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  1. #11
    Fl3my is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    according to your suggestions should i contact her tomorrow or should i wait a few days? should i offer to talk where should i meet her?

  2. #12
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    I think a freeze out is great for people you live with. The important factor is how you handle it. I think he did the right thing to get her to see whats wrong. She got it clear but went defensive. People go on the defensive when they feel attacked. I hoped his wording was less emotionally damaging and goal oriented filled with qualification scenarios but theres a strong chance there wasn't. I do agree chasing her is a bad thing. At the very most i my personal opinion is to let her know you're not angry or upset but you want to work through these issues you both have. Let her know you open to discussing these issues when she's ready.

    When you're addressing issues be less reactive and more productively seeking for solutions in which you both can move on from. Think of this as compromising. Its common problems in relationships to have small fights especially when you both see each other daily for long periods of time. Whats happened is that the honey moon stage is gone. You're now living with an unfiltered version of who this person is while also exhibiting the same. No one is perfect. She's not. And you aren't.

    Don't harp on issues when you are trying to mend these problems. Instead suggest things you'll do to improve your side of the relationship. Rebuild qualification for both you and her so you both know how to meet half way. As you're suggesting how to maybe improve yourself leave some room open for her to add to the list. This way not everything is about your way. And then ask her to do the same while adding small hints about how she could improve things too to not set you into your red zone. The idea is compromise, solution and discussion. These are goal orient ways to understanding and approaching issues with people. When you move away from what people are doing wrong which sometimes includes yourself you move to a frame work of responsibility not only on tasks and property but also the other person's feelings.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #13
    Fl3my is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    Well she came back. After an hour or so, acted all insulted. I went to sleep and went to work I don't know what's waiting for me when I come back home.

  4. #14
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    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    Continue your frame. Let her know you're willing to talk to her to work through these problems that you both have. Make it clear you don't want to fight anymore. Tell her your trying to make this less about the problems. Tell her you'd like to address the problems now so you don't have to break up because you do love her. These problems are clear signs of miscommunication and tension from being around each other for long periods of time.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #15
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    You do realize that you are an escape for this girl ???
    Without you she would be living at home .... so yeah, she will always come back .... if I can ask, how old is she ???

  6. #16
    Fl3my is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    well we sort of made peace even though she continues acting this way.
    today she watched movies while i painted the walls and cooked.
    and after all that she told me, i wasted my time all day on nonsense instead of spending time with her.
    she is 28 by the way.

  7. #17
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    You wasted your time by giving up your frame. You didnt work on any compromises. When she says all that drama wasn't worth anything--it means you haven't let her know how serious you were. If i were you i would have made it lear that if she wasn't going to compromise that you couldn't LIVE together--being commited to each other would have been fine but you need to define your boundaries and stick to it. You made itclear you were a push over.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.


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