approach, or missing the opportunity to talk to her because you're worried about what to say. those are failures.

    I like to think to myself, "that could be the last chance you get to talk to a pretty woman before you die" or " yay, another pretty woman i'll never get to see again if I don't stop and say high to her"

    they have this cheesy saying that I like to remind myself of every now and then.

    "you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take"

    I want you to think about that. you'll always regret chances you didn't take.

    btw, another thing that will help you get into the right mindset for prom is a though I had before I went to my senior prom.

    "i'll probably never see any of these girls again, so I might as well take a chance and have fun talking to them."

    I think I said It to myself 5 times on the way there.

    so go have fun at your prom and stop overthinking about how you're gonna score. go there to enjoy yourself and have a good time.

  3. #13
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Going To Prom Alone? Should I Even Go?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jose Cardenas View Post
    Thanks for the replies guys, now I got a good insight.

    Prom i this saturday, I askes a chick in my class and she said she wasnt going becuase no one asked her, so I said l"lets go together heres how the convo went

    I sar her walking in the halls we made eye contact

    Me " How we doin"
    Her: Good just running an erron for a teacher
    Me: "Ill walk you, In heading over here too, so tell me I bet you dont have a prom date"
    Her: No, nobody asked me.
    Me: Lets go together, get a nice dress,ill pick you up, we eat, dance vroom vroom!!"
    Her: I already made plans for saturday, you shoulda ask me earlier so I can get ready and look pretty
    Me: Dont worry, you look good with me, we can show each other off. Cancel what you got on saturday and well head over saturday night.
    Her: I dony know, ill think about it
    Me: Im going regardless, so your free to join me.
    Her: Maybe, I will think about it.

    At this point im not sure if she wants to go,frankly I dont care she ok looking anyways. but Im at the point to where I am thinking about going myself, or asking random girls.

    Before I had the goal to get laid, I guess the new goal is to get numbers then do the nasty.

    Wow I cant believe im struggling here. How should I go about acting during prom?
    I'm going to point out that there's a very good lesson you can learn from this interaction.

    This was one of the worst possible ways to ask a girl to prom. You didn't do any flirting, didn't generate any attraction, didn't give her any reason to believe you like her other than her looks, and didn't establish yourself as a person of high value! There's also the indirect insult brought up by the others.

    Don't fret over it, as even the best PUAs had similar gaffes when starting out. You'll get better. What I want to point out is that despite doing everything wrong, all the girl did was...kindly say "I'll think about it". She didn't chew you out, she didn't give you a disgusted look, and she didn't "shoot you down" or do anything to make you feel upset. The lesson from this is that rejection is not nearly as bad as a lot of people make it out to be. Most of the time, the worst that can happen is that the girl very kindly says no, or is noncommital about moving forward with you (like here). And these aren't that bothersome.

    Its similar to a video on Youtube where a guy walks around asking girls for sex. A couple got really mad at him, but 95% of them just kindly said "no thanks".

    So, this interaction basically ended with a rejection, but it clearly wasn't that bad. Use this example as a reference to not fear it in the future.

  4. #14
    Jose Cardenas is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Going To Prom Alone? Should I Even Go?!

    I guess I"ll start approaching lots of girls\act social. and if they reject me who gives sh!t right? Shes no one to really affect me. Im gonna start going out alot more and improvimg myselfs.

    This is my point of starting to fabricate the best of myself, Im genuinely tganking you guys.


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