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Thread: Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

  1. #1
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

    So I'm at my university working for the summer, and I ran into this girl. I was acquainted with her previously (we lived in the same dorm), but didn't really know her.

    I chatted her up a bit, and picked up her number. Later, over text, I said we should do lunch at certain day/time, etc.

    Was lunch the wrong option? I know the PUAforum's stance on lunch/dinner dates - they are too formal, not enough room for kino, etc., and I agree - but it was almost out of habit that I proposed lunch, and it might be too late to change plans >__>

    The bright side is that the lunch location is a bit of a walk away, so I can spend some time actually talking to her. In the future when meeting women I should probably do tea or something right? For the moment though, how can I make the best of a lunch date?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

    Lunch dates are fine.
    Just go somewhere where you can get a booth if possible, so you can sit next to her, rather than across from her.

    Don't get stuck in fluff talk about school or work. Those topics are dull & do NOT do anything for building attraction.

    But I've done plenty of lunch dates over the past 2 years, and they've been a lot of fun.
    The main thing to remember is to be fun, upbeat, confident & flirty!

    Act as if you've known each other for years... (assume familiarity) That helps make both of you feel at ease & the interactions flow much better.

    Also- Find out what she wants & order FOR her.


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  3. #3
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

    Sorry for hi-jacking the thread but I'm interested in your response T-Mal..

    I'm curious as to how you would go about assuming familiarity? Especially when on a first date when you're essentially getting to know someone. I have seen it mentioned a couple of times lately and it has piqued my interest.

    Also I can't quite understand the idea behind ordering for her. To me it sounds like you'd be treating her like a little kid that can't order for herself lol

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

    Assume familiarity means you act like you two are already friends & know each other. So you're more outspoken & aren't thinking about what to say or so... you just say whatever comes to mind & have fun.


    Ordering food FOR her shows that you can take the lead. Women LOVE IT when a guy is a leader. They also like feeling like they can be taken care of... even if it's little things.

    It's more about being a leader & chivalry.

    Like, opening doors for her... or walking on the outside of the sidewalk closer to the street & letting her be in the inside.

    Most guys don't think about those things. So when YOU do, it shows that you're different from all the other schmucks who just don't get it.


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  5. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

    T is so right, chivalry goes a long way ..... I can't tell you how many times I've opened the car door for girls and they will stand there with their mouths gaped wide open and when I ask them what's wrong they'll say that they can't believe it because no guy has ever opened a car door for them .... I usually follow it up with " well my dad taught me how to be a gentlemen" ..... the point is it doesn't hurt to be nice so open car doors, pull their chairs out at restaurants, hold the door open, carry shit for them ...... because girls really like that and it's the kind of man you should strive to be

  6. #6
    CapPickup is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

    An ALPHA will always be ALPHA whether it be lunch or a tea party. Never forget that.

    There's no difference you still have the 2 most important things in every date. YOU and the GIRL. You can kino the shit out of her anytime and anywhere except in her sleep.

    The only way you can make it better is by having fun. Do what you think is amusing. For example: Order a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich with beans for your lunch or a swirly cinnamon shake and see what happens.

    Don't be afraid to do dumb shit. As long as you believe that you're the shit you'll be fine.

    Good luck on that date.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    Just go somewhere where you can get a booth if possible, so you can sit next to her, rather than across from her.
    You can still sit next to her without a booth, although the booth does make it a lot easier. But I've gotten good responses from moving the chair across from her to the side of the table to be closer rather than face to face. It's a ballsy move with a clear message. The worst that will happen is the wait staff will ask you to move to the other side, to keep out of their way.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

    Don't do formal meal dates. While it can be done, it's not advantageous.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  9. #9
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

    Ah cool I think I already do this lol. It's similar to the whole not being outcome dependent or caring so much if you impress her or not. Or am I reading it wrong?

    I like the thought process of acting like you're already friends and know each other though. I think it can help get in a more relaxed mindset. I have a couple of D2's coming up so I will test it and see if it helps

    I've always been a big believer in chivalry yet never considered something like ordering her food FOR her to come under this category. I rarely do food dates but will have to keep this in mind and field test it.

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    Like, opening doors for her... or walking on the outside of the sidewalk closer to the street & letting her be in the inside.
    We actually had this discussion at the pub a couple of weeks ago (not the doors part lol, I would hope that's common knowledge) but I was starting to wonder if I was the only person that had ever heard of walking on the street side of a side walk when with a girl. It was funny, not one of them saw the point of it until they asked the table of the older guys who backed me up and then looked at them with disgust because they didn't know haha. One of them even turned around and said "you wouldn't be allowed anywhere near my daughter with that attitude!!".

    Thanks T-Mal and nice input from the others too

  10. #10
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Met a cute girl, got her out to lunch. Was this correct?

    I actually explained to my GF why I walk on the outside of the sidewalk... But I gave it a humorous twist too.
    I told her "It's for safety reasons... you never know when one of these parked cars may just jump up onto the sidewalk, so the further away you are, the better."

    Obviously she knew it was actually for MOVING cars driving by, but it's become our own little inside joke now.



    And definitely use the "food ordering" technique.
    You find out what she wants & then order for the both of you.

    And women would rather feel a little bit like a kid, being out with a MAN, rather than feeling like a MOM out with a kid.


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