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Thread: Letting go of the past?

  1. #1
    JackSarge's Avatar
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    Default Letting go of the past?

    How to proceed? Still can't let it go. A year later and the 10 from the Bar and the HB9 Cocktail Waitress are always on my mind. Last year the Cocktail Waitress tried to hookup with me then bailed and was in total denial and will never talk to me on FB after that. The same with the 10 from the Bar. Was friends with both of them on FB and screwed things up and got removed. Now stuck in no man's land sending messages into the abyss with no return no matter how dramatic or extreme. Nothing works on them and I am haunted by my past cuz these were two perfect situations that were my fault where they were trying to get at me but my fear success was getting in the way of believing they liked me so they walked away. Now every thing is perfect with the new 9 but I really could care less I played my cards perfectly. I just want the old flames? Is there any chance? I will see the Cocktail Waitress at a couple shows and at the Club. I will never see the 10 again. I can always move on but it bugs me that they never block me just let me talk to thin air. What purpose does that serve? I am getting so good with the new stuff but I sucked last year and I am trying to reconcile myself. Any help???
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  2. #2
    JackSarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letting go of the past?

    And no matter what I do to medicate it, it doesn't go away! Had a 45yr old GF, 3 work GF's, and a 9 on hold. Can go out and get numbers and dates anytime I want. Still I always fall back on them as my fall back girls!!
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  3. #3
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Letting go of the past?

    this seems like a high anxiety state based on a a prior mental construct about yourself- ie you are blaming yourself for what has happened and believe this is your fault. If you re-orient this as an excellent learning opportunity and reframe it you may be able to change your perspective.

    The HB9 HB10 are great- but should they really deserve the HB10? Do you consider yourself a 10? if you dont consider yourself a 10 why should anyone else be (even if its just one characteristic- intelligence, empathy, looks)? I dont consider myself a 10 in any category. No one is.

    Also, this is an excellent place for you to learn about how to talk to other future HB10s by using your past experience as a learning opportunity.

    Another thing I've learned is that FB connects are a bad way to proceed no matter how good you are. i think if you can make a habit of never talking to someone on facebook who u are romantically interested in this maybe a good way - and not friending anyone ur interested in.

    don't worry about the messenger- me- a noob. See if anything here is of value, if not discard and continue.

  4. #4
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Letting go of the past?

    Letting go of the past?

    Lots and lots and lots of alcohol.
    I'm just kidding. Kind of.

    Talk to other woman. The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else. Just make it, lots of other people.

  5. #5
    JackSarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letting go of the past?

    Sadly you are right bud. Lots of alcohol, lots of tatts, and lots of new women is the only way to fix this. But I always see the Cocktail Waitress and will probably run into the 10 at the Pool Parties when I start attending? I dunno will go for it again when I see them sounds crazy but they just want to watch me suffer on FB and we used to be such good friends! Actually 3 chicks I can't let go of. All past big fark ups. Tons of new chicks but these 3 I cannot let go. Was gonna wait but screw it back to the Bar this weekend. I better being it with the 10's next time.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  6. #6
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letting go of the past?

    I feel like a d1ck but everytime you bring up tattoos jack i can't help but chuckle. I'm a terrible pua in your corner.

    As for letting go of the past. It depends on how you want to let it go. Do you want to let it go based upon breaking things down and understanding the painful meaningless it really stands for? Or do you want to chaotically blur the lines now through abusing yourself in social circles with newer emotional and physical scars to make the current tradegy less tragic. You can achieve it--it just depends on how you want to get to there. Take your pick. They're both fun and painful.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Letting go of the past?

    Tatt's don't make you a man Jack. Decisions make you a man. Your ability to respond. Life is not about chance but change. To move on you must change. The 'perfection' of your ex's is only in your mind and in reality you know you deserve better than them. It's not about 9 or 10. It's about you and someone who likes/loves you for who you are.

    Most guys are insecure and can't make brave decisions. Look at clint eastwood. It's in the eyes and the mind, not the bicep. Bar girls are mostly insecure for similar reasons.

    To change I recommend concentrating on your core inner virtues rather than the outward physical appearance of life. Be cool in your mind not on your skin. Don't give a fuck about your past. It's gone. Get over it and go and start tuning new exciting girls. Girls that want to hear from you rather than wasting time texting the past with no replies. Learn from your ex's. They are ignoring you because they are brave enough in the mind to make that decision. You must do the same.

    Keep Sargin!

  8. #8
    JackSarge's Avatar
    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Letting go of the past?

    Quote Originally Posted by artandale View Post
    I feel like a d1ck but everytime you bring up tattoos jack i can't help but chuckle. I'm a terrible pua in your corner.

    As for letting go of the past. It depends on how you want to let it go. Do you want to let it go based upon breaking things down and understanding the painful meaningless it really stands for? Or do you want to chaotically blur the lines now through abusing yourself in social circles with newer emotional and physical scars to make the current tradegy less tragic. You can achieve it--it just depends on how you want to get to there. Take your pick. They're both fun and painful.
    I agree I guess? Dunno but I started my whole Outer Game plan of appearance, car, and pad. I got my Dream Car so that's down. We are in the midst of the tattoos for the next couple yrs then probably won't bring it up after that. I still am focusing on my Inner Game. I could score numbers from 9's before so that's not what I am saying. An overall rehaul. Yes my Inner Game needs work and act better in the moment when they are trying to hookup with me which is where I failed.

    Not to mention but the Cocktail Waitress just blocked me for the 2nd time. Oh well, but I will still run into her? AWKWARD. Anyway the 10 still hasn't blocked me so at least I know I still can try holding out for her. Also I got poked by some super hottie today so I think I am on the right track. This is my self-improvement project and in the years to come you will see a different PUA more advanced than before I hope! The chick who poked me I poked back and sent a friend request but no message and I am already blocked? Wtf? She was chasing me that sucks. The 9 from the Club likes my status and pics more and more everyday so yes I think I am becoming a better man since people are calling me all kinda cool stuff with these new tatts but when we finish my sleeve I'll be way more confident and happy in my own skin sounds shallow I know but it's what I want for myself. Right now I feel like a project in progress but seeing more and more interest growing in the hearts of women.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  9. #9
    WillEdward's Avatar
    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Letting go of the past?

    You need to ask yourself what you really want. If you really have true feelings for her and you're not coming from a place of scarcity, you should go for it but be outcome independent. Continue gaming other girls and invite her out to social events so she sees you have pre-selection.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

    willedward.com

  10. #10
    Fire Eater is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Letting go of the past?

    You think you are the only one who has had missed opportunities with women? I think everyone here has, including myself. You will meet other women, and likely run into better women. They won't go with you, tell yourself it's there loss.

    My advice would be to try to learn form your past and move on. The past can be a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

    Good luck


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