I've been together with my GF for 4 years. We split up at the beginning of the summer since she felt that I was too needy/clingy. She was also looking for constant validation from other men via Facebook/Instagram.
When I asked her why is she doing that, she told me that I'm not enough intimate with her and she feels that I don't care about her.
I think she has/had personal issues and she is just 21, so probably some sort of GIGS as well.
Anyhow, we broke up at the beginning of the summer. Were in LC and she constantly told me that she wants to get back together and fix herself and become a better person. However, she didn't take any actions.
Well, time went past and I decided to get over from her and I went NC for 20 days. She went completely nuts about it, she sent me letter, emails, text, phonecalls telling me that I'm the best thing in her life and she can quit everything and quit talking to other men all together if I just take her back. At first I was sceptical about it, but it was continuous and even her mom called me and told me that she hasn't eat properly for weeks and she is constantly crying.
At this point I thought that I should really give her another chance.
We met and talked a bit. I found out that she was hanging with another guy for a while and I told her that I'm not accepting this. She told me that this guy is only her friend and they don't have anything.
I snooped a bit and found out that this guy was flirting with my ex and wanted to start a relationship with her, but my ex refused. However, they still hangout and I think she have friendzoned this guy. Should I be worried about it?
How should I treat my girlfriend now? Should I act calm, relaxed, nonchalant or should I tell her EXACTLY what to do - quit talking with this guy, quit seeking validation etc (she promised she will do that if we get back together)? I don't know which side to choose. Perhaps I should just wait a bit and see what will happen? Any help would be much appreciated
Was together with my ex for 4 years, broke up since I was too clingy/needy. She was constantly looking for validation from other men and doesn't seem to be interested in me. We broke up and I went NC. She started to become a wreck, cried, tried to get in touch in several ways until I gave up.
She has a guy who she is hanging with. My ex says they are only friends, but I found out that this guy is in love with my ex and wants to start a relationship with her. However my ex refused. But they still hangout.
Should I tell my ex to REALLY change (quit validation seeking, quit talking with this guy) or just see what happens? OR just be nonchalant/calm/relaxed about it?