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  • 2 Post By Sleath5
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Thread: Trying to break out of the friend zone. Did I miss any hints?

  1. #1
    madmitch25 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Trying to break out of the friend zone. Did I miss any hints?

    So I've been bets friends with this HB9 for 4 years now. We've had times where she likes me and I always miss the clues or when I talk to her about it she denies it. A few months ago things blew up while I was away at school. Then we fixed it and basically had a thing for a week where she said she liked me and we talked about us. Nothing physical, not even a kiss. Then I went back to school and she said we should stay friends. Now I'm back in town for a year or maybe longer and we are still best friends. By the way, she can be a really awkward person.

    So she lives an hour away and she got into town tonight. At 10:45 I said let's go for coffee. She picked me up because I had a few drinks earlier (slight buzz going). The coffee store we usually go to (Tim Hortons) was being renovated. So she said to grab a blanket to sit by the lake. We ended up laying in her trunk with the seats down and talking. I said it would he comfortable enough to sleep in after a party. She said "Ya, you could totally hook up in here." the. She caught her self and said "I don't mean anything" but she laughed after.

    Should I have kissed her or said anything?

    She is one of my absolute best friends and things are really good between us right now, nothing is awkward. But she is the only girl that I could see myself in a really serious relationship with. I don't want to mess things up with her and lose her as a friend or make it awkward again but if I could be in a relationship with her, It would make me the happiest I've ever been. Just need some advice on whether I should have kissed her and how I should go about this if I want to try to be more than friends with her.

    Please help.

  2. #2
    Sleath5's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to break out of the friend zone. Did I miss any hints?

    I read a guide that was pretty good, called "Kyle's Comprehensive Guide to slaying the "Friend Zone"
    It should help, but be warned if you go for the relationship you may have to go all cards in - in other words risking your friendship permanently. If its going to make you the happiest man in the world though, that shouldn't be a problem then.
    It's not a task, its a pleasure. Enjoyment reached from strengthening the foundation, not a new coat of paint.

    Oh, and getting laid is pretty farking awesome too!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Trying to break out of the friend zone. Did I miss any hints?

    yeah read the guide--and the rest of the thread before you read any more advice on your thread---which i'm about to leave some... you've been warned.

    ----so my advice
    if you're willing to break it off i think your best be is to start showing some comfortable signs of kino. more than likely she's single right? so you don't have to run Boyfriend Destroyer tactics which is great. treat her like you would any girl that you're turning into a girlfriend the next time you hang out. escalate slowly applying light kino (this is touching arms, hands and her shoulder--this does not mean holding on to it) first working your way up to mild kino (touching small of her back, hip thrusts--things that would you would a guy with his girlfriend out in public kind of thing. this does not mean kissing). as you slowly escalate read her reactions--if she's giving you IOIs as you're planting your escalation you're getting good signs that she's accepting the kino and you have not hit a red light yet. keep escalating at a decent pace you're comfortable with in displaying your physical acknowledgement that she's a woman and you're a man. aside from all the kino it's important that you let her talk when you guys are talking--give yourself a few seconds to respond to anything. the reason for this is that you're slowly generating tension and this my friend is powerful. i actually did this yesterday while i was out in the field. by saying less you're actually putting her in a frame where she's starting to fill the void and trying to qualify her thoughts to you. this allows you time to lead the conversation to where you want it--and if you want you can start to think more about how you want to escalate or flirt with her verbally. again same rules of thumb apply--start light. let her set the tone as you're leading. her body language and IOIs will tell you how things are going. now--back to tension... its important to keep your eyes locked at her and have a look on your face that you know she wants you and you're just teasing her. this look should not be over done, just a slight subtle facial gesture and maybe tilt your head a bit so you come across as relaxed. the reason why your body language and your tension generating silence is important is because you're letting her feel your intention. see how she responds to it, if shes smiling a lot and and a little nervous with body language it means you've got the right kind of IOIs leading up to a kiss more than likely. if she makes a big deal about how you're acting and cracking jokes she's trying to Sh!tTest you or she really doesn't want anything to do with you. BUT if shes into now--nows the time to lock in that kiss by saying something like "would you like to kiss me?" or "I know what you're thinking" and move in for the kiss at the speed of a painful push up--if she really doesn't want it she'll back off and cause a scene of some sort. if she does want it cool.

    now if everything fails and she does make some kind of scene realistically you need to treat it like you saw a look on her face that said she's wanted to be kissed. this works to your advantage to some degree where she'll second guess herself for a moment. this will allow you to think of how you want to end this situation with her. do you want to still be friends? or do you want to put it all on the table as an ultimatum? personally if it hurts to not be with her and you know she's special to you and you don't want to regret it later in life i'd suggest you tell her how you feel without being needy. some where in your explanation of the ultimatum you have to say "We can't be friends. It's too painful to me to keep living a lie." in some way or another. you have to be clear that you're drawing a line.


    if you're not ready to end your friendship then you might as well be an orbiter who maybe one day when she's slightly thicker and worn she'll look at you and finally accept you. that might be a year--that might be 20 years... its up to you my friend.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Trying to break out of the friend zone. Did I miss any hints?

    She's been giving you hints non stop. Come on dude open your eyes.
    Specifically when she mentioned it'd be perfect for hooking up.

    Read my guide, & take a chance

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Trying to break out of the friend zone. Did I miss any hints?

    yeah my advice is to not confront the situation right away into an emotionally invested conversation--test the waters with kino. play it out. see how she responds. i can't agree more with what kyle said even though his is 20 times shorter than mine. LOL
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  6. #6
    madmitch25 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Trying to break out of the friend zone. Did I miss any hints?

    Thanks kyl3 and artandale. I'm fairly new to PUA. A friend told me about it and I've been trying to study it. The reason I wasn't sure if she was hinting or not was because she's got really high morals and she's a virgin. She always says that she wants to finish her degree before she gets into a relationship. I read your friend zone thread kyl3 and that helped me understand a lot of the situation. I'll give that kino a shot and will try to get some isolation again.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Trying to break out of the friend zone. Did I miss any hints?

    best advice i can give you in regards to kino is... every light is green until its red. if she hasn't stopped you you can keep going at a steady pace--don't jump right to her privates. she's still a person. just pay attention to how she responds.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Trying to break out of the friend zone. Did I miss any hints?

    Don't listen to what a girl says.
    Her actions are more important. I doubt she won't get into a relationship with Brad Pitt if he comes along before she finishes her degree.

    Always hug her when you first see her for at least 5 seconds tight. That should open kino right off the bat. I like to pick girls up when I'm hugging them. Not by the ass.

    Then light kino touches to there thigh, playful arm hits, grab her
    Arm if she's walking away to tell her something.

    Once you've established this, then escalate to prolonged touches to her thigh etc until the sexual tension is too much & you guys kiss.

    There's a lot that needs to be said.

    Light kino, plausible deniability, fun, good vibes, isolation, will be your key to hooking up.


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