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Thread: Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

  1. #1
    rogerpaul1234 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

    There is this girl who has a boyfriend with whom she has not had sex for five months (she told me). She keeps on calling me, we went out to a concert, but she invited her bf at the last moment. I ignored her, told her "I don t like to play games."
    I isolated for two weeks, she kept calling me. I went out with her to another concert today, but unfortunately lost the way (I know, very beta of me)
    She came back with me, we sat on my balcony drinking beer, she began complaining about her boyfriend (I cut it off), but her body language was very negative. Crossed legs away from me, crossed arms, just eye contact, but she is Italian and I think they keep eye contact most of the time. During the conversation there were really long pauses.
    Seeing that it was going no where I cut it off. She said she just wanted to relax in my room as she was very angry and listen to music I said, no, I have a lot of work to do, and I don t want a silent angry person staying on my couch and listening to music. "Call me when you are in a better mood!" I said and cut if off. She left.
    What should I do now? Or just next the whole thing? I just refuse to be LJBFed these days!

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

    So is she calling you because she wants to vent her problems to you and just make small talk?

    You handled her bf situation well by not letting her talk about her bf and splitting when she brought the bf at the last minute.

    What I gather from what you are doing is you don't seem to be creating positive emotions in her (flirting/teasing) and being fun and playful. You need to generate feelings of attraction in her and then intensify it before escalating and making any moves or else it won't work.

    I know Italian girls and they are very sexual/sexually liberated. Don't be afraid to talk sexual with her. The time she said she wanted to go to your room and relax, I would've joked with her:

    "Well you should know that my room has one rule. It has a very strict dress code."

    "No clothes."

    OR

    "Oh I don't know. Every girl I let into my bedroom always try to take advantage of me and get into my pants. You are going to have to get to know me first."

    I don't know the details of your conversations, but right now, I get the notion that there's a lot of "push" and no "pulls" in your exchange with her. You need to do that to create sexual tension. Without any of the above, you run the risk of getting thrown in the friendzone.

    So definitely 'marinate the fish' before diving into it to indulge on.

    Lastly, you need to know what you want with this girl. Sleep with her as fvck buddy? Steal her from her bf to make her into a girlfriend? You need a goal.

  3. #3
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

    Quote Originally Posted by I.M.Mortal View Post
    You handled her bf situation well by not letting her talk about her bf and splitting when she brought the bf at the last minute.
    You aren't the first person I've heard who's said that you should change the subject when she complains about her bf, but I've never understood the reason why. Her criticisms of him would seem like valuable information to have, so that you know what not to do, and consequentially, how to be better than him. Also, while I've been critical of BF destroyers, in the off chance you want to use one, its hard to formulate an effective destroyer if you don't have information on him, or if you don't allow the topic of her bf to ever come up.

    I also understand the benefits of changing the subject. You don't want to be her therapist, or have her thinking about him when she's with you.

    So it seems that the ideal solution would be to have the best of both worlds - let her rant about her bf the first time, get all the information you can, and then cut her off every time after that. What do you (or anyone else) think?

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

    Well i think you got the timin right as to when to respknd with something but you're doing a poor job of distracting her. I'd suggest being positive and ignore anything to do with her BF. Make everything about having a good time and positively influence her with emotions makin her laugh and smile and don't be afraid to break rapport and tease her. Don't make everythig so serious. If things aren't working out create a new situation. LEAD. Thats the biggest issue i think you're running into.

    More than likely she's atteacted to a leader than she is a badazz because she's complaining as if it were an open symbol for her screaming "do something now and distract me from my problems". If she makes rash decisions based on her emotions you're likely dealing with an emotionally driven woman. All this stuff means is that you need to spark her interest in chasing you. Don't shut yourself off--give her reasons to chase you and forget about her boyfriend.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

    @carter21

    I totally agree. I would let her get away with it once. That intel about the bf is usually very valuable. And after you got all the important info you need, then I end the convo with a bf destroyer.

  6. #6
    rogerpaul1234 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

    Thanks guys for this great information! Do I initiate contact right now, that is in the next two days, or wait a bit say three to four days, or do I wait for her to initiate?

  7. #7
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

    Yes, definitely. You like her, you initiate. She has been initiating in the past so you can reward her. Don't sit idle and wait for things to happen. Go out there and make it happen. Like Art said - Lead.

  8. #8
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

    This would work out but might take a short while.You made a few mistakes.Missed shots.best to move on or call then ask out.avoid apologizing no matter what in this dynamic.PEACE

  9. #9
    rogerpaul1234 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

    Ok, I send a message yesterday late around 11 PM saying that I was at a great bbq in the park, but did not invite her. It was late at night (the German summer has long days). She replied that she was too drunk to come and gave me a hug over text. Called me today morning, I did not take the call. She called again. I did not. I was in no mood. Later, send her a text message asking her if she was free. She replied instantly. Said she was free the whole day. After that, I paste the conversation below

    Me: It's a beautiful day. Come with me to the park? I am going.
    She: Yes, I ll come with you. When are you going?
    I did not reply. About half an hour later, I get a message.
    She: Are you in the park?
    Me: I ll go. I ll let you know when. Are you sure? I think it is romantic.
    She: ahahaha if it's romantic I don t come. I want to enjoy the nature.
    Me: That's good. I like women who know what they want.

    No reply yet. The truth is I ll be damned if I take her out for romantic walks without getting laid. I am tired of being constantly LJBFed.

    Any advice, masters?

  10. #10
    marvilo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girl with a bf "chasing" me, but don t know when to make a move

    Thats the best time to make a move if you guys go to the park. Isolated and if you be the leader it will lead to a k close. Women are more passive in one on one situations. YOU HAVE TO FLIRT AND TEASE HER IN THE ONE ON ONE SITUATION THOUGH. if you don't make your intentions by flirting and teasing known you'll just be her good friend she talks about her bf too and there for conversations. All romantic aspects without the sex and kissing.
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!


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