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  • 1 Post By BatMan
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Thread: Am i being toyed with by this girl?

  1. #1
    Stealthy_hubert is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Am i being toyed with by this girl?

    okay so heres the downlow, been talking to this girl i used to work with. She is more of the conservative quiet mousey type girls but she is a HB9.

    i previously asked her to come out 2 other times but they were kind of on the spot to join me such as " come out tn me and my buddies etc...the first time she was too "tired" the next time she acted like she got my message the day after.

    i recently bumped into her and she gave me some kino and a few IOIS.

    now i have asked her out in advance "you free on this day"

    she responded with where do you wanna go ?
    i mentioned a restaurant and she didnt wanna go there because of someone who worked there that was making it awkward for her last time.

    i then said somewhere else we could go and ask her if she was free on this date and now she stopped responding..im not sure what this means or if shes gaming me . its like she is on the fence as to whether or not to go out with me like shes making a big decision..its kind of like she didnt wanna directly answer the question she was beating around the bush

    how would you handle this type of ordeal? is she just not interested or something

  2. #2
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am i being toyed with by this girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stealthy_hubert View Post
    okay so heres the downlow, been talking to this girl i used to work with. She is more of the conservative quiet mousey type girls but she is a HB9.

    i previously asked her to come out 2 other times but they were kind of on the spot to join me such as " come out tn me and my buddies etc...the first time she was too "tired" the next time she acted like she got my message the day after.

    i recently bumped into her and she gave me some kino and a few IOIS.

    now i have asked her out in advance "you free on this day"

    she responded with where do you wanna go ?
    i mentioned a restaurant and she didnt wanna go there because of someone who worked there that was making it awkward for her last time.

    i then said somewhere else we could go and ask her if she was free on this date and now she stopped responding..im not sure what this means or if shes gaming me . its like she is on the fence as to whether or not to go out with me like shes making a big decision..its kind of like she didnt wanna directly answer the question she was beating around the bush

    how would you handle this type of ordeal? is she just not interested or something
    There is this sort of matrix in dating. This other side that you have to experience. Ive seen the matrix and I can tell you that neo does not approve.

    You are too focused on her. And I guarantee your interest had overwhelmed her. If you want to date her you need to show you dont care. Move on.

  3. #3
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Am i being toyed with by this girl?

    I don't think she's playing games. I think your game is lacking. Not to come across as an insult. But you have to see the sticking points. In summary your conveying too much interest too soon. Focus on building her attraction for you first before showing yours. There's plenty of attraction building material on this site to reference. I'm sure you still have a shot so don't walk away yet.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
    Stealthy_hubert is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Am i being toyed with by this girl?

    Sorry for the confusion just didn't want to get a life story going... I froze her out for 2 weeks since she last " flaked". I've been disqualifying her and negging her hardcore. I'm just not used to the whole her being shy. She seems more like a quiet girl

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am i being toyed with by this girl?

    Yes you have to build enough attraction that she really wants to go out on a date with you or is engaging with you positively in conversation (instigating messages etc).

    Make it easy for her - use a time constraint 'Let's go for a quick drink thursday'. Sometimes dinner is too formal or too much investment. Or show less upfront interest 'Im kinda busy this week but I could do a quick drink thursday'. Almost say it like you are responding to her asking you out, even if she didn't.

    Be persistent. If a girl doesn't respond to me when organising a time/location I will write back to her again prodding for an answer. I always try and lead it strongly and convince her to come if she's on the fence or busy 'C'mon! It will be fun! I know I'll make you smile. Quick drink...and I want to hear more about your recent trip too'. You have to be a saleman sometimes. At the very least even if I get a 'no' I can move onto someone else and I am not wasting time and energy. I put my cards down and if she doesn't bite it's her loss. I then ignore her and if she really was having a bad/busy week she will come back to me the following week chasing.

    Just be very clear and decisive in your intent otherwise it comes across as lacking confidence.

    If you have her number start messaging her again and perhaps dont mention the date thing again just yet. Just rebuild attraction and make her laugh, start getting her opening up.

  6. #6
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am i being toyed with by this girl?

    I think i'm the only one here who assumes that she was willing to go ot because it was a friend scenario--previously hinting towards that was the fact that you had other 'buddies' there at some gathering... When you flipped the switch to involve the word 'date' you scared her off and now she's unsure of your intentions.

    For you to freeze her out does you no good--freeze outs are only useful when she's attracted to you. She wont notice your freeze outs like how they're meant to be used; in which they're used to correct the behavior of people so they give you brief attention so you can kind of restart gaming them in a smaller timeline with previous history.

    For you negging her has possibilties but you have to becareful. If your negs arent playful and enticing then you're likely to push her away. It will make you sound like you're frustrated.

    In my opinion i'd treat the past as no big deal but tease until she gives in, into hanging out. You also need to read her properly because she might be afraid of the idea of dating. So ease it and calibrate your approach based on her interest. If shes all in then give it the dating label. If shes still filtering herself around you then go for 'hanging out'
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am i being toyed with by this girl?

    As artandale said negging may backfire, especially with a shy girl. You're better off complimenting her.


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