Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 10 of 10
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By artandale

Thread: It doesn't matter. I'm terrified.

  1. #1
    ShortStuff is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 305, Level: 6
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 45
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    68
    Points
    305
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
    Rep Power
    17

    Default It doesn't matter. I'm terrified.

    The past year has been interesting for me. In that time, I've discovered my talents, jumpstarted a new career, and learned a lot about socializing well and developing a good personal vibe. Every day, I get physically stronger and expand my knowledge. My value has skyrocketed compared to where it was and only continues to go up. I have memory after memory affirming that I can entertain and attract and bond with women that I like.

    But before I get too far up my own butt, there are two critical flaws that I can't deny and that I know will always be an obstacle to going where I like socially and sexually.

    Fellas, I'm terrified of people. Taller, stronger, more charismatic men. Pretty women. My memories tell me that I'm solid on my own, yet my feelings tell me that I'm an ugly, creepy loser who could never compare to other men or prove his worth to women. You will be rejected, goes the inner weasel, and even if you aren't, you'll just lose her again.

    I'm insecure. I'm scared to approach and scared to continue trying at the first sign of trouble. My vibe gets thrown off, I make everyone's day worse, and I feel like I don't deserve to call myself a man. I know it's irrational, I know it's all in my head, and yet I feel as though I can't change a thing about it.

    All the things I have changed about me, that I could still improve, feel like they amount to relatively little in the way of obtaining a fulfilling life; that to me, they were just minor obstacles I'd never ultimately have a problem with. Fear and self doubt are together my real Achilles heel, my only stumbling block to happiness and the first things to overcome to gain anyone else's respect or attraction, and they feel insurmountable.

    I'm the awesomest wuss I know. And I'm at the end of my rope. How can I fix it?

  2. #2
    rogerpaul1234 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 292, Level: 5
    Level completed: 84%, Points required for next Level: 8
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    40
    Points
    292
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    16

    Default Re: It doesn't matter. I'm terrified.

    There is a book that helped me..Change your Life in Seven Days by Paul Mckenna. It might help you. It is a mixture of hypnosis and NLP

  3. #3
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,719, Level: 43
    Level completed: 85%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 53.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    820
    Points
    4,719
    Level
    43
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Rep Power
    238

    Default Re: It doesn't matter. I'm terrified.

    My suggestion is use strip clubs to work out your game. I used them as practice during college to work on my kino, rapport building and developed a strong ability to say no to things on the surface level like looks and sex appeal. I like all those things but ive learned to control it. My comfort with women is pretty high. The only part now that im actively seeking to improve is physical and verbal escalation in tandem with each other. Your goal with women is to just be friends--the way you go about making friends is what should really lure in women to want to be with you. By that i mean you need to have your personality shining in its truest form with confidence and assertiveness knowing that you are fun to be around which is exciting. Build up at strip clubs first because you need to stop seeing women as something difficult yo handle. Because these clubs are solely focused on your money--you have the right to tell a girl no and that you want a dance with another girl.the game in the strip club is much more direct and less about someone being attracted to you and more about you both know what you want--its all about both people playing their cards right.

    My personal thoughts on spending $$$ on a stripper is that its worth it if you make it about the experience and take everything in as a learning curve. If you dont know what its like yo have a woman touching you or sexually teasing you then you're going to miss out on knowing how you best interact with someone you love later who is teasing you. Just because its a lap dance doesnt mean you cant touch them--its just where. Remember to treat every light as green and slowly escalate till there are red signs.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  4. #4
    CapPickup is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 971, Level: 16
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 29
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    129
    Points
    971
    Level
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    46

    Default Re: It doesn't matter. I'm terrified.

    You're being a bitch, get over it.

    Understand that not everybody will like you. You're a farking ugly creepy loser because you make yourself like that. Don't make it hard for yourself, everything is so simple yet we do our best to make it as complicated as it can be.

    Scared to approach? Then go out and approach.
    Scared to continue at the first sign of trouble? Enjoy difficult situations.

    Go in front of the mirror and look at yourself. Now that's all you have. There are two choices :
    1)cry like a little bitch
    2) Realize that's what you have been given by the universe and it's your mission to improve it and make the best out of it.

    Enjoy the process. Enjoy talking to women. Enjoy their reaction when they are weirded out by your actions. Enjoy every single situation that has been thrown to you because someday you're gonna be old as shit and you're gonna miss it.

    Open your brain tank bro here it comes : "The fear of failure is a lot worse the failure itself."

    "I don't deserve to call myself a man" you're right, you don't.
    If you don't start taking action your d1ck might fall off and you may start growing lady parts. Your call.

  5. #5
    ShortStuff is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 305, Level: 6
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 45
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    68
    Points
    305
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
    Rep Power
    17

    Default Re: It doesn't matter. I'm terrified.

    Quote Originally Posted by CapPickup View Post
    You're being a bitch, get over it.

    Understand that not everybody will like you. You're a farking ugly creepy loser because you make yourself like that. Don't make it hard for yourself, everything is so simple yet we do our best to make it as complicated as it can be.

    Scared to approach? Then go out and approach.
    Scared to continue at the first sign of trouble? Enjoy difficult situations.

    Go in front of the mirror and look at yourself. Now that's all you have. There are two choices :
    1)cry like a little bitch
    2) Realize that's what you have been given by the universe and it's your mission to improve it and make the best out of it.

    Enjoy the process. Enjoy talking to women. Enjoy their reaction when they are weirded out by your actions. Enjoy every single situation that has been thrown to you because someday you're gonna be old as shit and you're gonna miss it.

    Open your brain tank bro here it comes : "The fear of failure is a lot worse the failure itself."

    "I don't deserve to call myself a man" you're right, you don't.
    If you don't start taking action your d1ck might fall off and you may start growing lady parts. Your call.
    This is pretty much my inner monologue exactly. It doesn't help.

  6. #6
    Othello the Great's Avatar
    Othello the Great is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 3,170, Level: 34
    Level completed: 80%, Points required for next Level: 30
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    86
    Points
    3,170
    Level
    34
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    133

    Default Re: It doesn't matter. I'm terrified.

    Look up JulienFreeTour video on Approach Anxiety Antidote.

    Your problem is that you expect to wake up one day a complete alpha male with no ounce of Approach Anxiety.

    It will be there everyday and you will continually feel like poo until you do something about it.

    What do you expect us to tell you some magic secret or inspirational quote that changes you? I wish it was that easy. It takes practice. Like learning every skill it takes hours and hours of in field practice to get good. Results could come quickly or take a while but they do come with commitment.

    Nobody on here can truly help you. What's knowledge without application? If tell we you the necessary steps to make yourself feel better (which others have) you'll complain how you "can't" and that you are too scared.

    You don't want the REAL answer, you just want to hear what you want and what is EASY.

    I'll leave you with this. I believe I got the concept from one of the RSD instructors (probably Julien or Tyler).

    Now that you know about pick up it will always be in your mind. Even if you can never force yourself to approach you will know that you could be doing something about it. So you can capitalize on this new wealth of knowledge OR you can let it haunt you for the rest of your life. Your choice.

    So since you're terrified just stay terrified. Spend the rest of your life terrified. Waste your life being terrified of expressing yourself to "stronger men" and "pretty women. That's what you are comfortable with. Don't stress out and stay comfortable. It only affects you. The only person missing out is you.

    But we know you don't want that. So you know what you have to do...

    Just some honest words for you.
    Stop Thinking,Start Living!

  7. #7
    Fire Eater is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,364, Level: 20
    Level completed: 64%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    209
    Points
    1,364
    Level
    20
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    69

    Default Re: It doesn't matter. I'm terrified.

    Don't think you're the only who feels that way. Trust me, most people aren't thinking that way about you because they are busy thinking about what other people are thinking about them. I think we've all been there at some point. Even Style and many top PUAs felt the same way when they first started.

    I didn't think I was attractive even when my stepmother's father said to her I was the best-looking of both my father's and stepmother's sons (his grandsons), one friend who was an older guy said I was reasonably good looking, a girl said at the school cafe that she had been watching me a lot and thought I was adorable, another on the school shuttle bus initiated the conversation saying she watched me deadlift at the school gym and a girl (a bit drunk) said I was beautiful. I thought they didn't get out much, he said "reasonably", she was drunk and he was a guy looking at a good picture of me, but then I realized it was not them but me.

    The opinions of your friends and people who know outnumber your lone opinion. They know what a great guy you are, and maybe it's time you listened to them.

    To tell you the truth I am still a bit apprehensive about meeting people as well. Yet, I went out anyway, and found that the worse case scenarios never actually happened when I met people, no one told me to buzz off or go away. I am tall and workout, but there are other people taller and physically stronger out there. Yet, that doesn't make me of less value. Nobody's perfect, and I don't think there is any such thing.

    If you focus too much on the bad you miss out on the good. I think it is going to take some time to get over.

    CapPickup, I don't think you are being helpful by calling ShortStuff a little b@$%!.

  8. #8
    CapPickup is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 971, Level: 16
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 29
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    129
    Points
    971
    Level
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    46

    Default Re: It doesn't matter. I'm terrified.

    Quote Originally Posted by ShortStuff View Post
    This is pretty much my inner monologue exactly. It doesn't help.
    Because you're not taking action or you don't believe it hard enough. Everybody wants you to improve your game, even the ladies. You're the only one who's against it.

    Alright, Go out and then talk to girls. fark results, fark reactions, fark getting the girl the important thing is you approach. Don't think just do. It is actually really fun going out and meeting different kinds of people, it's not as hard as you think it is. You'd be surprised.


    Oh and btw, Approach Anxiety never goes away, you just get used to it and probably someday even long for it

    Fire Eater- haha nahhh He's not that sensitive

  9. #9
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,728, Level: 24
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 72
    Overall activity: 80.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    301
    Points
    1,728
    Level
    24
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts
    Rep Power
    87

    Default Re: It doesn't matter. I'm terrified.

    Quote Originally Posted by CapPickup View Post
    You're being a bitch, get over it.
    Everyone is here for friendly advice. Go ahead and post stuff like this, but don't expect anyone else to help when you need it.

    This sh1t ain't easy. If it was it wouldn't be worth having.

    It's a long, tough road. I used to struggle with Social Anxiety myself. Hardcore. So much in fact that I used to not be able to take notes in class because I was shaking so much thinking the person next to me couldn't stop thinking how pathetic of a human being I was. You have to work on your inner game. Self-esteem, assertiveness, confidence, self-awareness; all things you need to refine before you can move out and start talking to women.

    This whole game thing has a completely flipped innuendo to it. The idea isn't to get good at picking up women so you can bring happiness to your life. The idea should be to find happiness and satisfaction, and let the good looking women be a reward of that. If your unhappy in general, having a good looking girlfriend is only going to be a small band aid. And if she leaves, your going to be 2 steps further back than where you started. You have to find some solace in yourself first. There are literally so many things you can do to improve yourself that I'm not going to bother listing here, but you need to take a step. Start with some books that will help with your inner game. Then go out, and start doing things that your afraid of. That will build some serious self-confidence.

    One thing that has helped me incredibly is joining a Toastmasters organization. Find one and do that.

    It ain't easy bro, it's not going to be. But it will get better with practice. Everything does, how did you learn how to ride a bike?... think about it.
    You don't need her

  10. #10
    Jae102 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 262, Level: 5
    Level completed: 24%, Points required for next Level: 38
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    86
    Points
    262
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    18


Similar Threads

  1. Terrified of Change
    By Dizzy Dane in forum Members Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 10-29-2013, 09:12 PM
  2. Do Looks Matter
    By 0Rooster0 in forum Isolating And Pulling
    Replies: 17
    Last Thread: 03-30-2013, 04:16 AM
  3. Age, does it matter?
    By mackdaddyjacK in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 02-11-2013, 11:01 PM
  4. Does age really matter??
    By Desire911 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 8
    Last Thread: 07-24-2012, 10:21 AM
  5. A previous aphobic person is now terrified.
    By Chime in forum General Questions
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 04-17-2012, 04:25 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com