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  • 1 Post By artandale

Thread: Chased to chaser in a week. advice plz

  1. #1
    7sr33 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Chased to chaser in a week. advice plz

    Hey all, ive got a situation with a HB9, could really use some advice.

    Back story: met this girl, we hit it off right away, we go on 2 dates and shes all over me, initiated contact in some form almost everyday.

    AND THEN: Ill save the details and get to the point- drunk txted one night wasnt toooo bad but lost some value there.
    We had a date scheduled for 2 days later and there was a misscomunication (the nite before she said shell txt me "tomorrow" so i waited for that, while she "says" she was waiting for me to msg her). I became a little frusterated and needy and we reschedule to the next day but because of a previous plan she forgot about, had to flake.

    I have become the chaser and have lost my value. and it shows in our latest txt interactions (mildy responsive, indifferent)

    =should i freeze out? any advice how to go about it?

    shes physically attracted to me but has been turned off because of my latest AFC behaviour.

  2. #2
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Chased to chaser in a week. advice plz

    Can you provide some details?

    What did you drunk text her? What did you say when you became frustrated and needy? Can you post the latest text interaction?

    With some more details you can get a better answer as to where you may have gone wrong and what you can do to fix it/do better next time.

  3. #3
    7sr33 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Chased to chaser in a week. advice plz

    DETAILS:

    not wanting to appear needy i didnt try to hard to initiate text during the 10 day gap and was just going to kill it at the date. there became 4 days of no contact in which i then broke the ice with drunk text.

    the drunk texts were basically me using alot of slang unknown to her and her making fun of the way i talk. it wasnt toooo bad.
    pretty much all in jokes though. but im pretty sure she thinks im an idiot.

    i APPEARED needy when i rescheduled. hard to explain but u can feel it. probably the wording.

    But things seemed patched up.

    i BECAME needy the next day when a few hours after bailing on the rescheduled date, i texted trying to initiate pointless convo/ "reaching" for attention. which i was ignored completely all day but know she saw. we eventually had a very lame convo later in the night of about 3 msgs each ,me still "seeking attention" by asking " how was (her plans)" etc.. but also trying to let her know im not upset that she flaked. it ended with her asking what im doing, me telling her, and her not responding. even a day later. Its clear shes lost interest

    theres been silence between us for about 2 days. no apology about flaking and no attempts to be in touch.

    will a freeze out work? or will it push it further? is she waiting for me to reschedule?

  4. #4
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Chased to chaser in a week. advice plz

    Can you post the conversations or at least the main parts? All I can go off is what you think you did wrong..

    the drunk texts were basically me using alot of slang unknown to her and her making fun of the way i talk. it wasnt toooo bad.
    pretty much all in jokes though. but im pretty sure she thinks im an idiot.
    This doesn't actually sound too bad. It sounds like she may have been having fun with the conversation.

    There is nothing wrong with pointless texting, I use it all the time. It's just a matter of using basic texting rules: Stand out from all the other chumps messaging her and don't bore her to death!!

    It seems to me that you need to improve your text game. Maybe your texting's not congruent with who you are in person?

    I really don't think a freeze out is going to help your cause at this point but, again, it's hard to help without seeing the interaction. All we can go off is what you think you did wrong, and that kind of defeats the purpose of asking for help lol

  5. #5
    7sr33 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Chased to chaser in a week. advice plz

    Well actually, ive shown our recent text interactions to a few of my friends whom are mostly girls. and they dont think i went wrong anywhere, and the interactions didnt seem that bad. So her interest level may have simply dropped from lack of meeting up. its been over 2 weeks.
    it may be possible that she was a little upset about the failed meet up on tuesday because she was waiting on ME to msg her. And was all upset until that night until i actually did, in her mind it might be me that flaked on her. and so didnt feel bad about flaking on me the next day. Maybe putting it on me to reschedule again??

    our convos the day of the flaked reschedule had lots of "hahaha" and "lol" but they were short and werent that engaging. its only been 2 days since then though

    Would playing it off as no biggie and doing something casual like showing her smthing funny or a song on fbook to start momentum up again work? to get contact again without actually showing a ton of effort.

    We think pretty similar so im trying to analyze her possible perspective on it.

    OR she could just care less about whether i stay or go. We're both leaving the country in 2 months anyway

    only things i can think of is like a 1 week freeze out, or just be real, not running any mind games and say something like " soo we epic failed the other haha etc. etc.. and try to continue where we left off

    would like to get the bang in at least.
    advice apreciated

  6. #6
    denvernuggs is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Chased to chaser in a week. advice plz

    My last relationship went like this:
    girl was crazy for me and chased me like crazy, I too made a mistake, but it was much bigger than your drunk text, she tried to frame me as the chaser, I froze her out and then I lost her.

    Don't freeze her out. If you feel that the attraction/chemistry has been going down between you too, artificially decreasing the attraction/chemistry further does not work in my experience.

    I think you can keep the texting to a minimum and just charm her when you hang out with her next: be romantic, do KINO or whatever and basically give her the butterflies and act however you did when you first met her because that obviously worked as she used to chase you pretty hard.

  7. #7
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Chased to chaser in a week. advice plz

    Wow.. Your idea of details in regards to texts is ridiculous. You holding out on sharing with us is a clear sign that you're not even ready for this chick. You gotta be totally honest with yourself man if you're looking for advice. Get out of your head. Stop thinking freezing out actually works when you're not anywhere near any real established traction with this chick. You need to work on reading her signals because her not gettin the slangs or jokes from drunk texts and she still puts it on you sounds like you took zero responsibility. Be an adult and own up to your problem. Women do not want to date boys who avoid their problems and get thrown off course because they cant handle a little turbulance. Women want a man that can steer the ship through a freakn hurracane because she's going to have thise moments at least once a month.

    You need to do a lot or inner game soul searching here. You can't get advice if you can't be honest with yourself. I can tell you're only looking for logical solutions and you're not considering that you're going to need to do a lot of emotional repairing for that connection. Sure she's not heart broken but if she's flaking every thing you are throwing at her it means you're not communicating on her level. You're need to understand emotional connection and tension.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.


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