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  1. #1
    yinyang is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default RECOVERY HELP - Was close to closing - Girl next door

    Here is my situation...basicall y met a girl in my neighborhood and hit it off...like incredibly. We started hanging out vibed REALLY well, she started saying how she liked me in so many ways physically/emotionally. Long story short, we end up making out one night so I'm thinking it's in the bag but this is where things actually start going downhill...

    After that night I dont hear from her for about a week. Finally, she calls me over to meet in the park one afternoon and explains that she really really likes me but admits that she had been seeing someone, she doesn't consider it exclusive, so maybe we can try again in the future and still wants to hang out but she doesnt want to cause any confusion...(if that doesnt sound confusing enough, considering we were already seeing eachother as well).

    I know it sounds bad, friendzone w/e you wanna call it, but I know the chemistry is strong, havent had a connection with someone like this in a long time (her words, I feel likewise but kept it cool as of late...until this happened).

    Now onto logistics...she's always been non responsive to calls/txt (even when things were going great) as in one of those few people that despises cell phones and never pulls out her cell when busy (working/single mother) or doing something with someone (I can vouch). That makes communicating alot harder. I use to be able to keep my cool but after what happened Im a little flustered...saw her walking the other day-on her phone so decided to test and call but she didnt pick up. Did the most AFC thing ever and txtd that I saw her on her phone and called her out on ignoring me. She replied that she was sorry she was on the phone with her mom but I basically look really needy now. Tried to recover by saying my bad and asked her to hang out later which went unanswered.

    Sorry for the novel, but how can I come back from this? Any other girl I wouldn't hesitate to phone/txt but I already know she treats her phone like a beeper which she may or may not get back to. I have the advantage of bumping into her in the neighborhood but after this last incident I feel like I might come off creepy. And lastly, if I do thankfully recover I'm not sure which frame to play? Act like I don't care? Should I start going harder and plow through her non exclusive relationship? (Since I did get close but didnt seal the deal the first time, my bad) or should I just keep playing it cool and bide my time?

    I know I should probably disengage for a good while...but in my experience that has never helped...especially since more time away from me means more time spent with some other guy...its just frustrating we had so much chemistry and now its down to this...

    Thanks for listening, any input appreciated

  2. #2
    Trunks's Avatar
    Trunks is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: RECOVERY HELP - Was close to closing - Girl next door

    I would say try to back off for a little while.

    if you can "accidently" bump into her in the hood again it would be good.
    But don't come off as needy at all.
    be super cool.
    It seems like she likes you but she knows she can have you and maybe feels like your not going anywhere anytime soon. Your an OPTION for her.

    You have to somehow project that you are pre-selected and wanted by many women,
    get her to chase you.

    it may be hard or late for that now.

    but in my experience especially before I joined "the game"
    I remember having great connections with girls who liked me, and I showed them too much affection/attention/neediness that they made a complete 180degree turn.
    this made me even more crazy girl.. thus screwing up even more AFC style.
    months later she saw I was seeing several girls, dating girls, talking to girls. going out being social. she began texting me asking to meet up all the time... which I did. and realized that im too good for her

    the game is a beautiful thing
    don't get oneitis (I believe they call it).
    if she does like you, She'll come to you especially when she risks losing you for good... and if not.. who gives a fk

  3. #3
    WillEdward's Avatar
    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: RECOVERY HELP - Was close to closing - Girl next door

    Why didn't you go for the full close the first time you made out with her? Things become way easier when you strike while the iron is hot. She is really into you and it seems now she is now backwards rationalizing what she had done with you and weighing in her other relationships. You already know you came off as needy when you called her out on ignoring your phone call. You're now in recovery mode. Easiest thing to do is to just game another girl but if you really want to see her, the next best thing to do is to not intiate contact with her for a couple weeks and then invite her out to a social gathering where you have pre-selection and game her normally to a close.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

    willedward.com

  4. #4
    yinyang is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: RECOVERY HELP - Was close to closing - Girl next door

    Yea thanks guys your both totally right. I shouldof known better and went for the full close when I had the chance but ya "one-itis" totally had me off-game. God forbid there's ever a girl that lets us drop the game lol. Didn't want to fall back but I know there's not much I can do at this point. Just sucks because I know her and this tactic doesnt work (tried it before lol) but I'll definitely have to game some other girls and display pre-selection for sure.

  5. #5
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: RECOVERY HELP - Was close to closing - Girl next door

    Full close wouldnt help. Its a small reward. Unless your goal is small rewards. Which is fine. But the way you're reacting to her freezing you out seems more like you've got oneitis.

    I think its too late to use the friend zone slayer guide. I think where you are now is to take responsibility for acting like an idiot and calling her out and being needy. This is where you friend zone her. From here you best chances are fo sell her on the idea that she's best with you while you game. Never make any real advances and get her to chase you. Use preselection and build your game with other girls. This is important because you want her to chase you. By gaming other girls infront of her you'll know if she's still into you if she pouts or fights for your attention. Worst case scenario is that you've gained a friend.... But even thats not terrible because you've gained access to her other friends to game on. Only small sighted gamers focus one that one girl rather than what you really have oppurtunities for when you game everyone. Anyone you meet has potential for more people to game even when you're gaming that one girl but kept an open mind.

    My suggestion is play the game and dont be played by your emotions. Learn that your emotions are how your mind gauges situations--never react based on your feelings. Decipher them.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.


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