I have been studying PUA for a while now, but I still fail to fully grasp how the female mind works. We all know that women are emotional creatures and that we need to appeal to their emotions. Logic is useless when gaming, so we have to adapt. I struggle with this part but I am definitely more aware of some things compared to 2 years ago.
I have this female Russian co-worker who is an interesting case. I have never tried anything with her but I often use her as a wingman or for emotional support when needed. In exchange, I have to put up with her endless rants. I personally see her as a HB7, but she has tremendous success with guys. I think she has always had it easy in life because of her good looks. She always knows when to smile in order to get her way. This may have distorted her view of reality but that’s another matter. So, she literally gets approached all the time and she has TONS of options. Nevertheless, she ends up with guys who abuse her. This is a real mystery to me and I am trying to analyse her behavior in order to better understand how females think.
So, she basically stayed 2 years in an unhappy/unhealthy relationship and she kept complaining to me all the time. She was crying all the time and saying she had to dump her bf. She was also saying the worst shit about him, yet she always gave him another chance. From what I saw, they were not so much intimate. She wasn’t kissing him like a lover and I doubt they had sex anymore (the guy was not even gaming her). I took her with me to some parties but she kept dismissing other men on the pretext that her bf was by far the best-looking.
She waited to find another guy before dumping him, but what strikes me is that the new bf is not any better than the old one. He’s the same control and jealous freak. He also lied about his religion (the guy is a muslim), his nationality, his father’s job, etc.
No matter how bad this sounds, she has forgiven all that and has decided that there were legitimate reasons for him to lie about himself (he didn’t even need to justify his lies; she did it for him, lol!). Even worse, she now embraces his culture bit by bit. She doesn’t eat pork or drink alcohol anymore (even though she used to enjoy these things) and she even did ramadan with him out of solidarity (she didn’t eat anything until sunset). They were some ups and downs and she has said several times that she would dump him. Yet, she would forget everything, put her nicest clothes and run back to him.
The guy went back home for a week and was texting less often (didn’t text for 24h on 2 occasions). I don’t even think this was a push-and-pull, but he was simply too busy meeting friends and family he hadn’t seen for a while. Anyway, my friend got extremely upset with this decrease of attention and was crying non-stop. So much drama over nothing... He has now returned and she is all lovey-dovey again, lol.
What amazes me the most is that she didn’t even like him in the beginning, and now she is madly in love with him (or so she has convinced herself).
So what gives? I don’t think the guy in question has good game. I saw all the exchanges of sms and the guy appeared super needy (was writing all the time and was kind of begging to meet her). He also kept making mistakes (tried to outdrink her – a Russian! - in order to get her into his bed, keeps begging for sex, leaves condoms everywhere as a subliminal message, etc.).
If I did half the things he did with any girl, I would have taken the door. I know she was desperate for a relationship, but this is beyond my comprehension. Maybe the shower of compliments managed to seduce her? The only good thing that I acknowledge about him is that took her to some interesting places.
What the fark is wrong with that woman? Of all the guys that courted her, she chose that specific one. Can’t she see the red flags? They are so big that you would have to be blind not to notice them.
Do all women behave in such an erratic and non-logical way or is it that my friend has simply shitty taste in men? This is quite important as it means I can drop entirely my gentlemanly behavior from now on. I have been brought up that way but it hasn’t helped me at all with women. This guy was acting all creepy: touching her when she didn’t want to and pressuring her for sex, and he still got his way. I know that women have are also horny and have dirty minds, but I still don’t find it appropriate to be too forceful when displaying sexual interest (I take things kinda slow to be honest).
I would really appreciate any feedback as I am really puzzled by this concrete example.