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Thread: Bimmer needs a repair, please service....

  1. #1
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    Bimmer is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Bimmer needs a repair, please service....

    Fella's it's been a while since I've graced my presence on a post lately, mostly because I have been in a serious relationship for the past 5 almost 6 months. I come to you as a former brother in the art of PU.

    I'll be direct ...

    I feel as if I have no control. Not just in my relationship, but in life. Literally all my life consists of is work, my gf, & one day a week with the buds; while work is great ($$$) and my girlfriend loves me to death, I still have an overwhelming feeling of doubt and sometimes insecurities. 6 months ago I was the farthest thing from these feelings. PU was my 24 hour hobby, I lived it, walked it, & studied it... confidence wasn't an issue, mostly because I had a great life (materialistically). The cars and watches and clothes and all the other bs that I psychologically rely on don't even matter now because my girlfriend loves me for the person I am. Unfortunately, I have a hard time loving myself. "Why?" is the question.

    Relationships are not my specialty. Getting dates? NO PROBLEM! Taking a girl home? I'll bet you $100 I can! Staying in a relationship with the girl that I love more than anything? ..... I hope so. An old friend in PUA has recently questioned if I have become comfortable, & I think he's onto something.

    Forgive the rambling, I suppose I just need to talk. I'm looking for long term relationship advice here fellas. Tips, tricks, & hints for keeping the relationship going. I'm also on the lookout for some personal advice anyone can give me based on what you have read.

    Thanks in advance, Bimmer.
    I wish I was little bit taller
    I wish I was a baller
    I wish I had a girl who looked good
    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC

  2. #2
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    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bimmer needs a repair, please service....

    i believe that once every year there is an emotional low that effects your mental state of mind--in some cases people act upon it rather than waiting it out to the end of the month to see if you still believe the way your mind is working. if you can hold out for a month and this problem persists i'd highly recommend talking to a qualified physician because the problem and the solution may vary.

    personally-- i go through a similar cycle about ever 4 months and then i get back into the swing of things--it's kind of a cycle. I know it's rough for me but i try to maintain my goals in my life that have always interested me no matter how far the dark tunnel may seem. eventually i'll break through. a few extra things that have helped me get out of such an emotional wreck is to change your routine. i do this often. i change the way i eat, the way i sleep and the things i do on my downtime. it helps me feel different because i'm choosing to feel different. i often feel like if i'm stagnant and i'm not changing anything the worse i'll be in the coming weeks. it's easy for all of us to get tunnel vision and not see everything from a bird's eye view--but hopefully this advice will have given you some ideas on how to problem solve a way out of your mental state without making any harsh decisions in your life. keep us posted!
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    CapPickup is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bimmer needs a repair, please service....

    I think you just miss the hunt. That's all.

    A fading alpha lion was once captured, He was so happy because In the zoo he has everything he wants and he don't have to work for it : food, water, chew toys, and sex but he felt there was still something missing.
    As days pass he felt caged and depressed even though he was with his gorgeous lioness partner. The zoo keeper saw this and decided to free the fading alpha lion into the wilds.
    The first thing the lion did was hunt gazelles and deers. He killed so many gazelles, that all the other animals feared him and all the lions praised him. He was soo happy again for the first time in years he felt power. He felt ALPHA. As days pass he felt caged and depressed...

    Basically my point is, it just got stale. I mean you got the car, the money, THE GIRL, the friends. There's no challenge anymore. Ask yourself "What is your passion/dream? What do you really want to do?" How stupid the answer might be. Go follow it.

    I wish you the best of luck Bimmer. May the force be with your game.

  4. #4
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bimmer needs a repair, please service....

    Ever heard of Maslow's hierarchy of needs? It has been debunked, reworked and updated by many but the hierarchy of things pretty much remain true in most aspects. Maslow hypothesised that we go through certain stages chronologically and once a stage is achieved, we move on towards the other. The stages are (from bottom to top):

    Physiological: Breathing, food, water, sleep etc. In short, the basics of survival and procreation.

    Safety: Security of body, employment, financial, property, family. In short, the security of our being and those close to us.

    Love/Belonging: Friendship, family, sexual intimacy.

    Esteem: Self-esteem, confidence, achievement, respect of/by others.

    Self-actualisation: Morality, creativity, acceptance of facts, pursuit of inner talent, philanthropy.

    Sounds to me like you've met the first 4 stages and you're in transition to the 5th. You've got a girlfriend that loves you, a good job, friends that respect you. The things you got into PUA to achieve have all been achieved so what now you ask yourself? Look into yourself. As others have said, follow some of those dreams you've forgotten. Travel and see the world, learn a new trade, volunteer for charity work. Pick up a new hobby and diversify. You've built a secure world for yourself and now perhaps look into experiencing others?

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