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  • 4 Post By meteora
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Thread: 4 years together, broke up, now back together - HOW SHOULD I TREAT HER?

  1. #1
    lambert3331 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 4 years together, broke up, now back together - HOW SHOULD I TREAT HER?

    Hi all,

    I've been together with my GF for 4 years. We split up at the beginning of the summer since she felt that I was too needy/clingy. She was also looking for constant validation from other men via Facebook/Instagram.

    When I asked her why is she doing that, she told me that I'm not enough intimate with her and she feels that I don't care about her.

    I think she has/had personal issues and she is just 21, so probably some sort of GIGS as well.

    Anyhow, we broke up at the beginning of the summer. Were in LC and she constantly told me that she wants to get back together and fix herself and become a better person. However, she didn't take any actions.

    Well, time went past and I decided to get over from her and I went NC for 20 days. She went completely nuts about it, she sent me letter, emails, text, phonecalls telling me that I'm the best thing in her life and she can quit everything and quit talking to other men all together if I just take her back. At first I was sceptical about it, but it was continuous and even her mom called me and told me that she hasn't eat properly for weeks and she is constantly crying.

    At this point I thought that I should really give her another chance.

    We met and talked a bit. I found out that she was hanging with another guy for a while and I told her that I'm not accepting this. She told me that this guy is only her friend and they don't have anything.

    I snooped a bit and found out that this guy was flirting with my ex and wanted to start a relationship with her, but my ex refused. However, they still hangout and I think she have friendzoned this guy. Should I be worried about it?

    How should I treat my girlfriend now? Should I act calm, relaxed, nonchalant or should I tell her EXACTLY what to do - quit talking with this guy, quit seeking validation etc (she promised she will do that if we get back together)? I don't know which side to choose. Perhaps I should just wait a bit and see what will happen? Any help would be much appreciated

    TLDR

    Was together with my ex for 4 years, broke up since I was too clingy/needy. She was constantly looking for validation from other men and doesn't seem to be interested in me. We broke up and I went NC. She started to become a wreck, cried, tried to get in touch in several ways until I gave up.

    She has a guy who she is hanging with. My ex says they are only friends, but I found out that this guy is in love with my ex and wants to start a relationship with her. However my ex refused. But they still hangout.

    Should I tell my ex to REALLY change (quit validation seeking, quit talking with this guy) or just see what happens? OR just be nonchalant/calm/relaxed about it?

    Thanks

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: 4 years together, broke up, now back together - HOW SHOULD I TREAT HER?

    Should I tell my ex to REALLY change (quit validation seeking, quit talking with this guy) or just see what happens? OR just be nonchalant/calm/relaxed about it?
    telling her to change won't help you any.
    if she wants to flirt with other guys, why don't you start flirting with other girls?

    you need to stand up for yourself. the best defense is a good offense. chase some other woman around while dating her, if she tells you to stop seeing other girls, then tell her that you will only do that if she stops flirting around with all these other guys.

    then she'll be the one who has to do things on your terms.

    be the man in the relationship. always do things on your terms.

  3. #3
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    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 4 years together, broke up, now back together - HOW SHOULD I TREAT HER?

    go out and sleep with other girls, that's the best thing to do IMO
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  4. #4
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    Default Re: 4 years together, broke up, now back together - HOW SHOULD I TREAT HER?

    Those types of girls have emotional issues.
    It's best to AVOID them completely...

    But, if you're gonna get involved, you have to be the man.
    Do YOUR thing & YOU set the rules.
    Those types of girls are attracted to that sort of guy.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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