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  • 1 Post By CapPickup
  • 2 Post By whitedragon

Thread: Can't figure her out

  1. #1
    laGran is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Can't figure her out

    Hi guy
    I have known this girl for a few months now. I initially wanted to date her but mistakenly friend zoned myself. I have been trying routines on her to get myself out of that box.
    The biggest problem is she never picks up her phone and takes close to a day to answer messages. At a point I gave up and even deleted her number. .. then she is the one who started coming after me asking for catchups. .. I am a newbie so I haven't been very good at kino escalation. She has texted me again asking for a catch up and I don't want to respond until am sure of how to handle the meetup. She seems like a tester denier based on vin dicarlo categorization. I believe she has many other guys on a leash and has a conservative upbringing. I can't figure if she is an idealist or realist coz she can be dreamy at times but generally very focused on her job and career. I did ask her her attraction strategy and she said she believes in falling in love slowly.
    My question is how do I make it clear to that am not going to be one of her many guys on leash without being rude. I have also wanted to ask her what's up with the texting but I don't want to appear needy. ..
    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    kylemc is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Can't figure her out

    When you say you've been friendzoned by this girl to get out of it would to stop talking to her for x amount of months unless that has been done you're wasting your time,

    From what you say about her asking for catchups this could be her trying to feed her ego etc, that she knows you're leaving her but wants you to chase her like all the other guys don't fall for it give it sometime and if she's still persistent then it could be possible that shes interested...
    "A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything" - Malcom X

  3. #3
    CapPickup is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can't figure her out

    Assert your dominance as a member of the male species.

    Talk as man to woman not friend to friend. The thing about routines is, if it is not aligned with your personality it won't work.

    When you care too much about the outcome of the interaction, 90% chance you're already farking it up. If you believe she has many guys "on her leash" then by all means game other girls.

    The quickest way for this to work is to just stop filtering yourself. Say what you have in mind and calibrate after you say it.
    Next time you see her grab her and and say "Let's go" then go on an insta-date. Remember don't overthink JUST DO IT ./

    (MOTIVE = DLV) Don't think of it as you trying to get out of the friendzone, think of it as you having fun with a girl and see where that leads you.

    You're just beginning to understand the game. Don't rush it and enjoy the process.
    (1 REJECTION = 1 EXPERIENCE POINT) (1 F-CLOSE = 1 EXPERIENCE POINT + PERKS)

  4. #4
    laGran is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can't figure her out

    Thanks guys for the response. .
    First I don't use the routines coldly. I calibrate with the feedback she gives.
    I was going to take the advice of going quite but she has just sent another request to meet up. In all she has sent 3 texts in the last 5 days that I have responded to. I don't want to push it too far to the point she gives.
    But also don't want to meet with her if it won't progress the relationship.
    Any ideas on how to initiate kino given that our interactions so far have been kino less. . Thanks

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can't figure her out

    If she is asking you out, you definately have to seize that opportunity rather than going stale. You sound fearful and it's clear in your words and attitude 'I dont use' 'I dont want to' 'I can't figure...'. Change that immediately to 'I am going to date her', 'I am going to kiss her', 'I am going to make her bark at the moon'.

    Meet up with her asap and ensure you kino. When you first meet touch her in some way, maybe a hug and kiss, gentle grab of her arm or a handshake at the very least then later start physically flirting more. You can touch her arm or thigh when saying something funny or dramatic. Start with her arm 'Hey I tell you a funny story' (grab her arm as you initiate the conversation hook) then later to thigh 'oh you know what I heard the other day?' (rest your hand on her thigh 'my boss said we will get a bigger bonus this year!' (DHV). When leading her through a door hold her waist and lower back. Grab her hands and admire her jewelry and caress her fingers subtley 'Hey your love line is interesting...'. Whisper something into her ear and make sure your lips and breath excite her errogenous zones around her ear and just behind her ear, you: 'Hey I have a secret to tell you' her: 'What? What is it?' (she has to be curious) You: (becon her closer into you, hand around her shoulder to support her and whisper) 'I really want dessert...should we order some ice-cream?' or 'You look really amazing tonight' or 'Is that waiter wearing a toupe?' (or whetever you want to say - it's actually somewhat irrelevent). Or grab her hand and lead her somewhere 'You know this place is kinda boring and (grab her hand) follow me' (lead her outside to a nice location and kiss her). Or it's raining 'come under my umbrella' (hug her into you and keep your arm around her' when it gets heavier rain pull her against a wall or shelter and kiss her. Likely she will be flirting back and enjoying you leading the situation.

    If she is kind of conversative she might like some romance as well. Many guys on this forum seem afraid to compliment a girl but I personally do it all the time. You can be as romantic as you want so long as you have complete and utter confidence in yourself. Women love a man who can take control of a situation and they like to be complimented. You've known her long enough now to stop messing around. Just kiss her with complete conviction and stop overthinking all the negative possibilities or future possible scenarios. Let it flow naturally.

    If she puts up LMR to a kiss you have to keep being utterly confident 'No. Come here' or 'This has to happen, it is our fate'. Slow, fast, high, low - they all deep down like to be swept off their feet. Girls (especially younger girls) often say they want to take it 'slow' but really what they want is something 'special'.

    Be 100% confident in yourself.

  6. #6
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    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can't figure her out

    White Dragon nailed it. Don't listen to the "I like to take it slow" crap girls say. They all like it fast, they just don't want to be viewed as a slut OR they haven't been with a guy that's skilled enough to take it fast.

    Another form of compliment that is not used enough is the nonverbal variety. After I have kissed a girl (only after) I will check out her body right in front of her. I will grab her hand and turn her around and stare at her ass. When she asks me what I'm doing I tell her I'm looking at her ass and that it's really nice. If I'm siting next to her and she has a lower cut shirt on I will look down her shirt then tell her what a good view I have! Women really love it and no other guys do it. Don't be ashamed of liking her body!


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