Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16
Like Tree1Likes

Thread: Case study trying to understand better the female mind

  1. #1
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 314, Level: 6
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 35.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    131
    Points
    314
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default Case study trying to understand better the female mind

    Hey guys,

    I have been studying PUA for a while now, but I still fail to fully grasp how the female mind works. We all know that women are emotional creatures and that we need to appeal to their emotions. Logic is useless when gaming, so we have to adapt. I struggle with this part but I am definitely more aware of some things compared to 2 years ago.

    I have this female Russian co-worker who is an interesting case. I have never tried anything with her but I often use her as a wingman or for emotional support when needed. In exchange, I have to put up with her endless rants. I personally see her as a HB7, but she has tremendous success with guys. I think she has always had it easy in life because of her good looks. She always knows when to smile in order to get her way. This may have distorted her view of reality but that’s another matter. So, she literally gets approached all the time and she has TONS of options. Nevertheless, she ends up with guys who abuse her. This is a real mystery to me and I am trying to analyse her behavior in order to better understand how females think.

    So, she basically stayed 2 years in an unhappy/unhealthy relationship and she kept complaining to me all the time. She was crying all the time and saying she had to dump her bf. She was also saying the worst shit about him, yet she always gave him another chance. From what I saw, they were not so much intimate. She wasn’t kissing him like a lover and I doubt they had sex anymore (the guy was not even gaming her). I took her with me to some parties but she kept dismissing other men on the pretext that her bf was by far the best-looking.

    She waited to find another guy before dumping him, but what strikes me is that the new bf is not any better than the old one. He’s the same control and jealous freak. He also lied about his religion (the guy is a muslim), his nationality, his father’s job, etc.

    No matter how bad this sounds, she has forgiven all that and has decided that there were legitimate reasons for him to lie about himself (he didn’t even need to justify his lies; she did it for him, lol!). Even worse, she now embraces his culture bit by bit. She doesn’t eat pork or drink alcohol anymore (even though she used to enjoy these things) and she even did ramadan with him out of solidarity (she didn’t eat anything until sunset). They were some ups and downs and she has said several times that she would dump him. Yet, she would forget everything, put her nicest clothes and run back to him.

    The guy went back home for a week and was texting less often (didn’t text for 24h on 2 occasions). I don’t even think this was a push-and-pull, but he was simply too busy meeting friends and family he hadn’t seen for a while. Anyway, my friend got extremely upset with this decrease of attention and was crying non-stop. So much drama over nothing... He has now returned and she is all lovey-dovey again, lol.

    What amazes me the most is that she didn’t even like him in the beginning, and now she is madly in love with him (or so she has convinced herself).

    So what gives? I don’t think the guy in question has good game. I saw all the exchanges of sms and the guy appeared super needy (was writing all the time and was kind of begging to meet her). He also kept making mistakes (tried to outdrink her – a Russian! - in order to get her into his bed, keeps begging for sex, leaves condoms everywhere as a subliminal message, etc.).

    If I did half the things he did with any girl, I would have taken the door. I know she was desperate for a relationship, but this is beyond my comprehension. Maybe the shower of compliments managed to seduce her? The only good thing that I acknowledge about him is that took her to some interesting places.

    What the fark is wrong with that woman? Of all the guys that courted her, she chose that specific one. Can’t she see the red flags? They are so big that you would have to be blind not to notice them.

    My question

    Do all women behave in such an erratic and non-logical way or is it that my friend has simply shitty taste in men? This is quite important as it means I can drop entirely my gentlemanly behavior from now on. I have been brought up that way but it hasn’t helped me at all with women. This guy was acting all creepy: touching her when she didn’t want to and pressuring her for sex, and he still got his way. I know that women have are also horny and have dirty minds, but I still don’t find it appropriate to be too forceful when displaying sexual interest (I take things kinda slow to be honest).

    I would really appreciate any feedback as I am really puzzled by this concrete example.
    Cheers

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,719, Level: 43
    Level completed: 85%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 53.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    820
    Points
    4,719
    Level
    43
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Rep Power
    238

    Default Re: Case study trying to understand better the female mind

    I wondered this too for a while but gave up trying tk figure it out to this level. One thing i've learned through inner game is that we all love bad habits. We say we dont and often cover up our white lies because we don't wan to be judged.

    In think in most caseswith the russian chick you bave to look at her emotional out bursts as her emotional radar--not so much logic or decisive thought process. Women don't make decisions based on emotions as much as we believe. They just happen to wear emotional shields for walls. What they talk about and how they talk about it defines their emotional state. This to me is like saying a splinter on her finger is making her have a bad day when she talks about how a guy is pleasing or displeasing her. When a girl starts to talk about commitment or cheating then she's gauging her emotions on a red alert big deal.

    For guys we read too much about the small things when we listen . Women use the small things to talk about nothing so they can really say this is where their emotional range is based on the main topic. It sounds confusing and it is but you can understand it if you try.

    As for the guy being needy it might be needy but sometimes thats how you can be direct. It depends on the girl and the type of relationship they've built. Is there honesty? How much honesty? So much honesty that tactfulness is not necessary?
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    Fire Eater is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,364, Level: 20
    Level completed: 64%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    209
    Points
    1,364
    Level
    20
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    69

    Default Re: Case study trying to understand better the female mind

    It goes in line with something I read in a popular book series:" She wants fire, and Dorne sent her mud. You could make a poultice out of mud to cool a fever. You could plant seeds in mud and grow a crop to feed your children. Mud would nourish you, where fire would only consume you, but fools and children and young girls would choose fire every time."

    Women naturally prefer strong dominant males, and this description fits a lot of jerks. At this point, they’ve put in so much time, they don’t want to risk not finding someone new. Better the devil you know, as they say.

    It could also be she is dependent on relationships.

    I also wonder about her past, According to Renee Piane, when a woman loses her father at a very young age, usually, this creates an emotional void that leads her to seek any man to fulfill this void, and when she finds him, she becomes so attached that she'll just take any abuse thrown at her.

  4. #4
    daffyff is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 565, Level: 11
    Level completed: 30%, Points required for next Level: 35
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    near San Francisco, ca
    Posts
    82
    Points
    565
    Level
    11
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    30

    Default Re: Case study trying to understand better the female mind

    Don't get caught in this trap pepito. This is describing an unhealthy relationship. It's like aspiring to be in a wheelchair to have the privilege of handicapped parking.

    My sister is pretty much in this exact kind of relationship, and it's not at all great for either party.

    The idea behind it for her to behave this way is that she believes very strongly that something worth having needs a lot of work. The more she invests in this, the bigger and more satisfying the pay out will be. She has her eye fixed on that hypothetical pay out which may not and probably won't happen.

    There is the added bonus in her mind that when she does succeed, it will be because of the massive amount of effort she put into the relationship that no other woman in his life was able to do. I know this because my sister said as much without even realizing what she was saying. She said something to the effect of "I truly believe that I was the only woman in his life that ever challenged him to be a better man." As if he is a rescue dog, or a beat up antique that needs refinishing.

    You really want to stay away from this kind of a woman.

  5. #5
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 314, Level: 6
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 35.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    131
    Points
    314
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default Re: Case study trying to understand better the female mind

    Thanks for the input, guys!

    I don't know what to make out of this story. I am inclined to think that I can use push and pull to my advantage (reward girl for positive traits, punish for negative traits) in order to make her loyal and submissive. To be honest, I remember that this strategy used to work quite well on my ex.


    Just to clarify one thing, I do NOT want to date her. First, she is a co-worker and her office is literally next to mine. Secondly, I have the impression she has a pretty low sex-drive (totally incompatible with me). Thirdly, I saw how she treated her ex and plotted against him, and I definitely do not want to be the next guy that has to go through that. Finally, she has some entitlement issues, she believes she can manipulate any man with her looks.
    In my view, this girl is broken and there is no hope for her. She will probably keep having abusive boyfriends without realising why she is attracted to them.

    I mentioned her case as I found it fascinating for her to behave in a way that defies all logic. When you have TONS of options, you are supposed to pick the best one out there.
    The only weird thing in this story is that she is a daddy's girl. She always talks about him in sweet terms and she doesn't seem to have been abused. Unless it was her very first bf that abused her, who knows...
    She also keeps saying how she will "fix him" or "break him", so there is indeed a subconscious need to improve the man she is with. How typical...


    Can you also please explain me this other situation?


    There was this girl I kinda liked. We were a large group of people, we went to some bar and we ran into another group. The guys from the other group were acquainted with some guys from our own group, so we eventually merged together. Then, there was this annoying guy who started hitting on the girl I liked. He was putting his arms all around her all the time, was kissing her randomly on the cheek and was trying to isolate her from the rest of the group.

    She didn't seem to like it at first (I could see an annoyed look on her face), but then she was not reacting any more and let him do his thing. I know this girl is not into ONS and that she isn't the one to be seduced easily (well, that's what I think at least). She was not returning him any of his affections nor showing him any IOIs, but she was still letting him have his way. If it was me, I would have simply told him to stop or something like that. I was curious and I asked her about that. She pretended she didn't understand the question.
    I am really puzzled by this behaviour. Did she really like it being touched and kissed all over by some random guy?

    I kinda messed up that night as she was begging me to stay longer and dance with her, but I was really exhausted (had a rough day and had stuff to do the next morning) and just went back home instead.

  6. #6
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,719, Level: 43
    Level completed: 85%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 53.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    820
    Points
    4,719
    Level
    43
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Rep Power
    238

    Default Re: Case study trying to understand better the female mind

    Women love the power of denial. If she has options she'll wait just like anyone who has power and is waiting for the next best thing. Its pretty simple i think. Choice is powerful
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  7. #7
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 314, Level: 6
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 35.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    131
    Points
    314
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default Re: Case study trying to understand better the female mind

    One more thing I do not understand about my Russian coworker. In the beginning of the relationship with the new guy, he was doing all the effort asking her out and trying to seduce her. She could have rejected him at any given time. He was trying so hard that he actually appeared needy at times.

    Now, she is the one that is afraid to be dumped and she cries over trivial matters (him writing him less often than before, etc.). She goes wayyy out of her way to please him (will cook special food, will buy presents, will do chores for him). On the other hand, the dude is now putting less effort in the relationship (but still rewards her occasionally). He acts all cool and cashes in on in initial investment.

    They have been dating for only 2 months. This change happened after the 1st month and I am trying to understand the process.

    What was the turning point? Which was the factor that turned the tables? It's like some some "missing link" for me.

    There's no better feeling than having a woman all over you and being totally dependent on you. You have absolute control of the relationship and you feel admired

  8. #8
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 309, Level: 6
    Level completed: 18%, Points required for next Level: 41
    Overall activity: 16.7%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    80
    Points
    309
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    21

    Default Re: Case study trying to understand better the female mind

    I wouldnt say that this girl accurately represents the "female mind", because, lets be serious here, most girls *would* lose interest if the guy did extremely needy things like that. Definently don't think that most girls are like this.

    It sounds like this girl has extremely low self esteem, possibly due to family issues and/or a number of tragedies that have happened. It also seems that she gets attatched to people very easily when they get close to her, which may be a result of the above, or maybe this trait is also partially genetic.

  9. #9
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 314, Level: 6
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 35.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    131
    Points
    314
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default

    Yeah, you got it right: ;ow self-esteem and gets attached really fast. Funny how she can be super arrogant at times and then she starts acting like a puss all of a sudden.
    She was really desperate for a relationship and she simply cannot imagine herself without a bf. The curious thing is why she chose that douche. She had so many other options, but went for one of the worst.

    It's also a mystery to me as to why so many men are attracted to her. I have never seen a woman being so much chased after. Guys flock to her (in the street, at parties, at bars, everywhere).
    She has a nice body but the face is average. Moreover, she doesn't dress very feminine (she wears jeans and snickers most of the time). Could be that innocent look on her face, who knows... She also likes to play the "weak and helpless girl" card and that may make her more approachable compared to the bitchy-type girls.
    Anyway, it's fascinating observing her as I discover another facet of a girl's life.

  10. #10
    Naughty Napoleon's Avatar
    Naughty Napoleon is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 294, Level: 5
    Level completed: 88%, Points required for next Level: 6
    Overall activity: 88.2%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    85
    Points
    294
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    20

    Default Re: Case study trying to understand better the female mind

    Adventurous and Romance...

    That's what all women crave for.. and might be these guys had offer her these feeling. You don't know.

    Oh ya, taking slow don't feel adventurous nor romance to any woman.

    So move fast!


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Penetrating Inside the Mind of a Female
    By letsgetlive in forum General Questions
    Replies: 20
    Last Thread: 02-07-2015, 04:30 PM
  2. PUA study group!!
    By Sickster in forum General Questions
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 02-13-2014, 07:43 PM
  3. Understand Female Body Language and Get Inside Her Head! Like FU#@'n MAGIC!
    By steven1 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 14
    Last Thread: 07-02-2013, 03:04 PM
  4. Has anyone heard of the Female Mind Mastery?
    By arthurmarriot in forum New Member Introductions
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 04-19-2013, 01:01 AM
  5. Study Buddy?
    By Anonymous24 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 10-02-2009, 11:31 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com