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Thread: younger co-worker need help mixed signals

  1. #1
    Mjgpd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default younger co-worker need help mixed signals

    ok first off I know I should not be concerned with one girl, but she is the one I want so... I have many girl friends and have created high value in myself with the HB 9, my co-worker. This is a girl that I have natural conversations with and have established rapport, and only recently started flirting with her and light kino. She has been responding favorably. Yet there are mixed signals when I get to the actual go out with me. She shows interest and even drops light sexual innuendos, yet she will not commit to going out. There is always and excuse and they are valid, or seem so.

    There is a definite push/pull relationship and strong sexual tension. She is a virgin so this throws in quite a monkey wrench in my game as I'm not sure how far to push things, and the fact that we work together with many other woman that I know desire me makes things complicated. She won't let on towards me around other woman, but when we are alone the tension is strong.

    I know she likes me and sees me as high value, yet I am quite older than her. She is 22 I am 33. I went to get coffee from her this morning, as she is a barista, and after the formalities she tells me how she broke a nail looking for her apple remote in a friends couch cushion? She drops the "his" couch cushion and even says it was at 9 last night. She even said I don't know why I am telling you this.

    So obviously I take this as way of letting me know she is at another dudes house and is telling me to back down. I guess?

    Advice please!

    Should I confront her and be like, "Obviously I have been trying to get you to go out with me, is your convo with me about a "friend" a hint?" A direct approach? I have enjoyed playing games, but I tire with them, but she is worth it in my eyes.

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: younger co-worker need help mixed signals

    Should I confront her and be like, "Obviously I have been trying to get you to go out with me, is your convo with me about a "friend" a hint?" A direct approach? I have enjoyed playing games, but I tire with them, but she is worth it in my eyes.
    don't be stupid.

    here's what's happening,

    she's flirting with you for validation. odds are she's a girl who likes to have options. but she's also the kind of girl who only dates one guy at a time.

    I'm going to say that she's been on a couple dates with the other guy and she's not sure where that relationship is going.

    she has you as an option, but the age difference probably has her thinking that the guy who's closer to her age is a better option.

    to make matters worse, you're falling head over heels for her when she just sees you as an option.

    your best strategy is to keep fliriting with her and friendzone her. sleep with as many other girls as you can in the mean time and maybe she'll one day see you as the man she wants most.

    don't get too emotionally attached. its always a recipe for disaster.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: younger co-worker need help mixed signals

    Guys are notorious for imagining a "relationship" in their heads, and getting super hooked on a girl before there are any real interactions/connections.

    I know from experience because, I used to do that.

    When a guy imagines that a girl is his gf/partner/fb etc.. His brain begins to send signals to the body to produce oxytocin & endorphins... It feels good, and can be addictive.

    And in HIS head, the two of them have a great thing together... But in reality, there's nothing yet.

    That ends up with the guy being totally devastated & crushed when the girl doesn't have reciprocal feelings.

    Keep it REAL.
    You'll save yourself a LOT of disappointment & heartache.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
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    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: younger co-worker need help mixed signals

    Don't take things too seriously and definitely don't confront her for her supposed "hint". You will be just falling into the neediness and reactive frame. I generally don't recommend gaming co-workers as it may cause some unnecessary waves and drama. If still insist on gaming her, do so in private and ask her what her schedule is like and pick a time when both of you are free.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: younger co-worker need help mixed signals

    I have had to cut them off at work. I get hit on the break room, parking lot, hallway, at the entrance to my department, in my department. It is such a problem I have had two meetings about the girls monopolizing me. I have been asked out and had more numbers thrown in my face than I can count. My last work GF was 18 and I am 31. Anyway age doesn't matter but man she was immature.

    It is not a challenge any more. I have girls screaming and hollering, interrupting my peace and quiet to tell me "she wants you", then to have girls ask me out all the time. You are obviously too insecure about because I had a hb7 going from "I am dating someone" comments to breaking up with him on FB and saying "we had a chance" in a matter of 1 day. But she was all over me. I got rid of her too and she still calls me her favorite but I stopped texting her. So you obviously didn't do something right and let it affect you unless you hear "BF" never worry. Also I have a 9 on lockdown and it's not all that great cuz she wants so much dang attention and was crying this morning about how she missed me. By the way I just came up with my opener for the HB9 at work who switched departments. She was ready for it today but I had no opener. Now that I have my opener I am armed and ready to get at her. I dropped a ton of chicks at work for being needy, stalkerish, crazy, etc. Cuz I love a good challenge! This girl that switched is hard to get at, so I like that.


    This is why I love 10's but I only seen 2 this year so maybe it is a lost cause...go for it. That's what I am doing.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  6. #6
    JackSarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: younger co-worker need help mixed signals

    The importance of a good opener cannot be over-stated. I used my "opener" today on that HB9 broad at work. It went swimmingly well. Not only did she sit down for a chat, she went over on her break, said that I was hilarious and since I closed her right got her number and said "I might add her on FB one day". Due to me having a chick on lockdown already, another HB9 on FB already set for my tattoo I decided not to add this chick. So I got one on lockdown and one in the background.

    Friggin lovely! That easy. Man I made that look like a cake walk. 7 for 7 N-closing! On a roll!
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  7. #7
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: younger co-worker need help mixed signals

    I dunno Jacksarge, I'm not sure if you are like Stephen Colbert in on a running joke that doesn't lose energy, or if you are totally sincere. Your comments are either like a hot air balloon of humor that keeps rising or stubborn confidence thats bursting at the seams in one tiny bubble.

  8. #8
    JackSarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: younger co-worker need help mixed signals

    Wtf, no idea what you are trying to say mate. My game is going platinum. I have never been this good with women. All I am saying and what I'll be saying for a while..is this. I got game. I understand you are new here and seen quite a but of frustration coming from the posts sounds like you are down on your luck but I don't lie. I like to tell stories how I perceive things but it is all true. I get rejected enough to keep me humble.

    Not to mention I just had a falling out with the bartender who always gets me in the Club for free so I have been dealing with a lot of heartbreak but been trying to move on like the PUA's told me even though it seemed impossible. So just to remind you I am very hurt right now but trying to battle with that.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  9. #9
    Mjgpd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: younger co-worker need help mixed signals

    Thanks for the replys! Ok I understand the stupidity of confronting the Hb9 directly, but although there is an art to pu, there must be a time to be more direct about situtions right? I have in many ways always been a natural. Maybe not a pua, but woman have always thrown themselves at me, and I have rejected far many more woman than I have even been with, this in turn naturally wants them want more.

    As far as falling head over heels when I am just an option to her this may be true, but I know without a doubt she likes me. This is not some bs guys make up in their head. The work situation is very complicated as there are like 30 women and I am the only man.
    Its been about six months since I have worked there and I know without a doubt many men would have been fired by now.

    These girls love me and I let them come to me, and just be myself, shit I call all of them crazy and they farking love it. They talk to me about how their bfs suck etc.. some call me their bf and I play along teasingly. The first month I worked there 5 or 6 left their bfs. I pretty much just friend zoned them all in order to meet their friends. It has worked like a charm.

    I go out with 2 3 5 of these girls at a time and everytime I do it draws the eyes of more girls and guys. It has been a great summer. The hb9 is super guarded, I don't believe she flirts for validation. She is super subtle and as crafty as a fox. She hates drama and knows that I go out with many of the girls and everything I do is seen by all of them on social media. Which is a pain in the ass.

    Her comment about being at a guys house is a direct shot at me, and I believe it is her letting me know. "Hey I have options too!" I have obviously fallen for this girl. She is a challenge whereas the others are easy and I have no real interest. I am looking for a relationship not a fb. She is what I want because of many things, but also for the reason she does not throw herself at me. She is very smart and no dumby to guys games, and I am sure she already assumes I am a player. Which in reality I am not! I love woman I do not play them to fark them, Im looking for the real deal.

    I have undoubty let this hb9 know I like her, but she is weary of me being a player and the drama that already surrounds me at work, on how the women act toward me. I am pretty sure a girl got fired last week because of her interactions with me at work. If I was to sleep or date any of the girls it would be an instant scandel, known by all.

    My point and question is. I want this girl to know it is her and only her that I want, she knows players and won't put up with them. That is a reason I like her. I didn't play and flirt with her enough like the other girls and have recently switched tactics. I don't want to be in the friend zone, so I have stepped up my game with inuendos while texting her and been calling her trouble. I told her I saw a glint in her eye. (She is a good girl,) but I see her wildcat side, and called her on it. And she loves it. She actually appluaded me in a text for doing so, which is totally out of her character to let on. She was telling me to keep it up.

    Days ago I texted her about doing yoga with me. When I put in the innuendos though, (and they were only slight) she replied "well I work I am sorry " Which she did and I waited a time to reply, I saw she instantly looked at my text, but never responded. I just told her the beauty of yoga is it can be done anytime, and that is why I mentioned future rendezvous.

    I figured I had to freeze her when I saw her at work the other day because I pushed to hard, but she was the one who intiated with me so I went along. We are back at the status quo!

    Do I keep pushing the envelope with her? Which could get me fired potentially is she decides game over, or do I freeze her out at this point? Or let her know it is her I want above others? Which I know I will be told that is a mistake.

  10. #10
    Mjgpd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: younger co-worker need help mixed signals

    ya and I work with her tonight one on one, so I know she is just as interested as me to see what will happen. Kinda feels like a make or break point! Things have definetly been escalating! If I play too cool she will see disinterest, push too hard she may run for good. There needs to be a move forward at this point one way or another I am sure of that.


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