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  • 1 Post By SiliconMagician
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Thread: Too much to go to a bar just to see a hostess and ask her out?

  1. #1
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Too much to go to a bar just to see a hostess and ask her out?

    There's a girl that gave me strong IOI when we first met. I gave her the cold look the second time. Both at the bar she works. But I want to ask her out. Is it too much for me to go up to her and ask her out just for her- would that appear weak, or if i do it with confidence it doesnt matter? I just want to know what it feels like to ask a girl out directly.

  2. #2
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Too much to go to a bar just to see a hostess and ask her out?

    Quote Originally Posted by jayk238 View Post
    There's a girl that gave me strong IOI when we first met. I gave her the cold look the second time. Both at the bar she works. But I want to ask her out. Is it too much for me to go up to her and ask her out just for her- would that appear weak, or if i do it with confidence it doesnt matter? I just want to know what it feels like to ask a girl out directly.
    Don't be surprised if her IOI's were because you were a customer and her a hired gun. "Hired gun game" is almost a specialty within general game. It can be quite difficult to pull bartenders, strippers, and other hired hands simply because, like a good PUA, they have so many options.

    Go for it! Just don't be discouraged if she says no.

  3. #3
    JackSarge's Avatar
    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Too much to go to a bar just to see a hostess and ask her out?

    Never go direct. Social Proof , become a regular and talk everytime you see her. One time shot is a shot in the dark and I never advise unless they ask you. The Cocktail Waitress tried to pick me up after talking to her and seeing her for a while but again I got the bartenders phone number because I Social Proofed and waited till the right timing. Going direct is too awkward. Make it subtle. This only applies to Hired Guns but other variables exist.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  4. #4
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Too much to go to a bar just to see a hostess and ask her out?

    Hmmm,

    mixed signals here.

    Well, here's my planned approach- natural approach. See her, say Hi, loudly and clearly, walk to her confidnetly, maintain eye contact. Arms on her shoulder then around her. Then I've been wanting to talk to you since I met you (something along those lines) then, I want five minutes of your time- lead her to bar stool, sit with her, ask her who she is etc etc arms on her, then on her leg etc and then tell her listen I have to get going. hold her hand, ask her to write her number down. Then ask her to walk me out. Then when I'm out ask her to walk me to my car- you owe me a walk etc etc.

    Then at the car my face is around hers in a hug and im slowly kissing her cheek, i look her in the eye. say Im glad we met and then leave.

  5. #5
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Too much to go to a bar just to see a hostess and ask her out?

    Quote Originally Posted by SiliconMagician View Post
    Don't be surprised if her IOI's were because you were a customer and her a hired gun. "Hired gun game" is almost a specialty within general game. It can be quite difficult to pull bartenders, strippers, and other hired hands simply because, like a good PUA, they have so many options.

    Go for it! Just don't be discouraged if she says no.
    The thing is this was a closing operation- I dont think she had a reason to be flirty when i was just asking her for the hours and a card.

    While its true when i saw her again she seemed more reserved- but all the eye contact makes me think maybe she was shy?

  6. #6
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    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Too much to go to a bar just to see a hostess and ask her out?

    Quote Originally Posted by jayk238 View Post
    Hmmm,

    mixed signals here.

    Well, here's my planned approach- natural approach. See her, say Hi, loudly and clearly, walk to her confidnetly, maintain eye contact. Arms on her shoulder then around her. Then I've been wanting to talk to you since I met you (something along those lines) then, I want five minutes of your time- lead her to bar stool, sit with her, ask her who she is etc etc arms on her, then on her leg etc and then tell her listen I have to get going. hold her hand, ask her to write her number down. Then ask her to walk me out. Then when I'm out ask her to walk me to my car- you owe me a walk etc etc.

    Then at the car my face is around hers in a hug and im slowly kissing her cheek, i look her in the eye. say Im glad we met and then leave.
    This will end in disaster mark my words. You cannot pre-plan their reactions or the situation. You can assess the situation and decide your approach method when you are in the venue. You don't sound like you know how to handle it properly and will probably psych yourself out and make things very awkward. Chicks like spontaneous not some huge master plan. Guaranteed you can get the number a lot easier. But try it no hurt in trying but you will not be present in the moment if you act like this.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  7. #7
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Too much to go to a bar just to see a hostess and ask her out?

    Quote Originally Posted by JackSarge View Post
    This will end in disaster mark my words. You cannot pre-plan their reactions or the situation. You can assess the situation and decide your approach method when you are in the venue. You don't sound like you know how to handle it properly and will probably psych yourself out and make things very awkward. Chicks like spontaneous not some huge master plan. Guaranteed you can get the number a lot easier. But try it no hurt in trying but you will not be present in the moment if you act like this.
    I just meant it as an idea- like the display of confidence. I have no assumption that it will turn out like that but i wanted to show my intentions to be physical. Def plan to make it spontaneous.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Too much to go to a bar just to see a hostess and ask her out?

    Go ahead and do it.

    Don't do it when she's busy. Do it before prime time bar hours, or right when the bar is closing down/after hours.

    Just be confident as hell & genuine with her. She won't be used to that, with drunken idiots hitting on her all the time.


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