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  1. #1
    Bobby I is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default When and how to break non contact with an ex

    Hey, so i was seeing a girl for 4 months, one reason or another i fell absolutely head over heels. Quite unusual for me if im honest, i dont normally care too much, which obviously always works...
    So we was taking it slow but obviously, i messed that up, got too heavy to soon, which i now realise, didn't help either that when she broke it off, i reacted like a little B***h. The only good thing i can see from it is the fact she told her friends how much she really liked me when we was seeing each other.
    So i read a few posts on here, went completely non contact, blew my facebook up with pictures of me and other women and really just try to use it to dhv without directing it specifically at her.
    I saw her out 4 weeks ago, said hi and bye, literally nothing else. But i did catch her looking at me twice, once when she was leaving a club, and the second time was in the next club, when i was leaving, with another girl,.just a friend however, we flirt alot. My ex doesn't know her at all so she would never know what she is to me..
    The main thing i want to know is how and when to break the non contact. And what do i do once i've broke it. Been with many women since her and i still only want her, no one else matters to me. Honestly never felt like this before which is truly the main reason i haven't a clue what im doing haha... Thanks, Bobbyj.

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: When and how to break non contact with an ex

    no clue why you froze her out... only freeze out if they're absolutely 100% into you and feel they need you in their life. freeze outs are only useful when you have attraction and she's giving you LMR... dont take any friend's advice and stop talking to her--you'll just end up screwing things up IF YOU WANT HER TO WANT YOU...

    since you've stopped talking to her completely it seems--the best thing you can do is befriend her. friend zone her. be flirty with everyone--including her. the more pressure you put onto yourself as the most sought out social guy--people can't ignore it. they're drawn to fun loving social people who make them feel great. be social with everyone regardless of looks or status. when you're with her be as flirty as you are with any girl but draw the line when she wants you to take it further and never make it a big deal if you make a move, don't make a move or you're called out on something--be honest and own up to what you want in front of them and make it obvious that it doesn't matter if you get what you want or not because you're still enjoying your life and how social you are with people.

    not only do people chase what they can't have, but the more that they know that you aren't effected by rejection and clearly still show signs of interest the more respect she'll have for you. you have to be clear to acknowledge the red lights she puts up--but assume everything is green until she says or does something that looks like she needs comfort and not sexual escalation. social proof will help you, but fearlessness in approach will be more effective especially when you hit a wall and pick yourself up again to build comfort and work again to surpass that wall.

    you need to look at what you want here and really treat everything as if you can walk away and that you're just being friendly and calling all the shots. be the most social person in your circle even if you share the same circle with her--make it all seem like nothing is a big deal and that you're still having fun in your life. i'd also suggest to work on your sexual tension you're implementing with her. apply light kino--but keep strong eye contact and control your tonality when speaking to her. i'd highly recommend a strong mix of direct and indirect signals for her so she gets the idea you're still interested but you're still pushing the line at a slow pace until she feels comfortable to accept.

    if all else fails, maybe its time to move on.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: When and how to break non contact with an ex

    The No-contact rule is more specifically geared towards after a break-up when you're trying to get her back.

    But it takes more than just going no contact, it requires you to work on yourself & become a better version of you.
    THAT is more important than being seen with other girls. At least at first.

    And you don't want to go overboard with the new women. Just become more social & be seen with FRIENDS... guys AND girls.

    When you project a fun, social vibe, you'll have better success all around... including when it comes to possibly getting your ex back.

    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

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