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Thread: How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

  1. #1
    Kissekatt is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

    So, long story short. I met this girl about three weeks ago and we've been seeing eachother a couple of times, mostly over drinks with other friends around. Shes also asked me to go to the beach with her and go out to eat, which we did like 2-3 times. Between these "dates" we've been texting alot and i can definitely sense theres some attraction from her side.

    Yesterday she came by my place with cinnabons for breakfast as i was pretty recked from the night before, we chatted for a bit and she left for work. Later that night i texted her something like "will you drop by with more cinnabons later? " and this conversation ensued:

    Her: Naah, then you might think that im into you, so there have to be some moderation..

    Me: Haha, but you are

    Her: No

    As i was at the club i didnt answer her right away, so she called me about 10 minutes later telling me something like the above text (cant really recall what she said.. Was a bit wasted). I just replied that i couldnt really hear what she said since the music was so loud and that we'll talk later.

    On my way home i answered to her "No" text with (kinda bad push i guess) "Ouch.. Nah, i dont think we would be such a great couple. I kinda see you more like a sister than a girlfriend actually." To which she replied "Oh thats good! The thought just hit me that i might have been sending the wrong singals with the butt-pics, cinnabons and all.."

    So, how fucked am i, can i turn this around and close this girl or should i just move on?

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

    It sounds like you're reading too much into her and hoping shes into you. From what i'm reading it doesnt sound like shes attracted to you romantically--she's attracted to you emotionally. Which means you're friendzoned. Use friend zone slayer. Stop lying to her and yourself. Be honest, take charge, lead and take responsibility
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    Maverick1027's Avatar
    Maverick1027 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

    I think she is into you and was just sh1t testing you. And you did, without a doubt, put yourself in the friend zone by sending her that text. Had you not said that - there is so much more advice I could've given ...

    I agree with what artandale said: "Use Friend Zone slayer. Stop lying to her and yourself. Be honest, take charge, lead and take responsibility"

  4. #4
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

    Theres a way to salvage the mistake. But you need to hold hard if you are ready to make or break this relationship with the girl. Right now you have a better chance of playing the mixed feelings guy. Dont make any decisions until you've read the Friend zone Slayer thread.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  5. #5
    Kissekatt is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

    Thanks for the replies guys.

    Yeah, it was obviosly a bad move from my side. Wont be hard to shut her out for a month or two if im going to try again. Doubt shes worth the time though.

    Maverick: if i didnt screw up by texting her that, how would you have proceded passing that sh1t test?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

    Lol i reread your original post. I realized what you did wrong. You were trying to flirt and failed. You gave her a reason without a joke or story to contradict it. Correct me if im wrong but you were trying to flirt... Thats where you failed. That line or... Half of a line you were trying to use is more efficient in person than over text btw. Its something you want to use when building up that escalation ladder to work to a kiss
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  7. #7
    Maverick1027's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

    Well ... the thing is ... the way these games are played, it's hard to give you an exact road map because the conversation can go so many ways. The most important things to remember are to always stay confident and strong, and to some degree, act like you don't care what happens. The goal should always be having her chase you. And if you feel like she has stopped chasing you then make her chase you.

    When you said "but you are" and she said "no." I would have probably ignored her "no" all together and started another conversation and went from there. If a girl is giving you answers you can't do anything with, it's okay to ignore them and change the subject. whatever puts you in control.

    *edit* by the way ... it is my understanding that text messaging is best used only to set up a date. if your texts aren't leading to setting up a date, there's not much of a reason to text. that's not to say that you should only send one text that says: "hey, let's go out tomorrow night" ... but the conversation should lead there - and it should lead there with moderate timing. don't spend too much time texting early on. like artandale said, things can easily get misinterpreted via text.

  8. #8
    Kissekatt is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

    Yeah, the cinnabon text was meant to be kinda flirty. Tried to keep it short and didnt think about adding a joke or story to it. Bad move.

    The friend zone slayer post you are talking about, is it Kyles comprehensive guide to slaying friend zone?

  9. #9
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kissekatt View Post
    Yeah, the cinnabon text was meant to be kinda flirty. Tried to keep it short and didnt think about adding a joke or story to it. Bad move.

    The friend zone slayer post you are talking about, is it Kyles comprehensive guide to slaying friend zone?
    Yes, you need to study it and embrace it if she is for sure locking you into the friend zone and you don't want to be in it. Its a great guide but only you can implement it. Theres no real lines to remember only principles about what you want and what you're willing to sacrifice.

    One thing im not certain of is if she's 100% friend zoning you. It sounds like its moving that way because you never escalated or broke rapport with her. You'll never really know if she's LBJFed you until you meet in person and try to kino her. When you do you can do 3 things to test the Friend Zone.

    1. Hold hands and if she doesn't pull back keep going up the ladder and see if she's really avoiding intimacy with you.

    2. Im going to just leave a short cut and recommend kyle's friend zone slayer guide here.

    3. When isolated kino her with the intention of kissing and more and while saying how great of a friend she is. Lol. Its kind of messed up weird mind games because its putting it out there that you dont want her verbally but physically you do. I've only heard this working one or two times but it depends on your verbal and physical game to distract her mind with words and to fluster her body to want more. Think of it as fore play. Lol
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  10. #10
    Kissekatt is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do i turn this around? (Girl says shes not into me.. But she is?)

    Thanks artendale. Read that post, but will definitely study it a bit closer.

    Well, up to yesterday i didnt feel like i was in the friend zone, or even close. Got good reactions when seeing her and there was definitely attraction from her side. Theres been som mid kino as well, but no closing.

    What would be a good next step in this situation?


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