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  • 1 Post By artandale
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Thread: Messed around last Friday, how do I get more? (bit of a long read)

  1. #1
    Thed78 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Messed around last Friday, how do I get more? (bit of a long read)

    Hey forum. Kind of-AFC (been studying and applying a lot of PUA theories and itís done wonders for my inner game) here in need of some advice from PUAs. I have a female friend (Who Iíll just refer to as Jennifer from here on out) Iíve known for 11 years. Used to have Oneitis for her bad, but got over it. Still carried a serious lust torch for her, and made no secret of that, especially after I got divorced early last year. Her, my ex-wife and I are all best friends, constantly hanging out and getting along great. I would put her as an HB9, though my criteria for attractiveness is a lot different then most menís. I imagine most guys on this forum would put her at 6-8, depending on personal taste. Sheíd always made it pretty clear that she wasnít into me, citing simply knowing me too long and the potential awkwardness of my ex and I still having sex and all of us being friends and all that. Until last Friday Iíd resigned myself to simply never getting naked with Jennifer and getting sexual.

    So after a really rough week for all three of us we all got together last Friday for drinks. We started playing Cards Against Humanity and turned it into a drinking game. We all soon had a decent buzz and the subject of sex came up. Jennifer started talking about how she was sick of guys who either didnít have a big dick or sucked at giving head or (mainly) were just plain selfish in bed and not willing to take a little extra time or instructions to please her.

    Suddenly my ex-wife spontaneously decided to become my wingman for the night and started talking me up, about how big I was and how great and unselfish in bed I was etc etc. even jokingly suggesting she pimp me out to her for the night. Jennifer made an off-hand comment how she was ďat that pointĒ and we returned to our game.

    So the night wears on, more booze is consumed, and comments keep being made here and there about the three of us doing something. We go outside and have a somewhat more serious talk where itís more or less agreed upon that if anything is going to happen, itís going to happen tonight. End of the card game comes, ex asks Jennifer what weíre doing, she stands up and says ďLetís do this.Ē

    We all three go to the bedroom, lights go out, Jennifer and I start making out, I take her clothes off and play with her body for a while before laying her on the bed (right next to my ex) and go down on her. About 6 minutes later she cums (loudly). I pat myself on the back (she mentioned that it usually takes guys 25-30 minutes to make her cum from head, if theyíre even willing to stick it out that long) and then move on to giving my ex head.

    Jennifer gets up and says sheís not sure if she wants to take it any further at that point. I tell her itís totally cool, weíll move at her pace and whenever she feels comfortable and ready, weíll move further. She compliments me on my tongue skills, saying I was ďREALLY good at thatĒ leaves and I resume giving my ex head.

    I want to avoid this becoming a proverbial elephant in the room so I call Jennifer yesterday to get a better idea of where her headís at with all this (and to see if Friday was more thanks to booze or if I have a chance of actually hooking up with her). She says sheís cool, nothing to worry about, and sheís open to more happening, but she thinks it best if itís just me and her, and if the mood strikes us both naturally. I suggested maybe if she has a rough day at work (we work together) she could take me home for some stress relief from my tongue/fingers/dick and she seemed receptive to that idea.

    My question to you all is this: based on this info, how likely is it that Jennifer is actually interested in doing more with me and wasnít just paying me lip service to something that she has no plans of continuing? What can I do to help ensure that her and I continue and eventually escalate to sex?

    Other tidbits of info that may or may not impact advice: Sheís 32, Iím 35, and have only ever been with my ex. Last Friday with Jennifer is literally the first sexual experience with another woman Iíve ever had. Iím very much out of Jenniferís usual male tastes, as she only dates/messes with black guys and Iím white. Her and I are extremely close and are open about how much the other means to us.

    Iíll gladly give any more info needed or requested. HUGE thanks to anyone that gives help on this one.

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Messed around last Friday, how do I get more? (bit of a long read)

    well i've never been in this situation before but the obvious things to me are as follows...

    don't make anything that happened a big deal. it was a casual situation. let her decide how things and where they should go. if she isn't avoiding you and still hangs around you it means she's still comfortable around you. you have to take the responsibility and make sure she doesn't feel like you're judging her, needing her or not normal around her. read her body language appropriately it'll tell you how you should proceed. her body language is more accurate than her words. always be social to her as much as you are being social to others.

    as for initiating from here on, i think you need to look for her subtle queues--mainly eye contact and boredom. if she gives you a lot of eye contact start to move in and slowly escalate. if she is bored--be friendly with light kino and see how she responds.

    ultimately she is nothing new compared to any other girl you're trying to escalate with. forget the fact that you've already seen her naked and made had some sexy time. acknowledge it but its not important. what's important is what you want and where you wanna go. when she's open and comfortable with your presence show your intent through eye contact and a smile. let her be the first to break eye contact. the thing you need to remember is that shes still a woman you're trying to get to know.

    i'd give you more but to be honest i think this forum has more specific details that could aid you. you just need to get her out of the mind set that she's different than any other woman.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    Sleath5's Avatar
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    Default Re: Messed around last Friday, how do I get more? (bit of a long read)

    There's an off chance that an experience that happened to me could happen to you in this situation.

    It is possible to get caught in a weird twisted cross between friend zone and Fark Buddy... think of a Great Dane crossed with a Weiner dog trying to swim across the Pacific backwards.

    As it stands, you both get naked, have a bit of foreplay, pleasure her, and the experience is done. Your next encounter will hopefully have her pleasure you. However, if that doesnt happen you may suddenly become her newest toy in the box under the bed (if you know what I mean). Part of sex or even a relationship is you both reciprocate a feeling towards each other... this goes down to the most basic level. If your missing that, then its not going to be sustainable.

    Get something from her, a handie or a BJ or whatever you want, but make sure she gives or atleast tries to give you the same amount of pleasure that you have to her. If she doesn't, you need to do something about it fast. What happened to me is I didn't, and after the 3rd or 4th time I lost all pleasure and attraction to the girl and literally felt used. It sucked. Don't let it happen to you.

    The boys around here can help you with specifics, and the forums if you browse, but take my advice lol and dont become her newest toy.
    It's not a task, its a pleasure. Enjoyment reached from strengthening the foundation, not a new coat of paint.

    Oh, and getting laid is pretty farking awesome too!

  4. #4
    Thed78 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Messed around last Friday, how do I get more? (bit of a long read)

    Quote Originally Posted by artandale View Post
    well i've never been in this situation before but the obvious things to me are as follows...

    don't make anything that happened a big deal. it was a casual situation. let her decide how things and where they should go. if she isn't avoiding you and still hangs around you it means she's still comfortable around you. you have to take the responsibility and make sure she doesn't feel like you're judging her, needing her or not normal around her. read her body language appropriately it'll tell you how you should proceed. her body language is more accurate than her words. always be social to her as much as you are being social to others.

    as for initiating from here on, i think you need to look for her subtle queues--mainly eye contact and boredom. if she gives you a lot of eye contact start to move in and slowly escalate. if she is bored--be friendly with light kino and see how she responds.

    ultimately she is nothing new compared to any other girl you're trying to escalate with. forget the fact that you've already seen her naked and made had some sexy time. acknowledge it but its not important. what's important is what you want and where you wanna go. when she's open and comfortable with your presence show your intent through eye contact and a smile. let her be the first to break eye contact. the thing you need to remember is that shes still a woman you're trying to get to know.

    i'd give you more but to be honest i think this forum has more specific details that could aid you. you just need to get her out of the mind set that she's different than any other woman.
    We hung out a little bit today and she acted every bit the same as she ever had, so comfort is no problem it seems, which is good.

    And I'll try to keep an eye out for her body language and eye contact. I've always noticed she rarely keeps eye contact with me for too long when we're talking, and this was long before last Friday. I've tried triangulation on her before but gave it up, should I renew my efforts?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sleath5 View Post
    There's an off chance that an experience that happened to me could happen to you in this situation.

    It is possible to get caught in a weird twisted cross between friend zone and Fark Buddy... think of a Great Dane crossed with a Weiner dog trying to swim across the Pacific backwards.

    As it stands, you both get naked, have a bit of foreplay, pleasure her, and the experience is done. Your next encounter will hopefully have her pleasure you. However, if that doesnt happen you may suddenly become her newest toy in the box under the bed (if you know what I mean). Part of sex or even a relationship is you both reciprocate a feeling towards each other... this goes down to the most basic level. If your missing that, then its not going to be sustainable.

    Get something from her, a handie or a BJ or whatever you want, but make sure she gives or atleast tries to give you the same amount of pleasure that you have to her. If she doesn't, you need to do something about it fast. What happened to me is I didn't, and after the 3rd or 4th time I lost all pleasure and attraction to the girl and literally felt used. It sucked. Don't let it happen to you.

    The boys around here can help you with specifics, and the forums if you browse, but take my advice lol and dont become her newest toy.
    I don't see that as being a huge issue if things continue. She's always given indications that she herself is really unselfish in bed. Which is part of why she's so frustrated with the selfish guys she sleeps with.

    Which evidently works in my favor lol.

  5. #5
    Thed78 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Messed around last Friday, how do I get more? (bit of a long read)

    So an update to the situation. I'm going to be taking my kids over to her place this Friday night and we're all going to spend the night. So once all the kids are in bed, her and I will be alone. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen Friday night.

    That being said, any pointers to help make it happen? There are some things I know to do, like kino of course. I plan on finding an excuse to offer her a back massage (she has sung praises of my back rubs before), and I'm going to try to look out for IOIs. Are there any good kino escalation techniques anyone would suggest? Also what kind of IOIs should I be on the lookout for in particular, given the history and situation?


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