Losing Control Of My LTR
Hey guys, I know you haven't heard from me for a while but rest assured I'm lurking around often, keeping an eye on all of you.
Let's jump in. I'm in this LTR for more than 8 months now and nowadays I can openly observe that I'm losing control in the relationship. Slowly sliding down to beta state.
Mainly because I don't really know how to behave in a "committed" relationship, you know? Because, obviously, it's a lot different than some casual, short term relationship. It's way past "getting to know each other." You get to know way too much about each other, so she does know how to push my buttons. Anyways, I guess I just couldn't keep my solid alpha state for 8 months and got too comfortable instead.
Some of the main issues are:
- She doesn't initiate things a lot. Examples: she doesn't initiate sex talk, doesn't really text or call first, doesn't really put effort in organizing dates. (I mean, I like to be initiative but it's feeling a bit too much at this point, you know? We're in an LTR after all...)
- She doesn't let me to be upset with her. It's like she can't do mistakes. She apologizes once and suddenly everything is fine. And if I mistakenly raise my voice or something like that, when we are having an argument where she is the guilty one, she immediately turns it on me and suddenly I find myself apologizing. Painful even to read, yeah?
- She can say no to me but she can't say no to her friends. Which eventually results in her flaking on me to meet her friends just because she can't say no to them.
- She is not really open to change/trying new things. Self explanatory.
That's all I can think for now. I appreciate all the comments and advice.
Thank you pros.
It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.
It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.