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Thread: 2nd date: do I need to k*close?

  1. #11
    Kyl3's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2nd date: do I need to k*close?

    I strongly disagree.

    Just because you're nice & "friendly" to a girl does not mean that you're automatically going to turn into this guy that she'll never find attractive or fark.

    Why doesn't every guy just become a self centered cocky jerk if that's what girls want??! It's because it's not what they want. You can try that, while I charm her pants off literally.

    Some of the best relationships start as just friends. Why does this happen? Because the friend zone is a load of shit guys use as an excuse as to why there "nice guy" moves didn't work out with her being there girlfriend or her sleeping with then.

    She's either attracted to you, or she isn't. If she isn't, she uses the "friend" card as an excuse not to hurt your feelings because she cares enough to do that. She can still become attracted to you over time. It happens all the time.

    Millions of guys are stuck in the friend zone because they're not attractive dudes. They're boring, awkward, zero fun, passive aggressive, etc. AKA, she doesn't like them due to having no chemistry, etc.

    I actually wrote an entire thread on how to escape the "friend zone" that you should probably look at.

    I could write a detailed response to the second part you responded with but I'm on my phone and frankly I don't care enough to type it out. I just wanted to let you know that you're wrong, & I'm right, so let the pissing contest begin.

    I'll be stuck in the "friend zone" while you do your routine "game" thing. The only difference is, I'll be the one hooking up with the girl while you're scratching your head as to why your shit game didn't work out just to post on this anonymous forum later where you'll find these other chumps are also scratching there heads giving you shit for advice.

  2. #12
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 2nd date: do I need to k*close?

    Wow, that was an interesting read! Thanks guys!

    I have mixed feelings about the friend zone. What I mean is that I started as best friends with my ex and we eventually hooked up and had a great relationship (at least the 2 first years), and I honestly like how everything happened naturally. We became more and more comfortable with each other and we eventually fell in love.
    BUT (yes, there is a but), this was when I was a student and it was easier to hang around other students for long periods of time. Once you get active, you don't get so many opportunities and you get stuck in this dating game. I feel like I have to spend an enormous amount of effort to hang out with a girl and get to know her. I will take her to some event, some exhibition, some concert, etc. but it's still not enough to feel a connection (that's how I feel at least).

    Also, if a guy doesn't show his intentions at some point, the girl will indeed not see him as a potential partner. I think it's more a matter of calibration and a guy should adapt his speed of escalation to the girl's personality.

    For example, I don't hang out in bars and am not into one-night stands. The girls I meet are through friends (parties) or at meetups. When you go to such events, you see that the mood is different. There is no heavy flirting. People usually meet for the 1st time, get to know each other and it kinda feels creepy if you try to make out with a girl at such events. They are not event necessarily looking for someone.

    Now, coming back to this girl I met, I guess she probably liked the way I teased her and that's why she wrote first (I had planned to write to her after our meeting, but she is the one who initiated in the end.

    You got me thinking there when you asked "are you sure this was a date?". I am not so sure anymore, but I guess it still was a date. Why would a guy ask her out if he was not interested in her? Guys don't chase after girls just to make friends. I am the one chasing her and always suggesting to meet, so I can't see how my intentions are not obvious.

    Sure, I definitely have to step up my game for the 3rd date, but I am not sure anymore what I am feeling about this girl.
    I have come to realize after 1.5 years that I have been asking out girls I was not genuinely attracted to. And that is why my dates were always failures, because I was not so much into the girl and I was not particularly compelled to kiss her.

    The one I saw yesterday has some employment issues and she is not even sure she will stay in town. This is another thing to may keep me back unconsciously... Dunno...
    Oh man, life is hard... I wish I could get rid of all that shit... I am not even enjoying the process at this point with all the "mind games" and "dating rituals and protocols".
    I am who I am. Girls might find me not bold enough, or might even find me boring because I am too calm to sweep them off their feet. But what can I do, man? I am no casa nova and it's not my temperament to be one.
    My friends love my personality as it ease. It just takes some time to know me and it's not with 3 2-hour dates that this will happen.

    Cheers.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: 2nd date: do I need to k*close?

    2 things...

    1... The more I think about the K Close.. the more I think if you hesitated then it was too late to K Close... a K close is less intimidating than an F close... The K Close to me seems like it's the for sure sign that you like the girl, I wouldn't worry about what she thinks about it. It's about what you want to say to her--and most of the time your body language is the best way to tell her how you feel.

    2... I think the friendzone isn't as constricting as I used to think it was. As I've been working on my inner game recently on top of gaming a girl for the last 3 weeks even though she's called me out on being a friend--I feel like I'm already breaking beyond those walls by giving her nicknames and slowly but surely sexually escalating via text (until I see her in person). Just because someone calls someone a friend doesn't mean they're friendzoned. Yes both genders can put someone there--but if that friend whose been zoned takes it upon themselves to demonstrate attractive value you can break through. I think friendzones exist much like when a girl says she's seeing a guy but doesn't mention that it's not serious. I think of it more as the most powerful form of a Sh!tTest. If I look at my situation I think If I dont' make a move within the next few weeks I'll be friendzone for sure--but since I've seen so little of her in person I'm half-way between an acquaintance and a friend knowing probably more than her friends do about her dreams and goals.

  4. #14
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 2nd date: do I need to k*close?

    I think I have learned my lesson after putting some thought into this. I am not attracted to this girl (or for that matter to any of the girls I have "dated" previously).

    When I am attracted to some girl, I do have this desire to kiss her and touch her. It just feels natural and it does not require any effort from me.
    I have not felt such a thing for this girl from yesterday, so it's probably a lost cause. If my body doesn't want her, I will never be compelled to flirt with her, kino her and kiss her. No amount of mental preparation can fill this void.

    So, all in all, I think I should not date for the sake of dating. I should go for girls with which I can act genuine and be comfortable.

  5. #15
    Kyl3's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2nd date: do I need to k*close?

    So, all in all, I think I should not date for the sake of dating. I should go for girls with which I can act genuine and be comfortable.[/QUOTE]

    Finally!!!!! Somebody who has seen the light & I didn't even have to tell him.

    Do to assortment theory you will end up dating these new girls that you're 100% comfortable in the long run anyways. So just enjoy the ride.

    If I could see you in person right now I'd give you the biggest pat on the back.

  6. #16
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 2nd date: do I need to k*close?

    Thanks, bro
    I really appreciate all the support from the community!

    And life moves on, I meeting another girl in the park today. We gonna play frisbee and badminton. Much better than sitting at some coffee shop


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