I dont have true confidence yet as Mark Manson states.
Women have needs- emotoinal ones. To be succesful men have to connect with those. They provide sex but we have to provide that confidence and happiness to them. When I saw her, I let her take the lead because I decided she knows this place. But instead, I should have held her had and led the way and said 'where to'. I failed to take initiative because I wanted to read her signs. This is a result of false confidence.
More importantly when we sat down at the picnic table she said- I'm having difficulties with my ex. My AFC background and thinking talking about heavy subjects isnt worth it- is bad. When women bring these things up its on their mind. Its important to talk about them.
I asked her to sit next to me, put my arm around her and kissed her. I shouldnt have. when she looked at me to kiss I should have said- "no. there is a weight on your shoulder, i want to take that off. We will kiss when the moment is right." But I didn't why? Because I was so selfish and insecure I wanted to kiss immediately. It was a bad idea.
To be a succesful dater I need to be confident. To show this confidence I need to first look to see if the girl is right for me and be willing to let it go EVEN at a date. but if I want to cling to it and even the physical part- no matter what I do I wont get any action.
Women want to feel that they have a connection with you. This is what I learned. judging them, fearing them, all these things lead to failures.
I know i probably would have gotten laid with her if i let her drive over Sunday. but maybe that not happening was a good thing- maybe this is good for me because this date this failure allows me to actually break it down.
its not about telling her to sit with me or feeling her up or my arm around her. Its about knowing when to take a back seat with that and letting her know Im there for her as well and making her comfortable.
this type of self realization is important.