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  1. #1
    PD123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Online - phone game & playing hard to get

    trying to hangout with an HB8 i started talking to on tinder

    we made plans to hang one night and it was good she gave me her address and after i was off work i was like 'hey i'll be leaving in 15 seeing you in a bit'

    then she hits me back saying she got called into work which was bull because she posted up on snapchat a pic of her hanging with her friend lmao, so i said 'hey if you don't wanna chill you can just say so idc' (didn't mention snapchat of course) and then she didn't hit me back so i said:

    if you want me to chase you i'm not your guy, so if you're interested in me call me this weekend, if not then nice talking to you"

    then she texts me saying 'i was at work why are you giving me attitude'

    so i don't respond and then this morning she says

    i guess it was nice talking to you, i was called into work at 8 it isn't my fault and i don't like when people are rude to me for no reason if i didn't want to chill with you i wouldn't of invited you to my house and i have better things to do than lie about wanting to chill with you

    so i said don't take it the wrong way i think you're pretty chill (idk trying to push pull)

    she says well you don't need to chase me, then we talk about how texting is shitty and i say i'll call her after a shower and she's like alright

    so i call her, no answer, i don't try to contact her after that

    thoughts? thanks for the help

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Online - phone game & playing hard to get

    Ive tried calling out chicks before--its always a bad move but its a good move if you know how to calibrate it afterwards knowing you went too far. Half of the time it depends on the type of girl you're calling out. If you've got enough attraction she'll want you to ease up while being offended. I usually blow things out of porportions so she can know i dont like to be thrown for curve balls.

    In your situation you handled it poorly with freezing her out. Never freeze a girl out unless its LMR.... When you fail to respond to a girl she thinks you're calling it off and ignorig her feelings. You might have been right to stand up for yourself with her snap chatting but you never gave her a reason why. You just came off as frustrating to her. Technically she did nothing wrong. All that happened was that you assumed her situation without the benifit of the doubt.

    Your last half of your explaination reads as confusing to me so im goingto ignore the details till you explain in details.

    What i do believe you should do from here is leave her a message, something that she can respond to in her own time. You best way to get her to talk to you is to address her as an adult. Explain yourself. Be honest and own up to your faults as much your expectations. If you've neer met anyone from tinder or dating site and say it was nerve racking tell her you've been stood up before and its just not a great experience to go through emotional rollercoasters. Saying something like this justifies your reaction but it doesnt justify how you treated her. So apologize for that. Maybe offer your apology with the first round of drinks... You goal now is to get her to be comfortable and regain the attraction there because you showed some major flaws in handling a curve ball that life will always do to you in any situation.

    Again for me i blow things up so i can fix it again. I call people out and rebuild the foundation because most of the time i don't know them. Maybe for you next time... Don't blow things out of the water but let her know you'll be wanting to hear about why she flaked...
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Online - phone game & playing hard to get

    The snapchat pic she uploaded could have been from another day, and she could have posted it on her break or during a slow period. You jumped to your conclusion too quickly. Don't always assume worst-case scenario. Try to explore other possibilities for her behavior in the future before assuming its because she's not interested.

    Also, your talk of ending the relationship ("nice talking to you") is a vast overreaction. I would only bring up that possibility when she's done something inexcusable, and AFTER you have given her the benefit of the doubt (which you didn't do). Early in the relationship, the goal is to be fun, flirty, and light-hearted, and talking about ending the relationship is literally the worst possible thing to do in acheiving this. So thats just a couple tips to keep in mind for the future.

    As for right now? She didn't answer, so thats a pretty bad sign. I would try again tomorrow morning, and if you get another no answer, move on. If she does answer, pretend like the misunderstanding never happened and focus on having a FUN conversation. If it goes well, you can probably get another date set up.

  4. #4
    Will E. is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Online - phone game & playing hard to get

    You were being too reactive to her not responding to you. She definitely has interest in meeting with you, otherwise she would not have given you her address. You are in recover mode but you can still try to set up another date to meet up

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Online - phone game & playing hard to get

    Yes you analysed her too much and who cares what she posts. It's irrelevent and your not a detective. What you should have done is gone out with your mates and said 'No problem, I'm out here at this place, we can meet later' rather than pussying out and throwing the control into her court and ending the relationship. If she is busy the whole night at work then just keep chatting as normal next few days full of fun...she will likely re-initiate herself or wait for the right moment to pounce again.

  6. #6
    Bimmer's Avatar
    Bimmer is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Online - phone game & playing hard to get

    I understand where you're coming from with the snapchat shenanigans. At the same time, you didn't give her a reason for feeling like she blew you off (you probably wouldn't have felt that way had you not seen her snap). Secondly, you should NEVER let her on to thinking that she was your only option! Like whitedragon said, playing it off by going out with your dudes is the best way to handle the situation, & let her know that you're having fun! Bottom line.. lesson learned haha.
    I wish I was little bit taller
    I wish I was a baller
    I wish I had a girl who looked good
    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC


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