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  • 1 Post By artandale
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Thread: I have new found feelings for my ex after a year...way forward?

  1. #1
    Spooner is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I have new found feelings for my ex after a year...way forward?

    Hi guys, will try to keep as brief as i can, all advice is appreciated

    (Im 18 now) Ok flash back just over a year ago i was in a short (about 3-4 months) but committed relationship (we were eachothers first just so you're aware)

    I was a total AFC then. I was clingy, too texty-texty, too intimate etc (basically i was the b**** of the relationship) after a while she gave me the cold shoulder. In response after about 3 weeks of it i broke it off with her (i could tell she was about to break up with me at any moment.. I did it to savour the little dignity i had left).

    1 week later i begged for her back.

    I was inexperienced and i lacked self respect. Sitting here now writing the above text truley sickens me to the stomach knowing i was like that.

    So 1 year later, the past year consisted of me:

    -vowing to change, i never wanted to get trampled like that again. (I quickly got over her after the begging)
    -getting a great job
    -buying a new car
    -doing more, socialising, meeting girls, dating girls
    -reading 'The Game' by......you know the man
    -adopting alpha male characteristics and applying knowledge i learned in the game

    In that time ive been to parties, friendly gatherings and meet ups where my ex is present (shes part of my close-knitt circle of friends)...she would always ignore me in the early stages (during that time I've felt no feelings towards her as i was too busy being the ******* man)


    So here i am typing this now...

    In the past month or so i dont know why but im a little interested in her again, and i think she might fancy me a bit too, ive changed alot since last year. My main IOI's are light touching, leaning her head against my shoulder, asking me to take a 'selfie' with her (ewwww) etc...note i only recieve these IOI's when shes drunk at parties.

    Usually i wouldnt care but im intreeged...i dont have a case of one-itus and this isnt a 'help me get my girlfriend back' thing....just latley i almost feel i want a second chance just to in a way 'conquer' her once and for all. I dont necacerilly want to get back with her, perhaps just a 'send off' if you get what i mean.

    We've been texting a little latley which is very rare aswell, i make sure to stick to my guns and keep the texts short this time.


    What im asking is what can i do to seize this attraction? What can i do to increase her attraction towards me?...from what you've read to you think she's perhaps even a little attracted to me?....whats the way forward

  2. #2
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I have new found feelings for my ex after a year...way forward?

    You sure you were the only one to make faults in the relationship? You seem to be giving her a lot of credit. Id say make her earn it and jump through hoops.

    If you just want her to be attracted to you be flirty but and escalate to a push pull. Leave it hanging and begging for more. Break rapport more than building comfort
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I have new found feelings for my ex after a year...way forward?

    Seems to be a lot of these threads recently - guys wanting perfect closure from a past relationship. IMO it's still a sign of weak inner game. It's not a way forward, it's sentimentality and embarassment about the past.

    Do you want her to come up and tell you how great you are now? You don't need validation except from your own mind. You have to be clear in your intentions, decisions and what it means for both of you. If you are trying to re-write the past it sounds more like insecurity or even revenge. If you are seeking attraction you already have it. If you were each others first loves, and if it was good, she will likely not forget about that. If you really have matured and she really is still attracted to you she will let you know. If you did too much before, do nothing now. Live your life full of fun and people will naturally orbit around you.

    Move forward by looking at the road ahead instead of the rear view mirror.

  4. #4
    Naughty Napoleon's Avatar
    Naughty Napoleon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I have new found feelings for my ex after a year...way forward?

    Give her a good sex and respect her outside the bedroom.

    That's the basic of a relationship.

    Be a man that she view as an authority figure, that's basic of how to keep a girl.

  5. #5
    Spooner is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I have new found feelings for my ex after a year...way forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    Seems to be a lot of these threads recently - guys wanting perfect closure from a past relationship. IMO it's still a sign of weak inner game. It's not a way forward, it's sentimentality and embarassment about the past.

    Do you want her to come up and tell you how great you are now? You don't need validation except from your own mind. You have to be clear in your intentions, decisions and what it means for both of you. If you are trying to re-write the past it sounds more like insecurity or even revenge. If you are seeking attraction you already have it. If you were each others first loves, and if it was good, she will likely not forget about that. If you really have matured and she really is still attracted to you she will let you know. If you did too much before, do nothing now. Live your life full of fun and people will naturally orbit around you.

    Move forward by looking at the road ahead instead of the rear view mirror.
    True words, thanks will take this on board

  6. #6
    Spooner is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I have new found feelings for my ex after a year...way forward?

    Quote Originally Posted by artandale View Post
    You sure you were the only one to make faults in the relationship? You seem to be giving her a lot of credit. Id say make her earn it and jump through hoops.

    If you just want her to be attracted to you be flirty but and escalate to a push pull. Leave it hanging and begging for more. Break rapport more than building comfort
    I cant really remember but I'm sure she was to blame also, if im honest i dont truley know what i want... I'll go away and think about it. Whatever i decide i'll stick to and if she doesnt like that (or any girl for that matter) then they can kindly 'do one'

    Thanks for the advice


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