Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 15 of 15
Like Tree2Likes

Thread: How to communicate properly and control what you say

  1. #11
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,719, Level: 43
    Level completed: 85%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 53.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    820
    Points
    4,719
    Level
    43
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Rep Power
    238

    Default Re: How to communicate properly and control what you say

    You froze because you decided to over think instead of simplify and let it be known that you have interest. Its ok to show your interest. You dont win if you dont gamble. So gamble!!!

    Intelegent men tend to get really great long winded ideas as to why things will never work before approaching a girl while a dumb guy could just approach and talk to her because he doesnt know any better about the risks that the intellegent guy over thought about. It pays to play dumb some times.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  2. #12
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,582, Level: 56
    Level completed: 16%, Points required for next Level: 168
    Overall activity: 55.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered5000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Cali
    Posts
    450
    Points
    6,582
    Level
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    293

    Default Re: How to communicate properly and control what you say

    but a lot of girls are shy and nervous.
    I find this highly unusual in your case. How many girls are you approaching or have approached? If it is less than 100, then not enough to even make that assumption.

    But let's say that is the trend you are encountering, there could be many factors. Geography could be one. Location of where you are trying to pick up is another. If you are at a club, many girls are there just to have a good time. They are there to meet men as well. Just look at the way they are dressed. It's not for their own sake.

    Not sure what town you are in. I assumed you live in TX. I found girls in Dallas and Houston very outgoing. Girls in Dallas don't even play the game. They are very forward.

    If you ever watched "Keys to the VIP" a very fun PUA show where 2 PUAs compete, you will see more girls receptive than shy. The show takes place at clubs in Toronto, Canada. Go check it out on youtube.

    IF the location is a factor, then try fishing in a different pond. Travel to Vegas during your break...or even Dallas.

    Even with CBT Sometimes i find excuses not to talk to a girl.
    You are not the only one with this problem. Lot of guys coming here had/has this. Indifference is a coping mechanism for anxiety. It's not a male bitch shield. Behaviors inform actions and you will subconsciously do that naturally IF you have value and what is called "abundance mentality." Girls like this you need to practice flirting and being fun and challenging. Your social energy was low and that is what happened. Many introverts have this problem. You just need to exercise those "muscles"

    Don't be afraid of so called "rejection." Even if you get turned down 7 out of 10, it is still good. That means 3 out of 10 you succeeded. Even 1 out of 10 is a good start. Just keep upping your numbers. The most successful people are those who fail the most. Just look at Babe Ruth. At one point, he held record for the most homeruns but also the most strikes. That's where the famous quote came from "Every strike leads me closer to the next homerun."

    What I found is it becomes easier every time you do it. And to be honest, it actually becomes fun.

    But if you need an extra crutch like I did, this is where I started off practicing the language of emotion - strip clubs. The girls approach you. Hell it is their job.

    As to how to talk to women, Jason Capital has a good book out. "Make Women Want You." There is an free accessory with it called "Charm Bible." Simplified form of what is in MeHow's book.

  3. #13
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 259, Level: 5
    Level completed: 18%, Points required for next Level: 41
    Overall activity: 99.8%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    124
    Points
    259
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    20

    Default Re: How to communicate properly and control what you say

    Quote Originally Posted by I.M.Mortal View Post
    I find this highly unusual in your case. How many girls are you approaching or have approached? If it is less than 100, then not enough to even make that assumption.

    But let's say that is the trend you are encountering, there could be many factors. Geography could be one. Location of where you are trying to pick up is another. If you are at a club, many girls are there just to have a good time. They are there to meet men as well. Just look at the way they are dressed. It's not for their own sake.

    Not sure what town you are in. I assumed you live in TX. I found girls in Dallas and Houston very outgoing. Girls in Dallas don't even play the game. They are very forward.

    If you ever watched "Keys to the VIP" a very fun PUA show where 2 PUAs compete, you will see more girls receptive than shy. The show takes place at clubs in Toronto, Canada. Go check it out on youtube.

    IF the location is a factor, then try fishing in a different pond. Travel to Vegas during your break...or even Dallas.



    You are not the only one with this problem. Lot of guys coming here had/has this. Indifference is a coping mechanism for anxiety. It's not a male bitch shield. Behaviors inform actions and you will subconsciously do that naturally IF you have value and what is called "abundance mentality." Girls like this you need to practice flirting and being fun and challenging. Your social energy was low and that is what happened. Many introverts have this problem. You just need to exercise those "muscles"

    Don't be afraid of so called "rejection." Even if you get turned down 7 out of 10, it is still good. That means 3 out of 10 you succeeded. Even 1 out of 10 is a good start. Just keep upping your numbers. The most successful people are those who fail the most. Just look at Babe Ruth. At one point, he held record for the most homeruns but also the most strikes. That's where the famous quote came from "Every strike leads me closer to the next homerun."

    What I found is it becomes easier every time you do it. And to be honest, it actually becomes fun.

    But if you need an extra crutch like I did, this is where I started off practicing the language of emotion - strip clubs. The girls approach you. Hell it is their job.

    As to how to talk to women, Jason Capital has a good book out. "Make Women Want You." There is an free accessory with it called "Charm Bible." Simplified form of what is in MeHow's book.
    Awesome advice here.

    I'm not in Texas- though if I was I would be SOOOO Happy. I aim to move to texas next year though.

    No, I am actually living in a very very rural backwards state with no major cities. I will leave it at that.

  4. #14
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 259, Level: 5
    Level completed: 18%, Points required for next Level: 41
    Overall activity: 99.8%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    124
    Points
    259
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    20

    Default Re: How to communicate properly and control what you say

    It could be shyness, or it could be me being overly approaching.

    Tomorrow I'm going to meet this same girl at the restaurant and talk to her. Thats my goal.

  5. #15
    Naughty Napoleon's Avatar
    Naughty Napoleon is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 294, Level: 5
    Level completed: 88%, Points required for next Level: 6
    Overall activity: 88.2%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    85
    Points
    294
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    20

    Default Re: How to communicate properly and control what you say

    Quote Originally Posted by jayk238 View Post
    Sometimes I have a tendency to say things I probably shouldnt or may seem socially awkward. Nothing awful just really cringe worthy afterwards.

    I think a lot of it used to be hearing them said or variations of them in certain contexts and using them out of context.

    I have a text message exchange for example that took place recently. I want to know if this phrase is inappropriate or weird to say:

    her: I guess I was pretty ugly in those scrubs then?

    me: You mean all those days you were in short shorts showing off your silky smooth legs or those tight pants? Yea I was checking you out.

    me: you're not insecure are you because then we shouldnt even talk.

    And our texts continued, eventually she stopped responding (though it was all flirty after this)- it was night and she did say she was going to sleep.

    A week later i texted how she was doing (we are very far apart) and her first response was- hey i asked my parents and you can stay at our house in december bla bla.

    I asked how her break was and she said im doing fine, just studying ha.

    I didnt ask much but I wasnt sure if what I said was too inappropriate?

    I just feel like I'm hit or miss.

    I was flirting with another girl and she had forgotten my name but didnt want to be rude so asked for it in a clever way while texting. (we later met up and went on a few dates and made out). This is how it started-

    me: hi
    her: hi, i lost my phone and lost all my contacts can you please give me your name again i dont know who this is

    me: oh haha, I'm ben, I met you at the bar last week i was so helpless when i saw you in that sexy skirt (my name isnt ben)

    her: haha, i dont recall this, haha, I wish I did though, I didnt realize I made an impression, lol.

    Our exchanges continued on -and actually I thought the flirting in this one and with the other girl went just fine.

    I just didnt feel as concerned about this exchange as I have felt with the other one.

    Was I too sexual?

    Why is it that my filter works sometimes and other times it doesnt?

    A lot of times I notice myself having an idea form in my head of what a funny comment would be so i quickly say it but it wont always come out right. Is there something I can do to control this?

    I've noticed with CBT I have less anxiety so maybe i used to blurt things out out of fear I wont say it if I think too long-

    Hi Jayk, I just finished my conversation series, which I touch about your issue in my first guide: how to talk to girls to get them intrigued to you.

    But I had set this post to publish at this Saturday, so keep an eye on it.


Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Similar Threads

  1. How to alpha communicate with new exwife.
    By Doctodd in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 113
    Last Thread: 08-29-2013, 07:52 AM
  2. Brief field report: Is this progressing properly?
    By konman in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 12-30-2012, 06:59 PM
  3. How do I properly implement this freeze out?
    By Rschmitz1985 in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 10-20-2012, 11:49 PM
  4. How to text a girl properly
    By PersianGodfather in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 06-15-2012, 03:32 PM
  5. How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate
    By sakim in forum General Questions
    Replies: 13
    Last Thread: 03-07-2012, 05:59 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com