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  1. #1
    Shark1804 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Why am I better when I'm alone?

    So, a few hours ago I went clubbing with a friend and we tried to game some girls, unfortunately he didn't know how to open them (or that's what I think) and I was having kind of AA (hold on there, it gets funny) so we didn't really danced with any girl.
    A few hours passed and while we were looking for some other set to start dancing with, he gets a message and has to leave, leaving me alone.
    While alone I was able to dance with three women, and almost kissed one (I know that if I don't actually close it doesn't count, but considering that she was at least 4 years older than me, that I was able to build some attraction and that she left me because they changed the song not because I messed up, I felt pretty good about that).
    From this experience I managed to make a few conclusions:
    a) my friend sucks at opening
    b) it was actually being with my friend what made me nervous, it was not regular AA.

    So I have a few questions: Why do I get more AA while being with my friend than when I'm alone? And when you start dancing with a girl, should you just grab her arm and start dancing or is there a better technique?

  2. #2
    Dave-o is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Why am I better when I'm alone?

    Hate to say this but the change in song could have been used as an excuse for her to leave the situation. Either that or she wanted you both to leave the dance floor, depending on how attracted to you she was, and the change in music was used as a tactic to move some place else.

    If there was an HB 9 on the dance floor with you. If you were really in to her, would you leave the dance floor if they chose a song that you didn't like? Or would you hang in there, especially if it looked like it was going somewhere.

    Additionally, why did she leave the dance floor alone? Why didn't you suggest going somewhere else, away from the music. You could have joked about it and told her that if she can't just let herself go, dance irrespective of the music, then perhaps she's not as wild as she would like to think she was.

    Don't forget, a switch in location is often a good tactic. Change location and it has the multi dates approach to it.

    As for AA, and your friend, I think perhaps your friend's opinion matters too much to you? You are too concerned about embarrassing yourself in front of them, so much so that you can't be yourself. I think that happens to a lot of people. We can only truly be ourselves when we are by ourself. We need to be able to go for it, without any thoughts that we are being judged by friends or those that we know.

    Perhaps I'm wrong with what I've said but I wanted to give my take on the situation.

  3. #3
    Shark1804 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Why am I better when I'm alone?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave-o View Post
    Additionally, why did she leave the dance floor alone?
    She didn't, we were dancing at the bar and her friends were right next to us (I was actually thinking of changing locations to get rid of them). I don't believe she used it as an excuse since we were having a good time, but maybe it was that and I just didn't realise. Either way, it was one of the best interactions that I had in the whole night lol (I might suck a little at this haha).

    Regarding the other thing: yes, it could totally be that. Next time I'll try to stop caring about their opinions.

    Thanks for your answer Dave!


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