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  1. #1
    Latin Stallion's Avatar
    Latin Stallion is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Competition with another guy and trying to avoid friend zone

    Long story short. I have been going on dates with this chick for a little over a month. 1st date I tried to kiss, no go. Ran routines on her. She was intrigued blah blah blah. This went on for weeks. No kiss, but as she warmed up to me we had more and more Kino and kisses on the cheek. So, within the last two weeks. She met another guy and I can tell she likes him. He's more of her pattern type of guy (Urban). I am very clean cut. Anyway, she has been slowing up a bit with me and chasing him hard. I am falling into the Friend Zone. I believe it's because I had been too passive in our dates. I let her pick 90% of our dates. Huge mistake. Anyway, past is past. Hanged out with her Friday and we were talking about relationships and she was like "I'm not dating or talking to anyone right now." To me as I have experienced comes off as a Shit Test to see how I would react and if I would submit to the friend zone or ignore the shit test and go forward with more aggressive energy. So, after this night I have text her twice Saturday to wish her luck with her new job she got. After that I planned to avoid texting her first and seeing where her mind is. She text me Monday (2 days later) thanking me for a gift I got for her daughter saying "She loved it! Lol thanks again". I waited 2 or so hours before I responded and when I did I said "You're welcome. I'm happy chubby liked it" (she likes that I gave her the nickname chubby so I thought it would be a pleasing undertone without showing too much excitement). I purposely didn't add anything else to keep the convo going because I want to appear busy with other things. I will die if I end up in the friend zone with this chick. I really like her. So, where do I go from here???

    PS: One up I have on this guy is that she has introduced me to her daughter, brother, best friend and other friends.

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Competition with another guy and trying to avoid friend zone

    Well it doesnt see like shes giving off a bad behavior with you. Which is good. Which means you dont have to freeze her out. I do believe you're friend zoning quick.

    Solutions would be break rapport. Talk more in person leading conversations and ask her wuestions that challenge her adventurous side that most men miss ou on. Make yourtime with her less about getting to know about her and being comfortable and take more control in having a good time. This doesnt mean escalate to sex. But to me everything you've posted seemed lack luster in leading her which is why there was no kiss early on and the mention of another guy. Don't let things distract you. Being busy and acting like it is ok but really the thing you need to work on is being the most desireable person to her. The way to do that is to show her how to have a good time where she can live, laugh and smile the entire time. Think of things to do that aren't exactly friendly events and more intimate adventures. Im not exactly talking about dates but turn your situation around by increasing the intimacy and fun vibes. Women pick up on this and want to mirror it and when they're not exposed to it they become cold and detached.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    Latin Stallion's Avatar
    Latin Stallion is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Competition with another guy and trying to avoid friend zone

    Thanks, bro. Will try. Any intriguing questions you have in mind?

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Competition with another guy and trying to avoid friend zone

    Questions should be themed around how you or she might want have or need in an intimate relationship... Not just how friends ask whats up or whats wrong... Lovers and people you're seeing intimately want to know how you connect with others... So try that. Ask her with small things like... Do you dirty talk in bed? Top or bottom? Do you cuddle after sex... Or run for a shower to feel fresh? These questions are things most people don't consider friendly and are often more intimate but apart of building a relationship. Most people are too afraid to ask these things but i realize as i grow older why not ask these things before you get there? The worse that can happen is that you don't click in the sexual romantic partner lifestyle. Which if you fkund this out earlier would have saved you time and money. So consider these questions to stand out and be bold with your sexuality. These question arent about asking for sex so any awkwardness thats appears would make it obvious that you can escalate or not because if she isnt going to answer them she's not comfortable around youto think of her sexuality next to yours. Most people are ok in respondin to these. Even co workers.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
    Latin Stallion's Avatar
    Latin Stallion is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Competition with another guy and trying to avoid friend zone

    Ok. I think I gotcha. I don't want it to come off randomly and out of the blue because most of our conversations aren't about sex. We mentioned sex on our 2nd or 3rd date. (true story) I was telling her how my coworkers are always talking about porn and telling me their favorite stars. How a coworker randomly asked me if I like anal porn. She smiled and asked "What's anal porn?". She's 24 so I know damn well she know what anal sex is. I just played it cool. I went into small detail about it to her. Anyway, after that we haven't talked about sex again. I know for a fact she is a sexual person, we went out and she was dancing VERY provocatively and I have seen her on many occasions doing so. So, my thought right now is, maybe I should be on our next date and act like I have a text(or even have a buddy send me a message) saying something about sex or questions about it. Check my phone in front of her and use that as an excuse to ask her these sexual questions. So it appears to come off genuine and spur of the moment. What are your thoughts on this approach?


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