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Thread: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

  1. #11
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

    Talk to her face to face if possible. And it should be when most convient. Face time is ok...
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  2. #12
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by artandale View Post
    Talk to her face to face if possible. And it should be when most convient. Face time is ok...
    i would much rather do it in person but we cant because of distance so i guess facetime it is...

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

    maybe do this over a small meal. i would try to keep 90% of your conversations with her in person so she knows you're serious. i'd try to leave that 10% to just arranging meet ups or a heads up on being late or cancellations. think about it, if she wants this to work you both can't repair it by text or technology. shes gotta see how much damage she does as well as you need to read her body language to see if shes telling the truth for what shes saying. meeting up in person sounds inconvenient--but its worth it. push for it.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  4. #14
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by artandale View Post
    maybe do this over a small meal. i would try to keep 90% of your conversations with her in person so she knows you're serious. i'd try to leave that 10% to just arranging meet ups or a heads up on being late or cancellations. think about it, if she wants this to work you both can't repair it by text or technology. shes gotta see how much damage she does as well as you need to read her body language to see if shes telling the truth for what shes saying. meeting up in person sounds inconvenient--but its worth it. push for it.
    its really incovenient, idk what to do, take a day off from work?

    if i do its not going to be for another week or so and idk if i can last that long..

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

    Damn T-Mal, you described everything I went through for the last 3 months. This girl was crazy! The worst thing about it all is that we work together. She was insane and I had to cut away on the 5th of May and I remember the day because I'll treat it like Independance day!!

    I woke up to a text around 2am with her saying she was going to kill herself and shortly after she said she saw a cat being run over and lying their dead. She called it a cruel world and she wanted to die. I quickly texted back with no replies so I had to get the fark out of bed and into my car. I drove to her place in slippers and pyjamas!

    I drove carefully near house worried I'd drive over the cat. There was no cat and she wasn't crying. We went to the park and talked for hours. I had work the next day! In hindsight, it was all horse manure and she needed attention. I drove like a moron breaking all speed limits and for what? A psycho?


    My advice is along the same lines with T-Mal, turn the opposite direction from her and run like the wind! Don't look back and just go. Don't carry her emotional luggage because they are not your problem. She's looking for attention and you give it to her. Whatever she went through may be true but at the end of the day if she won't give you a chance or even give herself a chance to happiness then why are you making it your fault?

  6. #16
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

    can you both meet half way at night sometime? i'm assuming you can find a park or a hike trail. sounds very date like--but its more about just meeting half way--and in your situation--its quite literal. see what her schedule is like and if she can meet you half way. let her know that you can facetime, but you'd rather hear what she has to say in person if shes going to say it. to her this should mean a few things--you're serious, you're willing to hear her out and theres a chance you can get back together. she'll think this--and if she's chasing you she'll try to adjust as much as she can if her schedule allows. if she can't come meet you at your place, tell her you're willing to meet half way--literally. so find an isolate place where you both can let your emotions fly.

    if you can't meet half way. keep contact at a minimum if you absolutely want to meet her in person and discuss this. don't be cold, but don't be too warm either.

    don't bend over backwards for her. i wouldn't recommend you calling in sick unless you can't function at work because of this emotional stress. honestly--she should be the one calling off work to see you. she should be dropping everything if she is absolutely serious. you're the one with the moral high ground. use it.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  7. #17
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

    So should I try to get a day off next week? And tell her to take the same day off so we can meet up? I already took off from work to go see her.

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

    ..........did you read what we've been saying at all?
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  9. #19
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by artandale View Post
    ..........did you read what we've been saying at all?
    Sorry, i didnt see your last post before I posted.

    But she texted me so I figured I'd bring it up that I want to meet withe her and talk with her so heres how it went...

    She was talking about how she just dropped a bunch of money on clothes and how she cant come see me now (in a joking way because she just spend so much money)

    Me: speaking of that can we meet up? i really want to talk to you, i dont want to do it through facetime

    Her: oh god im nervous
    Me: tomorrow night?
    Her: oh god that soon?
    Me: yeah is there a problem? you said you wanted to meet halfway somewhere
    Her: yeah but tomorrow im going to go see my brother
    Me: cant you leave sunday morning?
    Her: i could if you need to talk to me that bad
    Me: i know its inconvenient but id really appreciate it
    Her: is it something bad?
    Me: i guess well see when we talk
    Her: is it bad? i dont like this
    Me: i just want to talk to you, i miss you and want to see you in person
    Her: okay i just dont know if i can tomorrow babe
    Me: why not? i was thinking we can meet in __ its halfway for both of us
    Her: Just because I will go to you and then come back to my house and drive 3 hours to my brother and we have plans tomorrow night
    Me: id do it for you..hes your brother im sure hell understand. but if not tomorrow how about monday after work?
    Her: yes lets talk later about it


    I was thinking of saying "hes your brother he'll be in your life forever, i may not..."

    But that seemed too forceful the more i thought about it.


    Any Comments, recommendations, tips, pointers, 2 cents?

    Thanks guys.

  10. #20
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! Asking this girl to be my girlfriend?

    i think you handled it well. she's going to be nervous anyway. i think its important that you state your intent that you're not going to be angry, mean or judgey (in the manner of calling her names). this would help ease her tension. this way she expects a tone and it'll ease the nerves.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.


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