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  1. #1
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Is it ok to date women with issues- needy, self esteem etc?

    Is it ok to sleep with these women? Anytime I meet a girl and she starts to play her self down (self esteem issues) I get turned off immediately. its not so much that I attract them as that I go to them (i guess because before i even know them they give off an availability vibe that makes it easier to approach)- they're usually not hot or anything but just ok enough for me to find them sexually attractive but nothing Id want long term.

    Then when they tell me these things I run away (past drug use, poverty, life, etc etc) and its a turn off. I want to know if it is alright to sleep with them and not necessarily date them or promise them anything.

    Is there a way to let them know this but still get sex (ie- not turn them away in other words even though I have no intention of anything long term and they may not be into pure casual sex)?

    That is, they're into me, and maybe want me, but may not be into only sex.

    I know guys who go out with those kinds of girls- see them for several months (girls with abusive bf etc) and want a guy whose easy to sleep with- the guys do it for 3 months but afterwards they're like just friends- as if nothing happened and the girls not upset hes not with her.

    How does this happen?

    Should i not be summarily rejecting these girls?

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Is it ok to date women with issues- needy, self esteem etc?

    As far as I know, I haven't come across a woman that hasn't had some serious issue lol. You just have to choose which ones you are willing to accept when it comes to getting serious. Self esteem issues are not as bad as drug issues imho. (Alot of women have self esteem issues anyways.)

    As for, if you should sleep with them, why not? Maybe you're a guy that doesn't like to lead a woman on. That's fine cause I'm like that. Or maybe you just don't want to miss out on sex. That's fine too. I'm the same way. I have a solution for you.

    If a woman that you aren't sure about wants to get serious and you do not, but want to continue seeing her simply tell her you have a 6 month minimum requirement before you make a big decision on becoming exclusive. This works in both favors. It gives you ample time to figure out if you want to be exclusive (who knows you may change your mind about her) and it weeds out the ones that would only give you trouble yet you want to see them for a bit longer without giving them a title.

    I myself have NEVER lasted the whole 6 months. I either change my mind (or they change it for me) within 3 months and she's my gf or she just isn't for me and only lasts a few months even after I tell her I want to wait to see what happens between us. Win-win.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

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