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  • 1 Post By WillEdward
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Thread: Taking advantage of Approach Invitations during the day

  1. #1
    joneiljack68 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Taking advantage of Approach Invitations during the day

    I am new to this and I want to improve my life and get more women in my life. So this has happened to me already 3 times. I will tell one story out of the 3:
    I see huge approach invitation from girl (HB8): Like really trying to get my attention, smiling at me and keeping eye contact.
    I go there, I put out my hand and immediately she tells me her name (I don't even remember what I said). She seems really into me, lots of IOI's, so I figure to go into A3, since A2 is all about interest. So I ask her what she does, etc. she replies (college student), then I tell her what I do (college student), and then it's like they become too shy and unresponsive. When they do this I try to engage them with stories, they still keep on smiling and yet they have that shy face, and become unresponsive.
    And because usually this happens on the bus or train, this can only last maximum 10 minutes or so. So when I go for the phone number, they refuse! In such a short time, it goes from "omg I hope this guy talks to me" to "no, sorry". I realize, actually, that if your game is good that this shouldn't happen in the first place. I'm also probably rushing for the phone # too fast since if it's over I'll never see her again anyway.
    So here are my questions:
    1. Given this story what can I be possibly doing wrong and why is it so hard?
    Here's what I think I could improve:
    - Be more flirty and have more engaging stories and not just small talk about what they do
    - Still DHV but only as something in a story
    - Don't rush, since I feel like I'm rushing sometimes, because of the actual time constraint of her getting off or me getting off.
    - Make a gambit for asking for a number with an intention to meet, that is also slick and flirty.
    (i.e. the pull out a paper and pen and tell her I'm leaving be creative...)

    2. When you get approach invitations, how far on a scale of attractiveness do you take them? i.e. already in A3 if you get a really good approach invitation, or you have to start from scratch, i.e. build attraction? If you're in A3 do you still have to DHV or do you just screen/push/pull? I mean in my case they still don't know anything about me, it was all based on looks and what I wear.

    3.

    Have you ever had issues with girls being shocked and become super shy when you talk to them during the day? I had this girl even start shaking from anxiety when I started talking to her on the bus. It seems like they like you a lot.... but yet they have this shyness that holds them back and makes them freeze or something. Any idea how do deal with this?

    4. Do you still neg if they are attracted to you given what I've written above?

  2. #2
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    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Taking advantage of Approach Invitations during the day

    Don't DHV or talk much about yourself. Get her to invest in you by qualifying her. She is already interested and attracted to you so you don't need to break much rapport and definitely don't neg. Set up an activity and date and have her text you right there to get a solid number close or just go for an instant date.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

    willedward.com

  3. #3
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Taking advantage of Approach Invitations during the day

    It would be unusual for a girl to show lots of interest and then not give out a number. Possibly you are not reading their signals accurately or you must be creeping them out during conversation.

    On a bus is somewhat embarassing, especially if its full of other people that can hear the conversation. Maybe try a stealth method, or get off on her stop for the sake of it and approach on the street or talk to her like you are already friends to relax her. Who cares if she is shy, just be warm, honest and confident.

    It may also be to do with how your organising and framing your mind. You describe a lot of PUA code ('If Im at A3 is it ok to go for the 10/4 GRC and the SE for some LVR or should I neg at A2 whilst building R&C?'). PUA is not baking a cake with exact measurements and scales, it's more like a stir fry or pasta where you should ultimately be yourself and do it instinctively.

    Your body language is important. Smile, look her in the eyes and make her laugh. If you make her laugh she will instantly relax a bit and not be so shaky. Make sure you introduce yourself and give some kind of details that switch you from being a stranger to a great guy. You don't necessarily need long stories, just a few witty remarks or quick references as to what you do, what you are good at or where you are from. Make sure you haven't got bad breath or body odor

    Also just because a girl looks at you in an inviting way, you are still the one approaching. If a girl actually approaches you and starts a conversation it's a bit different and you can easily act aloof and she is forced to qualify. If you are doing the actual approach it's really not much different to any other situation. You need to escalate it towards a solid connection. If a girl is attracted to you she will give you her number no matter how long you've been talking, unless you act or say something creepy.

    Leave negs until a date is setup. Tease a little if something situational comes up like if she says or does something stupid. You want to make a good first impression, be relaxed and don't try too hard or rush it through a mind sequence. Make sure you have fun and are a positive guy and don't worry about the number. Aim to have a great conversation and if the vibe is good only then ask for the number, almost as an afterthought.

    I also agree with WillEdward - try get her qualifying and investing in you. Even though you are approaching, you have to remind yourself of her IOI's (if they are genuine) and that you are the catch. Therefore you are simply 'investigating' her to see whether YOU will take it further, rather than seeing it as HER being in control and whether she will take it further. Think of yourself like a great white shark investigating prey...it checks it out and could absolutely rip it shreds...but it circles, cautiously first...'is this a psycho girl? Is this girl too shy and shaky? Are her thighs too fat? She's wearing yellow gum boots...'.

  4. #4
    joneiljack68 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Taking advantage of Approach Invitations during the day

    Thanks guys! I agree with both of you on what you have said. Really good advice! I really haven't developed any material about qualifying her, screening her, etc. My gut feeling is that I probably bored them by trying to qualify myself too them too much, even though it wasn't from a needy frame.
    One thing I'm curious about:
    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon
    " creeping them out"
    What does this actually mean? Not being a weirdo, right? I do have some intuition about it but just making sure.
    As in, as long as you are calm, cool, laidback, etc. all the alpha-male characteristics, and talk about interesting things, creeping out shouldn't be an issue correct?

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Taking advantage of Approach Invitations during the day

    Quote Originally Posted by joneiljack68 View Post
    What does this actually mean? Not being a weirdo, right? I do have some intuition about it but just making sure.
    As in, as long as you are calm, cool, laidback, etc. all the alpha-male characteristics, and talk about interesting things, creeping out shouldn't be an issue correct?
    Yeah...I have no idea of how you're talking to them and I'm not saying you are a weirdo. I just mean it would be unusual if a girl gave genuine signs of interest and then refused to give her number unless something was drastically wrong like you said something racist, said too many canned lines, talked only about yourself egotistically or had bad breath etc.

    Ask her some key questions that start her talking about her life and be a good listener and lead off those subjects or link yourself as having similar interests or attitudes. 'Is it a good job?', 'Oh you dance? how does that make you feel on stage?', 'Yeah lights on stage can be hot, I play in a band and its really hard work in summer'. You can also get an idea of whether she'll give out a number by saying beforehand 'Hey it's nice meeting you' or 'Hey it's good talking to you'. She will have to respond and in most cases (especially if she has been talking about herself a lot) she will say 'Yeah me too'. Then you can ask for her number. If she really says 'no' then she's being a bit of a prude (or has a partner) but you can handle that in a number of ways (none of which actually phase you because you dont care, it's ultimatelys her loss) such as: 'Oh so you don't like talking to me haha... liar! (playfully poke her or give her a scolding look)' or 'Really? It's just a phone number, I'm not asking you to marry me haha'. Or don't ask immediately for the number but invite her to something exciting 'Hey I'm having a party this weekend, Why don't you come?'.


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