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  1. #1
    Wolf24's Avatar
    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Questions About Jealousy and Trust

    How can you trust your partner fully? I wonder, I feel like I can't fully trust my girl. And this thought comes from my behavior, not hers.

    Let me explain... I'm used to tell small lies to my girl, especially when I need some alone time, some personal space. It should be natural you know? Everyone needs some alone time every once in a while. It shouldn't require to tell lies to get it. Even when you're happier with your partner, you need that personal space and I often need to lie to get it, because my girl gets offended when I say I need my alone time for a couple hours. So as she gets offended, I started to tell small lies, like I'm gonna go to sleep early or gonna take a long shower...

    She's okay with this, I thought I was too, but turned out I'm not... If I'm telling these small lies, why won't she? How can I be sure that she'll get so used to telling lies, she'll start telling bigger lies eventually? See my confidence drop there? See what I did to myself? I can't figure out a way with this. What's the essence of pure, complete trust?

    ---

    How about jealousy? I love when my girl gets jealous of me, it boosts my ego, it's a unique way for me to observe her affection towards me, but when I get jealous of her I go crazy.

    For example, one of my female friends texted me while we were together with my girl. She saw the text and went jealous-bomb. I loved it, I loved the thrill, I felt like 2 babes fighting over me. On top of the world.

    But I think of the worst. Yesterday her ex liked one of her facebook photos and this time I went nuts. Over a freakin' meaningless facebook like! I mean, I should know I'm the sh1t. I'm the one farking her, I'm the one who she loves. But once another dude gets into any kind of interaction with her, I'm thinking like "nah man she's mine, you aren't even allowed to look at her." What is wrong with me?

    I feel like I might get many different opinions on these subjects so, fire away bros.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  2. #2
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Questions About Jealousy and Trust

    A past girlfriend once made me realize that true alpha males don't get jealous ..... Jealousy is an AFC emotion

  3. #3
    Wolf24's Avatar
    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Questions About Jealousy and Trust

    Quote Originally Posted by drgnsfire12 View Post
    A past girlfriend once made me realize that true alpha males don't get jealous ..... Jealousy is an AFC emotion
    Please elaborate a bit more, I'd like to construct a logical reasoning to not become jealous, not just because alpha code tells me to...
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  4. #4
    Ivo's Avatar
    Ivo
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    Default Re: Questions About Jealousy and Trust

    That is some good topic. jealousy is a very nasty thing. It is like aggression and fear...very hard to handle. I think that when one woman want something to "shake" her a little bit she will eventually find some man to f*ck with despite the guild or the desire for more after that. So no mater how bad you feel your jealous actions can only make her think about that even if she didn't do it before. And when she begin to think it could happen. But if you don't feel jealous at all she will consider this as a sign you don't like her anymore and you don't care about her because you have another one. Women...hard to understand . Stalking her on Facebook or else for sure is a big trust breaker. Consider this option to "unfollow" her posts, this way they will not tease you popping in front of your eyes. But think of some serious reason if she find out that you are not her follower. And these stuffs with long showers and else... I think that she knows that you are lying but she understand. This is one thing I feel so hard to use to in one relationship: the need to tell where I will go and what I will do. That's why I don't get in relationships for now But if I were you I would do some activities which don't include her. See like football game. Most of women don't enjoy games like this so we men use this to separate. Think of some other stuffs that only you or you and your friends will do it. This will be either more happy time for you, and private time without her.

  5. #5
    CapPickup is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Questions About Jealousy and Trust

    Ask yourself why are you jealous? Because you love her? Naaahhh. Jealousy comes from fear. Fear of losing someone.

    Think of it like tthis. Everytime a guy likes her photo or hits on her you should feel a sense of power. Laugh at them. AMOG them in your mind. Use your imagination.

    It's all just in your head, you should solve it from there.

  6. #6
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Questions About Jealousy and Trust

    One of the characteristics of an alpha male is that he is always composed. An alpha male never loses composure, he is always himself, thoughtful and calculated. He won’t be carried away in emotional spasms so there is no room for jealousy and insecurity.
    A Beta male gets jealous really easily when he sees his girl talking or flirting with another guy and will often make an ugly scene when he goes over and tries to pull her away, an Alpha male is supremely confident in his ability and status. If his girlfriend is talking to other guys, he goes to talk with other girls. He laughs at the thought of his girlfriend choosing another guy over him and in the unlikely event that a woman leaves an alpha, he simply loves that there are millions of other girls just as good or better than the girl who dumped him. His life is not centered around one girl, and he has no problem moving on.Bottom line is that nothing good has ever come out of being jealous, it's an emotion we should try to eliminate from our lives

  7. #7
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    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Questions About Jealousy and Trust

    mehhhhhhhhhhh...

    personally i think it's healthy to FEEL jealous. what's important is how you respond to it. there is never a perfect way to handle any situations--just different scales of good or bad. in my personal opinion i think jealousy is good for a relationship because you can now gauge your partner and either push or pull them from there to gain attraction and affection. the big important thing is to acknowledge it and use it to build upon your relationship and interaction. its ok to feel it--but don't make harsh decisions based on your feelings. your feelings are there to protect you. you have to evaluate them properly to see the worth of the situation you're in.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  8. #8
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Questions About Jealousy and Trust

    I think small portions of jealousy here and there are good for a relationship. It prevents you from getting too complacent with having each other. i.e, you won't take having her for granted, and she won't take you for granted either. Why? Because jealousy reminds you that there are other men out there who find your girl attractive. That feeling may make you uncomfortable, but I personally have grown to embrace it, because it makes me want to become the best man I can be in order to have her (continue to) recognize me as better than those other guys. The same applies to you, and it looks like you've recognized the benefits of your gf's jealousy towards you already.

    This whole "alpha males dont feel jealousy" is pure BS. There is not a human being on this planet who would not become even slightly affected at seeing another man hit on their girl. If someone you're dating is getting hit on and you don't care whatsoever, you either don't care for her that much, or you're emotionally inept.

    Try not to view jealousy as something inherently bad. Large amounds can be dangerous, but in small doses, I find it beneficial at bringing a spark to the relationship. If I was in your position and saw that guy like her photo, I would respond by giving her the best head she's ever had that night. I would sex her so well, she would laugh at even the *thought* of that other guy.

  9. #9
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Questions About Jealousy and Trust

    Jealousy destroys relationships and makes you miserable. Jealousy is not about love and the preservation of a relationship, but all about control. Most psychologists will tell you that jealousy is a sign of a dysfunctional relationship. If you need jealousy to remind you not to take her for granted then you have issues. But, if you want to go around feeling insecure, fearful, paranoid, and untrusting of your partner every time she talks to a guy have at it. Those are very attractive qualities most girls would be attracted to ..... LOL

  10. #10
    Naughty Napoleon's Avatar
    Naughty Napoleon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Questions About Jealousy and Trust

    Hi Wolf,

    jealousy from a man is usually emerge from a lack of abudance mindset, you scare you will lose her and scare you won't find another one like her.

    But the truth is you can easily find one like her, perhaps much better.

    Ya, I know, maybe you really love this girl right now, but love is just a cocktail mix of hormone messing up in our brain. When that hormone gone, love gone. It usually takes about 2 years for that hormone to drop half and another 4 years for that hormone to gone away.

    So be realistic and be rational.

    Another issus is the trust. You shouldn't lied to your woman, it's a very bad thing to do. Better be quiet than lying to a women.

    If you need a personal space, honestly talk to her, most girl will understand. If she's not she's a crazy girl you should stay away.

    Love your woman, be honest to them & give them some personal space too.

    Hope this help,
    Naughty Napoleon


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