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Thread: What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

  1. #1
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

    You are in a relationship with a girl and she withholds sex from you for whatever reason...

    I feel like girls do this to try to tame you or put you in your place, but how do you get around this? What do you do/say?

  2. #2
    Maverick1027's Avatar
    Maverick1027 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by johnnybob62 View Post
    You are in a relationship with a girl and she withholds sex from you for whatever reason...

    I feel like girls do this to try to tame you or put you in your place, but how do you get around this? What do you do/say?
    It's true. They do it to try to "tame" you. But - you aren't their bitch. You are the man. You have to make it clear that if she doesn't give you sex, you'll find it somewhere else.

    "You don't want to cheat" but you are a man. And it's in your biology that you need sex.

    If you're in a relationship you should NEVER WITHHOLD SEX FROM YOUR PARTNER! That goes for guys and girls. If she wants sex, give it to her - i don't care if you're tired. If you want sex, she should give it to you - despite what anyone says: sex is a healthy part of a relationship and if you want to be the happiest you can be in a relationship, sex is a part of it.

  3. #3
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

    I think i'm going to need more than 'whatever reason'... Her reason is how i will neg or qualify myself as i hold my frame of still wanting sex.

    A friend of mine would always make it clear about the kind of relationship that he wanted. I once met a girl he was head over heels for until he found out she doesn't put out to anyone--she doesn't like it. Next thing i knew he moved on. She was ok with it if you're wondering.

    The point of that story is that sex is not a tool and shouldn't be used as such. Sex is one of the highest forms of connecting with another person intimately. I used to question why guys wanted sex so much but now i understand more as an adult that sometimes sex is fun and to some people fun is important. It might not be fun for everyone but hey--thats why theres 7 billion people on this planet. No 2 people are a like but you can get pretty close if your odds are out of 7 billion.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  4. #4
    Maverick1027's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by artandale View Post
    No 2 people are a like but you can get pretty close if your odds are out of 7 billion.
    It's only 7 billion if you are bisexual. ~3.5 billion otherwise.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

    Oh I had this type of situation the other night. Had an old old female friend of mine call me up out of the blue. So we got together and went to a bar I play in pretty often and listened to a band I know, got up and blew a couple tunes her way and then closed the bar.

    We rolled back to my place and of course it's all IOI's and hanging on me.. but when I went to make the move it was "No. I really don't feel comfortable getting physical with you, we've been friends for so long."

    This was after telling me how earlier in the week she had screwed some random she met online who she couldn't even really stand.

    I shrugged her off and froze her out, no more holding hands, no more paying attention to her yammering, nada. Grabbed my cell and started surfing the web on it. Told her flat out.

    "You'll have terrible sex with some random screw off you couldn't even stand, but then you'll turn down great sex with a man you have known for 20 years? You should consider yourself PRIVILEGED."

    "Why should I be privileged?"

    "Because if you were ANY other woman than who you are. I would toss your ass down those stairs and out the door and make you walk home. I haven't been told "no" by a woman in years, I'm not used to hearing the world "no"" Now this was all delivered calmly and conversationally, like I was stating a simple fact of life to her.

    I then turned to my phone for awhile. She sat there for awhile in silence, steaming red. I then turned back to her:

    "Instead, since you are one of my deepest and oldest and dearest friends, I will take you home instead of making you walk. Get your shit woman."

    and I took her home and dropped her off.

    She texted me back the next day telling me how much fun she had, etc and wants to get another date going and about possibly seeing each other on an exclusive basis, that I "made her think about me in a different way".

    I told her she was too plump and had let herself go over the years to much for me to hang out with her exclusively, that I have much better options that actually give up the sex and wasn't interested. Trust me, it is no loss.

    But when they deny me sex? I freeze them out until they beg for my attention again.

  6. #6
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

    hmmm that seemed a little harsh siliconmagician lol.

    let me give you guys an example.

    im in college and ive been talkin to this chick i recently met and she wanted me to spend the night so i did, made a move and then she stops me and says "im not gonna have sex with you im not like that."

    so i asked her why am i here then.

    she pulls the "oh is that all you wanted was sex?" on me.

    so we go back and forth and i just turn over and go to bed with blue balls.

    what can i do in this situation? without being a douche

  7. #7
    Shark1804 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick1027 View Post
    "You don't want to cheat" but you are a man. And it's in your biology that you need sex.
    "Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies."

    I never understood that kind of people that restrain their libido just because society told them to, nor the ones that use sex to tame/be tamed.


    Quote Originally Posted by johnnybob62 View Post
    hmmm that seemed a little harsh siliconmagician lol.

    let me give you guys an example.

    im in college and ive been talkin to this chick i recently met and she wanted me to spend the night so i did, made a move and then she stops me and says "im not gonna have sex with you im not like that."

    so i asked her why am i here then.

    she pulls the "oh is that all you wanted was sex?" on me.

    so we go back and forth and i just turn over and go to bed with blue balls.

    what can i do in this situation? without being a douche
    On the contrary, I find that to be a (kind of) good reaction. The real question is: if you froze her out because of that, and then she comes back begging for you, do you give her a second chance?

    Now, on the "oh is sex all you wanted line?" you messed up by asking her why you were there. Girls don't like to get caught, that's why it's "difficult" to get them to bed. From what I've read (I have not exeperienced this by first hand at the time of writing), you should just go along with her with something along the lines of "Don't worry, I won't make you do something you don't want to do" and just keep escalating until she just can't hold it anymore.

  8. #8
    Maverick1027's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shark1804 View Post
    "Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies."

    I never understood that kind of people that restrain their libido just because society told them to, nor the ones that use sex to tame/be tamed.
    Yes. I agree. When I said "you don't want to cheat" I was implying "I don't want to cheat ... but I will if you don't have sex with me."

  9. #9
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by johnnybob62 View Post
    You are in a relationship with a girl and she withholds sex from you for whatever reason...

    I feel like girls do this to try to tame you or put you in your place, but how do you get around this? What do you do/say?

    You say goodbye. Next question lol
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  10. #10
    Naughty Napoleon's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a girl who withholds sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by johnnybob62 View Post
    You are in a relationship with a girl and she withholds sex from you for whatever reason...

    I feel like girls do this to try to tame you or put you in your place, but how do you get around this? What do you do/say?
    TO be honestly, no offense though, perhaps she's not interested to have sex with you.

    SHe just see you as a provider, NOT a lover.

    Maybe you should really take a deep look at yourself (I know it's hard to do so; but this is how you examine the root cause of your problem):

    Am I sexy enough that woman want to have sex with me??

    Am I good in bed that I can satisfy a woman to her fullest?

    Am I clean or clear of any odor?


    If you are ok in all these. then it's porbably her issue...

    Try to talk to her with an open-minded and see what's actually holding her back..

    Cheer


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