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  1. #1
    IgotID44 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Chick stood me up - advice on how to handle?

    I'll try and give you the sparknotes the scenario here.

    Met this chick a couple weekends ago through a friend, we clicked, I brought her home and we go the distance a few times that night/next morning.

    I text her a couple days later, shes kind of cold. So i'm like whatever, not worth my time if shes not interested.

    Then she texts me Thursday night, I make her laugh a bit, jokingly say when we are meeting up for round 2. She says lets do it tomorrow night. Likely just meet up for drinks when our friends. Super casual.
    Around 11, text her no response, try calling her once, no response. Oh well, meet some other chick that night and go home with her.

    Next morning I text mrs flakey and just say "Tony Ditcher." Shes says i'm sorry I got super drunk, blah blah. Whatever I don't respond, she texts back a bit after and goes I don't work Monday night. So I say alright lets hang Monday then. (I should mention she is super hot, one of the hottest i've had, so I really would like round 2). Anyway she agrees, plans to chill Monday (tonight).

    Monday - I text her this afternoon what time are you free? She says - As soon as I finish this essay. I have to do a bit of stuff so it may not be till later. I text back so what time are you thinking? No response. Text her at like 7:30 "So whats the deal?" No response.

    So ya i'm a little annoyed, plenty of other stuff I could have been doing, as I had buddies that wanted to golf, and haven't seen my folks in a few weeks. Just looking for the best way to handle this.

    A couple options in my head:
    1. Ignore her, cut off all contact.
    2. Text and her and tell her she messed up, and I value my time, and dont dig people that cant keep their word, so don't bother.
    3. Wait for her to text me and, tell her #2.
    3. I should mention she left her leather coat at my place the first night, so she is going to need to grab that at some point. Another option is play it cool - make plans either to meet up again, or for her to grab her coat, and then just not be home, and give her a taste of what its like to get blown off.

    Any advice, is good. Keep in mind she is hot, and would like to get her as a regular, but at the same time I've got values and don't take to kindly to getting jerked around.

    Thanks gents.

  2. #2
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Chick stood me up - advice on how to handle?

    You're coming off kinda needy & pushy towards her. She might be genuinely busy & isn't purposely trying to be shitty. She is trying to set up times.

    But at the same time it's also disrespectful.

    I'd personally go number 1. She'll contact you eventually. Calling a girl out over text is NEVER a good idea. Best done in person from my own experience.

  3. #3
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    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Chick stood me up - advice on how to handle?

    I'll say that f you plan to contact her--don't show any negative signs of bitterness. At the most continueto tease, build comfort and try to set up something to meet up for. If you try again and she flakes, on your third try tell her to lead because its obviius somethigs up. If she flakes a third time i'd say give up unless she's already making room for you i her schedule.

    The most important thing is to hold the frame of interest in meeting her in person. If it gets awkward then switch subjects to something else and then see about coming back
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Chick stood me up - advice on how to handle?

    I would ignore her completely. If she wants the coat she will have to come and get it from your bed. Don't mention the coat, let her chase you for it. Don't be revengeful, she didn't scratch your car or anything.

    Over the last few weeks I've been super busy traveling and my band has been playing lots of shows. I didn't get around to inviting several girls to the concerts and they have all been texting me desperately (because they saw my band photo posts on FB etc) 'can I come to your next show?', 'How come you didn't invite me??', 'The show looked awesome - I want to see you play!', 'When are you free this week?'. Because Ive been busy with work too I have dropped off conversation with certain girls and even forgot completely about one really hot girl. After a few days she starts texting madly for attention "I am your fan! I want to see your show!" (she was somewhat wary and cold before this). In your case you are in the position of those girls so you need to try and reverse it back to you being the desirable 'cool' one rather than her being the 'super hot' one. Rather than saying 'when are you free?' say 'Im gonna check out this lounge bar friday, meet me there 7.30pm'. If she flakes, go there anyway with someone else - friends or another girl 'friend' and post photos of it. You don't need to tell a girl you value your time because you demonstrate it in your actions.

    If a girl can't make a date I usually just say 'ok' and nothing more. I get on with my life and have fun regardless. They will see that and usually want to be part of it. If they don't I delete them.

  5. #5
    Robdoggyzone is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Chick stood me up - advice on how to handle?

    Hey man - She seems to be genuinely into you but you guys barely know each other & she's busy. Never understimate how busy these girls are, especially hot ones! Just play it cool man maybe you could text her something like - No news from you - If your essay didn't kill ya then we should go celebrate, this is what cool people do.

    Just take it easy man & dont overthink its gonna kill you - Just text & get on with your happy life!!!

    Good luck

  6. #6
    IgotID44 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Chick stood me up - advice on how to handle?

    Appreciate the advice guys. She just texted me:

    "Hey sorry about last night. I definitely want to chill though soon if you still want to"

    Whats the play here?

  7. #7
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    Bimmer is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Chick stood me up - advice on how to handle?

    Quote Originally Posted by IgotID44 View Post
    Appreciate the advice guys. She just texted me:

    "Hey sorry about last night. I definitely want to chill though soon if you still want to"

    Whats the play here?
    I would say something like, "could be a possibility, I'm busy the next week, maybe two though. Get a hold of me (some date)".

    You're not telling her no, but you're not saying yes... you're making yourself look too busy for her right now which is ok because she's been too busy for you. Play it off cool, don't bring up her bailing, & don't be upset about it. Make her case you a little & keep the ball in your court.
    I wish I was little bit taller
    I wish I was a baller
    I wish I had a girl who looked good
    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC


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