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  1. #1
    Fl3my is offline PUA in Training
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    Question Girl acts disrespectful

    Hi, my girl and i have been together for a year and a half , sh'es spoiled from home i knew that from the start. but we used to have a good relationship. now she just demands things and gets upset when i don't do them. iv'e talked to her about this many times. Im getting frustrated I work and pay the bills. she is a student in another city but she almost finished so she's at my place.
    she doesn't do anything most of the day. I got mad and told her so, yesterday she decided to clean the house.
    and today she got mad because i didn't run to buy her milk before she woke up.
    I feel she just lost it.
    I confronted her about her behavior this morning, and she actually got upset and said i don't do anything( except work).

    I'm thinking of leaving her. is this a rash decision?

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    Its not exactly rash. You probably have more history you're hiding but its probably not important to share unless you're missing key behavioral points on yourside as well as hers. Like what do you do to upset her besides forgetting milk? What does she do that upsets you outside of just picking small fights?

    If shes no longer worth the trouble then an exit might be a positive change. But remember once you decide to commit to this idea she'll notice. Which could be good or bad depending on how you handle it along with matching your goals for following through.

    For now if you haven't commited to leaving her try freezing her out to correct her behavior. This is a rare case i believe that freezing out is actually appropreate. Give her a couple days to a week of silence allowing tension to build. I believe signs in which to break early from the freeze out should be if she rely wants to talk to you and not just call you out for a fight.

    If you do confront her, i'd leave out as much of the emotional side on your part as possible and consider responding to her with active listening. I'd also throw in a bit of complaints but i wouldnt make it about complaining about what relationship problems you both have. Instead i'd make it an active coversation about how you both are working towards the same goal but its obvious that there's been too much of the emotional stress tension thats been built.

    In my personal opinion it sounds like you two are living together. If so you guys have spent too much time together and ares tarting to get on each others nerves. See about trying to develop pacing in the relationship if so. Maybe dont see each other every other day or every few days. Still text or call but maye too much physical space is getti g to you guys....
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    Fl3my is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    yes she does tolerate my weed smoking, she claims i don't do anything but that.
    but i work full time for 9 to 12 hours per day ,and the last week i painted the house after work. she doesn't work and barely takes care of the house today i asked her to be home for some movers to come with forniture, she acted as if she was doing me a big favor and asked to be the last option.

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    Yeah... New facts dont seem to change anything. What i posted earlier is pretty clear with options if you want to proceed. But feel free to see if anyone else wants to chime in
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    Art, they are living together ..... this is a lose lose situation because if anybody thinks her behavior is going to get better the longer the relationship goes on for they are sadly mistaken .... I think we are seeing the tip of the iceberg here and it doesn't look good

  6. #6
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    Not really a lose lose situation if he's paying for everything and she goes to school and brigs no income....
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  7. #7
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    I meant lose lose in terms of he either breaks up with her which carries it's own issues and problems or he stays with her and puts up with her shit and drives himself crazy

  8. #8
    Fl3my is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    tried the freeze out, didn't last very long she kept touching me and finally asked what was wrong.
    I told her i was very mad at her, she got silent, later she asked me why am i angry.
    I told her she disrespects and treats me badly, she started getting in to an aggressive defensive mode.
    I didn't cooperate. then she started acting like she got hurt took her bag and got out of the house.
    this happend a few times before so i didn't run after her, in the last times i had to come to her parents place where she goes to convince her to come back, I'm tired of that even though right now i am talking out of anger. tomorrow I would probably feel shitty and want to call her.

    please help me here I do have strong feelings for her, but i am not sure of the price any more.

  9. #9
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    My phone is about to die but i suggest holding your frame for now about what you want. Be open to working things out for the both of you but don't give in on chasing her to just be in your life. You're looking for someone to work with you i your life not against you.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  10. #10
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl acts disrespectful

    Let me just say .... a Freeze Out with somebody you live with is NOT a good idea ..... talk about how you feel and get it out in the open ..... whatever happens happens and you move on. And please do not go get her .... there is a power play going on here and if you chase after her you are giving up the power.


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