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  • 2 Post By whitedragon

Thread: How to deal with underhand comments from others?

  1. #1
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default How to deal with underhand comments from others?

    I usually meet guys at various locations and get along with them. For example, at the gym I go to I met a guy in his late 20s whose an alhpa male and very confident in himself. He never puts me down and we always get along fine. In fact we have a positive attitude with each other...which I think is great. Honestly when I first saw him I thought he'd be a douche because of my pre-existing pre CBT attitudes towards tall alpha males. But because of my own confidence (and my resulting projection of it) I approached him and we get along really well. This was never the case before. I would always have difficulty maintaining conversations with others and let my insecurities get to me.

    On the other hand hteres another guy who I got along well with. He's a good looking guy, short like me who works there but is really young-19 years. He has a tendency to make underhand comments like oh girls only talk to you cuz you're a med student....drawing attention to the idea that thats only how I get girls....I always laugh it off and dismiss it. I usually don't bring up chics but when he does we just shoot the shit about it.

    How do I deal with these types of people. Do I just play it off like its nothing? or do I make a comeback? What does someone with true confidence do? I feel like I can go in any number of directions. A part of me wants to make fun of him but really he's just a 19 year old kid whose insecurities come out more than anything when he says stuff like this. I dismissed it at the time...

    but as I use this forum I realize I can get information from others without having to learn the hard way. What to do in these situations thats ideal- ie doesnt get to you, project confidence etc.

    I have a really easy time getting along with almost anyone and my humor makes a funny guy. But when I get tested- thats when the cracks start to show.

    When my friends rib me I always rib back. But when my insecurities are hit thats when its a challenge. Even though I dont feel insecure today- I feel that my old habits or behaviors due to my insecurities creep up.

    Im just curious as to how to behave in these situations as a new me.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with underhand comments from others?

    Brush it off & don't give a crap what anyone else says.
    AND....You don't owe them an explanation.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to deal with underhand comments from others?

    That was my attitude to. Also, I shouldnt reward poor behavior. before I used to go up to the same people and keep talking every chance I got. but I realize- that act alone is an act of insecurity- because I dont go out as much (studying) I would keep talking to these people even if they devalued me.

    now, I think what I'll do is (and not as a game but as a mindset) just mind my own business. If they respect me they will realize that they should approach me and show me friendship and wont as easily put me down. Its when you cheapen yourself by throwing yourself at others - even guys- that it makes it easy.

    The alpha is actually a really outgoing guy and a decent man because he's confident in himself. i think thats amazing. thats the attitude I need to be succesful. Women dont like him because he's tall. Its because he's confident.

  4. #4
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with underhand comments from others?

    There's nothing wrong with approaching people, and actually you SHOULD.
    Just don't do it to seek validation from anyone... Do it to be social & have fun.

    Remember, not everyone will like you, nor will they always understand you, but that's OK.

    TRUE Alpha men make other people feel valuable, while expressing value themselves.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How to deal with underhand comments from others?

    How well does that guy actually know you to make a judgement? If people want to rag on you they'll always find a reason: you're too fat, too skinny, too big, too short, etc. In your case, it was being a medical student. You yourself said he is insecure. People tend to make others feel the way they do, and if they feel terrible, they can make others feel that way.

    Just try to act like their comments are the last thing in the world you could care about. You could try a delivering a shot back with a smile with those comments as if you find them amusing.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How to deal with underhand comments from others?

    What people say to try to hurt me does nothing to me because i'm my own worst enemy. I know what they are telling me is what i already know. Its not new. I'd be more surprised than upset by what people say. Being surprised gives me more of an upperhand to dealing with people because it means that they have to try harder to hurt me. I laugh it off.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  7. #7
    jayk238 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to deal with underhand comments from others?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fire Eater View Post
    How well does that guy actually know you to make a judgement? If people want to rag on you they'll always find a reason: you're too fat, too skinny, too big, too short, etc. In your case, it was being a medical student. You yourself said he is insecure. People tend to make others feel the way they do, and if they feel terrible, they can make others feel that way.

    Just try to act like their comments are the last thing in the world you could care about. You could try a delivering a shot back with a smile with those comments as if you find them amusing.
    This is what I always do- laugh it off. Just wasnt sure if I should do something else.

  8. #8
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with underhand comments from others?

    Laughing it off is an ok move. Theres no reason to not game the crowd to your situation when you get negged even if its not by your target
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  9. #9
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to deal with underhand comments from others?

    Same with everything else. 100% confidence.

    'Girls only talk to you because you're a med student'
    You: 'absolutely!'
    You: 'No girls talking to you? Poor thing'
    You: 'they talk to me because I pay them '
    Etc etc

  10. #10
    WillEdward's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with underhand comments from others?

    I sometimes talk shit with friends or even random strangers, as long as it is in jest. If somebody (guy or girl) breaks rapport with you, you break rapport back. Be non-reactive and have fun with it.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

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