Hi guys, I have very limited experience with women. But there are some things that are good for me. I have a lot of confidence. I can now go up to a girl say hi, start a conversation, and make eye contact the entire time. I used to not even be able to talk to girls ( i was the nerdy guy picked on all my life/ I probably have assburgers). Also I would consider myself an 8 or a 9 in the looks department. very attractive guy. I know this because I've been repeatedly told by random strangers. But for a long long time I had such anxiety that even talking to girls became so painful that they- in their shyness, and their ability to recognize my insecurities would all run away.
However, there is a new me. A confident me who is able to handle himself well. However, i need to learn and improve.
So lately I have noticed a lot of signs and behaviors from girls but am unaware of how to respond to them.
First, I need help how to have things to talk about. and I need to know why women behave the way they do.
I met a really cute waitress the other day. It was just me and her, I asked for a card, she seemed really giddy to see me. I took it as an IOI. we talked for a while, but all I got was her name shook her hand she asked mine and that was it. I didnt really know what to say or how to go about anything else. Few days later I saw her at the bar- I thought she would show the same interest- yet she just keep giving me the eye, looking at me here and there over and over but never smiled. So I was confused, I never smiled, acted like I didnt care and stopped looking at her. I was actually hoping to talk to her and get her info but how could I do that when she was all the way in the kitchen away from the bar?
I met two girls at two coffee shops. The first showed obvious IOI. I went up to her asked what she was doing- she told me, we talked, throughout this she would look at me I would look at her. I smiled she smiled. Later I went to go up to her- to get her number and said it was a pleasure to meet you. She looked nervous and quickly said same here good luck. I took it like she wasnt interested, and moved on. I was confused.
I met another girl at the coffee shop. Same thing with her. This time, when I talked and went up to her to shake her hand she said oh maybe Ill see you again. I said sure are u here often. She quickly turned away said umm I dunno here and there- I said ok and walked off. I was confused again.
WTF is going on?
I met another girl, this time at the hospital where I am a student (med student)- she was an easy 9. I mean totally hot chic. She was also easy to mess with. Id constantly tease her and mess with her. I called her a future trophy wife and she went off about how she probably will be one. Next day and day after that she tried to prove to me she wasnt stupid- she brought her law school books and read them to me and talked about how she was taking her lsats bla bla bla. I constantly teased her, made her read random lines from it and so forth (I have confidence- period and especially when I know what to do or just want to be playful-I just dont know what to do after).
Next day she says this- we're talking bla bla- she says- Yeah bla bla my B- and she stops. Instead of saying boyfriend she just says my B-. stops herself, and says my friend is helping me with bla bla bla. I take it as she has a boyfriend and finish the convo but get back to what im doing. later she comes up in the middle of a meeting because her books are there and looks at me the whole time. I ignore her. she sits in the corner and has her whole body towards me and looks at me the whole time i ignore her. when we do make eye contact i dont smile i just look at her and then away. She then changes her behavior. From here on out she wont even look at me. she would talk to me here and there but do the same thing i did- after a while I noticed she was doing what I had done to her- ignoring me the same way, turning her head away when I came to see her or waved hi (in a goofy kind of way). for what its worth all the ladies there were into me and would lap up anything I did. Like i said, I'm a very good looking guy. I'd say I'm one of those guys with model looks. But after years and years of being picked on through high school I've been a neurotic nervous wreck.
I got CBT recently and it helped me with confidence. I no longer have those negative thoughts. I can cold approach just about anyone. I can say Hi, how are you whats your name look them in the eye like they are mine and have no issues. I have no fears- just clueless.