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Thread: Finally closed number with no nervousness. Followed Neil Straus

  1. #1
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Finally closed number with no nervousness. Followed Neil Straus

    Been on the whole 30 day challenge. though I dont follow it assiduously. I have boards coming up. But- I read on how he gets numbers and its amazing. went to gym today and saw a girl there. she owns the place. we started talking and i figured id close on her. she showed no iois or signs of interest. and i realized- how many other girls must have i gone by talking to only to ignore them or not ask them out. well today i decided to use strauss' number close.

    when i was leaving i asked for pen and paper. talked to her. wrote my info down - she couldnt see what i wrote. talked to her some more. then gave her and had her write it down. she gave me her number. i made sure to talk to her more (so it wasnt as if i was just talking for number).

    Then I realized- this is so easy. I mean a lot of what holds me back is the anxiety of trying to figure out what to do next. but its so easy once you know how to go about it.

    i feel great about this. yesterday i got a number from a girl i wasnt too interested in. she seemed really sad and needy but had a past drug history which scared me away. ill probably stay in touch with her but still. im so happy. can you imagine how many girls out there are just looking for a connection?

    No wonder women end up with jerks- they have no emotions and dont care. I'm not like that at all and yet here I am getting numbers.

    Obv this means little and i have zero interest in her but its all practice.

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally closed number with no nervousness. Followed Neil Straus

    That's great Jayk, but I tell this to a lot of people who come here quoting Mystery and Neil Strauss.

    Although those two men were the ones who marketed PUA to the public and are regarded as "category creators" the game have evolved much since then. There is a movement away from the focus on external game (memorized lines, canned routines, etc) and more so on natural game.

    The problem with relying too much on external game is whenever a girl turns you down (especially a hot one), the first thing a guy does is he questions himself. "What did I do wrong?" He starts overthinking "What could I have said differently that might've made her feel differently in my favor?" Ultimately, it causes anxiety and that is not true confidence. It completely undermines your innergame.

    Also other problems that arises on a reliance on external game aka "performing" is

    - It muddies your identity. It prevents you from being genuine and authentic. A lot of PUA appear fake and not real.
    - It's temporary. It's an "act" that girls eventually will see through when they get to know you.
    - It causes anxiety/overthinking.
    - Requires effort.
    - Performance reinforces the belief that we are not good enough.

    Here is the truth about the art of seduction as I teach it to clients.

    - It's just like sales. It's not guaranteed. The best sales tactic will not work on every prospect. There are closing tactics that will increase your success rate, but more often than not you will still fail more than you succeed. For example, if one guy without any sales/PUA tactics close 1 out of 10, a savvy salesman/natural closes 3 out of 10 (which is damn good), a full time PUA will go out and meet 30 girls and get 9 girls to a f-close. And that is the success that is advertised. You don't see them failing on their in-fields videos. Try looking for a video of Mystery failing to get a girl's number. That's their dirty little secret that they won't show. However, there are some PUA coaches like SquattinCasanova who keeps it real and shows his in-field failures on youtube (props to him).

    - The art of seduction is not just on how to perform, it's self-development - Building your confidence and your social skills. Self-development is something many people won't invest in themselves. Many guys are lazy and looking for quick fixes to their girl problems via external game when developing true confidence will hit the source and rectify most of their issues.

    Since you are a doctor in the makings you will see that with patients. People only go to the doctor when they have symptoms and expect you to make them feel better. People don't go to the doctor when they are healthy or feel fine. That is why the name "healthcare" is a misnomer.

  3. #3
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Finally closed number with no nervousness. Followed Neil Straus

    Quote Originally Posted by I.M.Mortal View Post
    That's great Jayk, but I tell this to a lot of people who come here quoting Mystery and Neil Strauss.

    Although those two men were the ones who marketed PUA to the public and are regarded as "category creators" the game have evolved much since then. There is a movement away from the focus on external game (memorized lines, canned routines, etc) and more so on natural game.

    The problem with relying too much on external game is whenever a girl turns you down (especially a hot one), the first thing a guy does is he questions himself. "What did I do wrong?" He starts overthinking "What could I have said differently that might've made her feel differently in my favor?" Ultimately, it causes anxiety and that is not true confidence. It completely undermines your innergame.

    Also other problems that arises on a reliance on external game aka "performing" is

    - It muddies your identity. It prevents you from being genuine and authentic. A lot of PUA appear fake and not real.
    - It's temporary. It's an "act" that girls eventually will see through when they get to know you.
    - It causes anxiety/overthinking.
    - Requires effort.
    - Performance reinforces the belief that we are not good enough.

    Here is the truth about the art of seduction as I teach it to clients.

    - It's just like sales. It's not guaranteed. The best sales tactic will not work on every prospect. There are closing tactics that will increase your success rate, but more often than not you will still fail more than you succeed. For example, if one guy without any sales/PUA tactics close 1 out of 10, a savvy salesman/natural closes 3 out of 10 (which is damn good), a full time PUA will go out and meet 30 girls and get 9 girls to a f-close. And that is the success that is advertised. You don't see them failing on their in-fields videos. Try looking for a video of Mystery failing to get a girl's number. That's their dirty little secret that they won't show. However, there are some PUA coaches like SquattinCasanova who keeps it real and shows his in-field failures on youtube (props to him).

    - The art of seduction is not just on how to perform, it's self-development - Building your confidence and your social skills. Self-development is something many people won't invest in themselves. Many guys are lazy and looking for quick fixes to their girl problems via external game when developing true confidence will hit the source and rectify most of their issues.

    Since you are a doctor in the makings you will see that with patients. People only go to the doctor when they have symptoms and expect you to make them feel better. People don't go to the doctor when they are healthy or feel fine. That is why the name "healthcare" is a misnomer.
    There is no greater truth. The transition to natural game really should take place sooner rather than later. The whole PUA market is just completely insane these days. Always some new gimmick or system and I see guys who I corresponded with on forums YEARS ago still buying the latest crap when looong ago they should have been through that newbie crap and on to strong natural game and spent all that money on life improvements such as a better place, nicer car, better clothes, etc.

    Some guys have bought my warddrobe 2 or 3 times over on PUA stuff. Ridiculous.

  4. #4
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Finally closed number with no nervousness. Followed Neil Straus

    You guys are absolutely correct and immortal is absolutely right about everything.

    For me though just getting a number has been an exercise in frustration. But having some sort of say stool to step on is a great way to move forward.

    My attitude towards the whole pua thing is like infancy- we all learn to crawl first as a stepping stool to walking. Learning easy ways to get numbers even if they are techniques is a great way to reduce the anxiety so that i can remove these artificial psychological barriers towards my goal of natural game.

    I definitely want natural game but I feel like I've robbed myself of so much past experiences that I need to read on these things to accelerate my learning. Guys with 10 years of experience are well ahead of me when I'm 28 and the last kiss I had with a girl was when I was 21- 7 years ago and that was painstakingly done - and a disaster. I want to learn everything I can and practice all I can so that when I move to the big cities (hopefully Dallas) I can work on using that game to meet beautiful women.

    I want to feel comfortable as a short person. That is my ideal goal. Everyday is fine, but I want to work on it so that when I see another guy I won't automatically think damn even if I talk to a girl she's going to skip out on me for the next 6 foot guy.

    What can I do so that I can reprogram my mind away from these negative thoughts. Is there something I can do daily that can let me view myself in a more positive light instead? Something I can do instantly to refocus and then decide- I'm a great guy forget his height I am great for my own natural energy. How do I project that? Thats what I want to master. If I master this then I am my own revolution.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Finally closed number with no nervousness. Followed Neil Straus

    Good job man, keep it up! You'll realize that all this game stuff starts getting easier once you start trying new things and seeing the results.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

    willedward.com

  6. #6
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally closed number with no nervousness. Followed Neil Straus

    Jayk,

    I recommend you to check out Mark Manson. I can't cover everything in what he teaches, but he has a book called "Models: Attract Women Through Honesty" and his online seminars pretty much goes over it in detail.

    Mark Manson was a PUA but it just didn't work for him. What he teaches is not "game," it's self development and how to develop true confidence. My examples of why the reliance on PUA external game is not good is from him.

    In his book, being vulnerable or showing vulnerability is the cornerstone of true confidence. It's an eye opener.

    For example, rather than coming up with lines like "what can I say to sound cool or witty to this girl" just walk up to her and say "I saw you from across [X] and you caught my eye, I just wanted to come over and meet you." This is Direct/Honest/Vulnerable/Genuine. This shouldn't be a science.

    HOWEVER, in what I refer to the art of seduction, there is a technique to it. Just like in martial arts, such as Brazilian jiu jitsu, and it is a skill. And when two grapplers, grapple each other, it is like a chess match.

    In PUA, I feel that it is important to learn certain skills/techniques. In fact, I started with external game. But really, when you cut all the extraneous crap out, all it came down to is how to be fun and challenging to women, rather than looking at it so clinically. And to be honest, there is more don't than do's.

    One of the things I specialize in is the "language of emotion" How to be speak playfully/how to have an attraction conversation. Most guys are logical and they tend to speak to women logically. Unfortunately, the female mind is different. In essence, you are learning how to speak to women's emotions directly.

    Believe it or not, this is a form of self-development. I think of it as learning a second language. For example, if you learned Spanish, you will have to rewire the way you normally think right? The more you do practice and apply it, you eventually develop fluency. To be able to switch tongues...Speak to women emotionally and then go back to your med school jargon during the day. Wow.

    Lastly, there is an area I call "Middle game" It's basically adopting traits and becoming that guy that women desire. What are these traits?
    1) Be dominant (not the same as domineering/control freak)
    2) Be challenging
    3) Be competent
    4) Be genuine/authentic (nice Mark Manson crossover)
    5) Be mysterious
    6) Be sexual

    Eventually, your external game and internal game will meet in the middle.

    As for your negative thoughts, I am not sure what kind of negative thoughts you have. But everyone has insecurities. Someone who says they do not is in denial and is unable to show vulnerability. The first thing you need to do is be honest with yourself and identify them. Acknowledge them and embrace them. Once you do this, you can move past it. If you resist them, all you do is reinforcing them. So if you are short, then that is what you embrace.

    It's the whole principle behind Batman in the Dark Knight. He's fearless because he embraces fear. If someone asks Batman "Are you ever afraid?," he can show vulnerability and honestly say "All the time."

    And if a girl is not into you because you are short, then that is NOT on you. Don't think of it as a rejection because it is not. That girl is not Harvard med school. Rejection leaves the connotation that "we are not good enough." Who is to judge you are not good enough based on your height? Reframe it as "it's an "incompatibility " For a girl to put that much value on a guy's physical attributes that is not a girl you would probably want anyways. She has her insecurities too that she needs a guy taller than her. I see short guys with taller women all the time.

    And don't worry about starting late. I started learning this stuff in 2006 and heavily invested in myself. I am 42 now.

    [cred: Mark Manson]

  7. #7
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Finally closed number with no nervousness. Followed Neil Straus

    Wow more gems posted. amazing. I really appreciate this amazing advice. I have been lurking forums for a long time from a variety of places but never quite got it. I never liked David D's stuff- it always felt superficial and just there but not - like he gave enough info to make you think it worked but nothing that actually did.

    I felt the same way about other forums and posters. but your info is golden.

    For me its my repressed fears from my childhood of being bullied and picked on. All those emotionally damaged states persisted throughout my life (coupled with a challengingly socially inept family).

    But now as I read this info I realize I can move forward and slow steps are helping me for sure.

    I bought the book. I saw it before but always was afraid it was another gimmick.

    The only guy I trust has been Strauss as his tell all was very honest and a description of basically me.

    it doesnt have to be 6 foot guys only dating beautiful girls. It can and should be everyone who is good and decent.

  8. #8
    JackSarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally closed number with no nervousness. Followed Neil Straus

    Well that's really what it is all about. Now that I think about I have so many canned openers and millions of routines I have yet to try because I am so good at N-closing already. Anyway girl I met at the Club added me on FB and I tagged her on FB announcing to the world she was coming to my tattoo cuz I really don't give a crap. I went to the Gym for women and a lifer and getting tatted for women. Women have been coming up to me lifting up my shirt without my offering so why wouldn't they do that when I was non-tatted and skinny? Now they never complain about me being skinny.

    Keep hearing they hate smokers so hey I am going to quit that too. Doing what the majority wants has really been working for me. I had so many GF's stalking me at work they had to be told to stop. And I am going out less right now cuz I am working more to cover my tatt and a little bored till I get this next one then I will be in full fury. My current chick from the Club said I can have her anytime I want. So the Tatts, Gym have paid off and this time last year I was doing good but not this good. Literally 5 hot streak of 100% n-close rate on 8-10's. Going up to six soon but this chick coming to my tattoo is already in my orbit so I don't have to go out for a while since I got her on lockdown.

    If she was gone I would be going back out but it is buying me time to my next tatt. She already agreed to a concert too two months out. From just two text messages!! So as you can imagine I am getting better better better. Numbers are easy and relationships are hard. So just going for relationship stuff since it seems the only way to get laid these days.

    For instance some broad hit me up on Tinder and I said I was ready to hang and she boned out. But again I think it was cuz I jumped the gun but I don't care cuz I have no time for all of then and some I will try to flash game them to bang them and some the slow burn to relationship bang them. Girls have all these lame dudes blowing up their wall and when I am on FB they single me out and then post they entire feelings about me calling me a "dog that has his eye for every bish". Natural game is where I have come but PUA is still the groundwork I fall back on all the time when I am getting burnt out on my own steam or losing creativity. I mostly come up with all my own openers but may try some others just for fun. In the end my Oneitis is completely gone cuz I have gone PUA. To clarify I just sent a message to that model asking her why she said stuff like that about me.

    Getting numbers is just the start and that's all I could pulled off last year converting 100 approaches to 30 numbers and 1 date. This year I have done 15 approaches got 6 numbers and dated 4 out of 6 of them. So something changed drastically like I said dating, hooking up, and hanging out are the way to convert your numbers into action. I have gotten so good at my stuff I got chicks on reserve. The 5th is the one I have on hold till I get my stuff together. So a lot has changed. I still suck online though man that bites.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  9. #9
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Finally closed number with no nervousness. Followed Neil Straus

    jack- I have to ask what you are trying to tell me and what I should learn from it? I'm a bit lost as to how to interpret your comments.


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