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Thread: Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date...

  1. #1
    Vidar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date...

    Hi Guys, I'm really in a pickle at the moment...

    I managed to get a date with a solid HB8 early last week... because of time constraints it was a coffee date and only lasted around 2hrs due to the fact she had to be at work and I had important errands to run. But I felt it went really well, there was no uncomfortable silences we got on great but she is really shy about PDA so at the end it felt to awkward to go in for a kiss on the cheek or something.

    We arranged a 2nd date for tomorrow night, something a little more traditional, drinks in a bar, but I sensed she was flaking on me as she wouldn't commit to a set time and well she just cancelled on me using the excuse of having a hair appointment. She had told me about this prior and said it may come up but if she was really keen I suppose it wouldn't interfere with our plans...

    Normally I'd just text back something like "Maybe some other time..." but I like this girl and we've been flirting none stop for the past 6 months or more every time we've crossed paths.

    I told her I was free on Thursday night or Monday if she wanted to rearrange but also added like the total AFC I am that if she wasn't interested we could just leave it, that I'm a big boy and wouldn't hold it against her... I realise this was a huge mistake and instantly regretted sending it. She responded by telling me although we got on great she just didn't feel the spark but was still willing to go on another date on Monday night to see if that changed.

    I've told her a specific time and place to be at and am just waiting for confirmation...



    Although we've been texting regularly and I've been jumping between comfort texts and trying to build attraction I'll admit I'm struggling... I've tried to build attraction before and come across as being more cocky and arrogant than I am and have already had one girl complain I wasn't the same in person so I'm trying to be more myself and don't seem to be building much attraction if any...


    Guys please help me save this if I can...... She's by far the best prospect for girlfriend material I've come across in a good while...

  2. #2
    SolidT is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date

    bro your putting too much effort into this pick up is easy start looking for another hot girl in your area.if you are stuck read upmost attraction on this site it helped me fit the puzzles together.

  3. #3
    Vidar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date

    How so exactly?

    I mean walking away is the easy part but how am I ever going to learn if I don't realise my mistakes or learn how to recover from them? I want to learn how to recover from this situation, build attraction so that it may keep things going here or the next time I start chatting with someone stop me from falling into the same trap

  4. #4
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date

    VIDAR ~

    When she texted you that although you got on great she just didn't feel the spark , you should have said something like " Well look, I like you but I'm not in like with you so lets just hang and have a good time" ..... you cant let SHIT TESTS like that, and trust me, it was a SHIT TEST, rock your confidence. Keep it fun, flirty, and random and you'll be OK

  5. #5
    SolidT is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date

    but I like this girl and we've been flirting none stop for the past 6 months or more every time we've crossed paths.
    I never walked away from my girl that i got help from on here thanks to HardRock so definitely see through the same lenses on that.
    your attraction game seemed to need a bit of work so you may try this
    get her interest

    Moving on to the next will keep you on your toes.for maintainig that for six months you did well.you could take that to another girl.i don't really know which foot to tap.don't want to mess with your even though i like taking risks

  6. #6
    Vidar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date

    This stuff is so much harder than I thought... I didn't think this was a shit test at all just a declaration she wasn't interested but wanted to give me a 2nd chance as we've been flirting for so long...

    Right now she's in work so can't text back but with the text about being there on Monday at a specific time I added "If you're even 1 minute late this time though you should feel obliged to give me a kiss on the cheek... "

    Was this a good move? Don't worry I won't be messaging her again unless I hear from her but I figured I needed to start building some attraction and figured I'd start small and lightly....

    Probably another mistake though...

  7. #7
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date

    TRY THIS;

    "Listen dork, all this messaging is starting to make me feel like a computer nerd. Let's converse like normal people. Meet me at X for a quick drink this (Thursday). That way if you turn out to be crazy I can make a run for it!"

    On the day of the date:

    "Alright 7 o'clock at X. I'll be the guy standing by the emergency exit wearing the running shoes."



    I think that one came from T-MAL .... but keep it FUN & FLIRTY and NEVER LET ON THAT SOMETHING SHE SAID OR DID BOTHERS YOU ..... You can save that for when you get into a commited relationship with her

  8. #8
    Vidar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date

    You seem to have more faith in my abilities than I do...

    We've text back and forth a little tonight and am trying to build attraction going by some of what I've read here... namely trying to use words like feel or imagine etc and taking a break from texting telling her am going for a shower and not to imagine me "in the birthday suit" but it feels forced...

  9. #9
    Vidar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date

    So I'm determined still to try and salvage this one above others at the moment despite generating two more potential leads via POF...

    I tried the cube via text, which seemed to back fire as she just dismissed what I said however I just wanted to see if it could work via text as an option for generating interest/rapport. We text back a few more times but nothing major.... though she called me a strange man... When I said I didn't know how to take that she replied with two smiley faces!


    Now she's told me she will never text any lad first, its one of her rules apparently and just screams of a shit test to me... but obviously I've not passed that one yet as she still refuses to do so, so again I initiated contact though I used a cliff hanger.... "You'll never guess what happened to me today?"

    30 mins later HER = "Go on then..."

    4Hrs later HER = "?"

    20 mins later ME = "Come on Wrinkles... You're supposed to try and guess "

    5 mins later HER = "I don't wanna guess"

    20 Mins later ME = "Then you'll never know "

    2 mins later HER = "Weirdoooo"

    Instant ME = "Am not Weird... you're just no fun"

    Is this another shit test? And how am I handling it so far?

    As for the pet name Wrinkles.... she never seems to be out of the bath at home so I'd made a comment about how that should be attractive except for the fact she probably looked like an old woman... so started calling her Wrinkles


    If I'm messing up somehow like I suspect I am.... can someone suggest a way to pull my ass out of the fire and point me in a better direction?

  10. #10
    HollywoodCA's Avatar
    HollywoodCA is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl says she doesn't feel a spark but still willing to go for 2nd date

    You don't care whether or not she feels a spark. You're the man with lots of options. She needs to give YOU a spark.
    You're mindset has to change. Neg her for being too shy to kiss in public.
    And work on your PUA skills and have other women! Be more Alpha.
    "Cause people are funny and they donít know what they want when they have it
    Itís only things they donít know that they can believe in"





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