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  1. #1
    Euthanasia is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy What after divorce?!

    Hi guys !

    I married young my highschool sweetheart and we've been together for more than 20 years (as you can see, I'm an older guy in my 40's). Because of that, I never learned seduction game and skills, loved my wife dearly, didn't want to be with other (yeah, yeah, I know I'm stupid haha), but like every beautiful story, this one came to an end... Now, I'm alone, would like to find someone, but don't know where to start?

    I'm not a bad looking guy, work out regularly, 6'2'' tall, has a good job who allowes me to see some really beautifull women (city bus driver in Montreal, Canada), but honestly, I don't know how to start... I can't say I'm a most confident guy in a world and even if I find a courage to say something to someone, what to say?! I've got only few second to open up a conversation and honestly, have no clue what to say... And even if we start talking (happened few times), how to keep up a conversation, when and how ask for a phone number and on and on and on...

    Have some advice, guys? I would realy appreciate it.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Euthanasia is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What after divorce?!

    And where are all those "experts"??????????? ?

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What after divorce?!

    Welcome to the forums.
    A great place to start is here... (the newbie guide)

    And the search page

    I'm also in my early 40's and I can tell you that there is a TON of useful information here.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What after divorce?!

    That's a tough story, bro. Most AFC's didn't get anywhere in high school, or even college, so consider yourself lucky there. Along with a couple decades of a pretty well established relationship you have more experience (and are more comfortable) with women then you probably realize. You probably don't have as much approach anxiety, or AA, as most AFCs.

    My advice would be to read as much info on PUA as you can, as T-Mal suggested, starting with the newbie guide. At the same time, visit as many friends as you can in your free time to help hone your conversation skills. Pick up some hobbies and interests, and read as many interesting articles as you can to broaden your conversation topics. And be nice and friendly to everyone that walks onto your bus, not just the girls.

    hope that helps and good luck out there!

  5. #5
    Euthanasia is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What after divorce?!

    T-Mal, thanks for a newbie guide, I'll check it.

    Daffyff, yes, you are right, it's tough story... And you are right in another thing: I don't have as much AA as some other guys or when I was young. But I know where is my problem: I married too young and didn't have a time to learn all seduction skills and what I knew, after so many years, I already forgot, times changed, I'm not in same age bracket... And I'm not what you call "natural"...

    I'll give you an exemple. Few weeks ago, I went out with some friends of mine in some bar and there I saw, at one table, two beautiful women, alone, clearly in hunt. But problem is how to aproach them? What to say? How to keep going a conversation? You know, I can talk about nuclear physic and international politics, but small talk, I've got a problem with it. How to separate one girl? When and how to ask for a number? Those are all questions I asked myself that evening...

    In a same situation, what you will do (or anyone else)? I honnestly need some skills and your help...

  6. #6
    Euthanasia is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What after divorce?!

    Few month ago, I went on party of some friend of mine and I saw a girl... Omg, how beautiful she was!!! My ex was a beautiful women, but this one is gorgeus!!! With her, I could cross my ex without any problem... But she was with a guy (or that is what I was thinking because she was near one and was talking with him) and I decided to forget her. I'm not kind of guy who will mess with a girl in relationship: it's sacred for me. Anyway, I decided to mention that women to my friend, he winked at me and told me she is his sister-in-law (his spouses sister), she is actualy free, has 2 kids, but not in diepers (ado's) and is actualy looking for a guy like me, who has a kids, but older, doesn't want to be a nany or change a diepers haha ! And I was in Heaven... Month after that, another party at same place and SHE was there... I decided to go for all or nothing , took my chance and we were talking and flirting whole night... She sent me all the signs I know that she is interested in me and at the and, when she was leaving, I told her I would like to continue our conversation and she looked me streight in the eyes and told me "Yes, I would realy like that, too!". I was not on Earth any more and completely forgot to ask her for her phone number (stupid idiot...)... But I said to myself, not a big deal, she has a Facebook adress and I'll send her a friendship request and that's what I did: sent her a request with a short, joking message. But, after 2-3 days, no response... Doubt was rising in my head that something is wrong and maybe I missunderstood something... Bought a small gift for her and sent it by her sister (I've got a good relationship with her). Answer was: not my type... Can you imagine how I felt after that?! What a confidence killer is situation like that?! But life goes on and I know some other is waiting for me... It's just soo hard to forget that beautiful girl who was (almost...) mine... Have no idea what I did wrong...

  7. #7
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What after divorce?!

    You got all starry-eyed over her.

    And buying the gift before you even really know her is ALWAYS a bad move...It makes the woman feel like you're trying to buy her time / attention & that she's obligated to give you something in return.

    You need to just keep plugging away & get a little more experience & confidence.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  8. #8
    Euthanasia is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What after divorce?!

    T-Mal, thank you for your advice and yes, I know I screwed up somewhere, but probably it was even before a gift... I don't know, can't be sure, but got a feeling I was eliminated even before that for some reason... Probably, as one guy said, I was "betta" instead of "alpha". Have to learn more about it.

    And you are right, I need some more experience and I'm building my confidence more and more every day. We'll see...

    If you have some more advice for me, I'll realy appreciate it.

  9. #9
    Euthanasia is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What after divorce?!

    T-Mal, just finished reading your newbie guide and honnestly, I was laughing about myself (sorry, Euthanasia, that's true: you are still far away from alpha male, but you are going in right direction haha ). And one of the first things I found there was this (copy/paste):

    Don't spent money on a woman until after you have sex with her. Doing so is a way to reward her for her good behavior. For example, take her out for dinner after the first time you've had sex with her. Before that, don't spend more than a few bucks. Take her out for coffee or something inexpensive like that. But never say that you buy her something as a reward.

    And I said "OmG! They are talking about me and my situation with beautiful girl!" Yes, I screwed up, but I'll learn from my mistakes.

    Thanks again for a good advice!

  10. #10
    Euthanasia is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What after divorce?!

    OK, guys, what you usualy do with 2 girls in a bar? Do you approcah them and how? How do you keep conversation with both of them? How do you separate a one you like more from the another? Other things I have to know?

    Thanks !


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