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  • 2 Post By T-Mal
  • 1 Post By mystique

Thread: Women tell me I am rude.

  1. #1
    Alph's Avatar
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    Default Women tell me I am rude.

    Hey Fellas, Question for the Pro's.
    Ladies I meet lately tell me I am rude, and a jerk. Thats the problem.
    Background: Wouldnt say I am a natural, nor bad with women. I read the game once. I have a relatively high number of women 70+, while this last 3 years has been I have been with 6 women. I have what seems like more lady friends than guy friends. I work in LA as an actor, I have developed nerves of steel, im clean cut, muscular, articulate and educated and make most of my money doing prank phone calls and working at a comedy club. The truth is I think I am busting their balls and my last intention is to hurt their feelings, I always consider myself to nice. I really havent been out in the last year to meet women, concentrating on myself.
    Why Im looking: Im not interested in getting laid lately, I just really enjoy spending my time with beautiful women and seeing them laugh, kinda sappy but thats my favorite thing.

    Last Night a woman I was on a date with said I was horribly rude, and an asshole before she kissed me. Told me I was way over confident, arrogant, and mean. That I am hard to talk to because I dont open up. I was shocked.

    Tonight I met an amazingly beautiful woman who was a bit quiet and nervous, whom orbited our table. Before I left I asked if she wanted to get together another evening. She told me NO, quote said "Honestly you need to hear this, you are unattractively over confident, Childish, insulted my friend and me, I heard you do it, loud, you think you are funny. Im not trying to hurt your feelings but you need to hear this, women want to be complemented and you are just mean and arrogant." I tried to ask when I did these things. She said "dont cut me off. Thats what I mean." I just sort of walked away.

    Its been frustrating because women in LA dont seem to talk and are nervous, though it shouldnt its starting to really bother me. Beautiful women telling me I am a jerk. This is becoming a regular thing. My lady friends always wonder why I am single because they always say I am so charming and funny.

    Can someone fill me in on What The Fuck is going on?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Women tell me I am rude.

    Too much cockiness = douchebag, in most women's minds.
    Being over-confdent is definitely gonna cause you to come across as domineering & arrogant.

    Learn to dial it back & be more genuine & develop a lighter sense of humor.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Women tell me I am rude.

    When you are a really attractive guy, you have to develop a more assertive form of confidence. When you tend to be funny, and it is natural to crack jokes, it is easy to poke fun at others around you, sometimes hitting real insecurities they have and genuinely offending them without meaning to. Cocky-funny needs to be, as T-Mal put it, "dialed back" so that you aren't perceived as arrogant.

    It is great that you feel good about yourself, but you should be letting others notice these things, not trying to show them off. Your confidence should be expressed through actions, and rarely vocally unless you are being assertive.

    I rarely say this, but work on being nicer and just a pleasant person to be around.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Women tell me I am rude.

    I talked with a lady friend about this and she told me, first off that because of the place, and the kind of clientele, and her experience with men around town in general. She probably expected me to buy her drinks and impress her with how much money I tossed around, and the complements I paid, which I ignored that need. I take that bit with a grain of salt.

    Then she pointed out that girl was of course Negging to get a reaction. I was so stupid........ In which I walked away from her, sulked home jumped on PUAForums to get help. IDIOT. The correct response should have been "Hold on, Your nose does the cutest wiggle when you get serious" or something along those lines.

    All things considered current plan: Dial Back - and shut the F up that smart ass in my head thats itching to get out. Be less selfish with the attention of the room. Be more prepared for Negs.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Women tell me I am rude.

    Make jokes about yourself rather than others. Be transparent and vulnerable (do some research on vulnerability or read Mark Manson to get the proper definition of vulnerable)

    This will ensure you are coming across as genuine and funny.
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Women tell me I am rude.

    Quote Originally Posted by mystique View Post
    Make jokes about yourself rather than others. Be transparent and vulnerable (do some research on vulnerability or read Mark Manson to get the proper definition of vulnerable)

    This will ensure you are coming across as genuine and funny.
    Dude this was 2 years ago lol.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Women tell me I am rude.

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Dude this was 2 years ago lol.
    Lol my bad... my comment stands though - I've bumped into/been hit on by too many lads who are rude and arrogant.
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Women tell me I am rude.

    Quote Originally Posted by mystique View Post
    Lol my bad... my comment stands though - I've bumped into/been hit on by too many lads who are rude and arrogant.
    Oh ok I gotcha lol. You are forgiven :P
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Women tell me I am rude.

    HAHAHA Well in any case, this should be said: the woman's right...you need to be vulnerable to make people trust you and to build comfort. Oddly enough, allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a sign of strength. It'll make you get over your insecurity faster if you talk about it... toughening you up in the process...
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.


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