I separated from my ex about 2 months back, but a couple weeks ago, I may have done something pretty stupid, haha...it's been some time since then, but I'm still struggling to get over it...
So a while back (after the breakup), I gave into temptation and viewed her linkedin profile (I know, I know, pretty dumb...). I did this a few more times since then (terrible idea, all it did was bring back memories of old conversations we used to have). A couple weeks ago I tried to see her profile, but I couldn't view it, nor even see her name come up in the search bar. I think she may have blocked me on linkedin >_>
So one thing I only found out afterwards was that LinkedIn tells you when someone has viewed your profile. Even though I had my profile browsing settings as semi-anonymous, the default setting (it would've showed up as "Someone on Linkedin viewed your profile", as I hadn't filled out much on my profile), I think she may have guessed that it was me and blocked me >_> (at least, that's the only conclusion I can think of. I am able to see her profile on an unrelated friend's account, so I can't think of another explanation at the moment). She blocked me on LinkedIn, Linkedin! ;___;
I honestly don't think I viewed her profile too many times, but I can't be certain, as it was a over a period of several weeks; it may have been several times, maybe consecutive days at some point...I'm really not sure. And that's one part of the doubt that's in my mind.
The problem that I'm dealing with is that I feel like such a creep/stalker...I'm worried that I negatively affected her (by viewing her profile) to the extent that she felt she had to block me; I'm afraid that I'm seen as one of those creepy dudes who follow women around and do weird stuff, etc. I never wanted to be that, but that may be what it's come across as...I do think it was a bit of a overreaction to block me like that (as she doesn't even know for sure it's me), but wow I fked up...If my guess is correct that she blocked me, she probably really thinks I'm a helluva creep now ;__;.
I feel like I've lost my moral high ground by exiting the relationship with some dignity, and not begging and pleading for her back, and making things hard for her (and keeping up 1.5 months of NC)...but now the notion that I've possibly bothered or upset her makes me feel like I didn't preserve my dignity at all...and furthermore probably dismantled any chance of us reconciling as well, whatever she thinks now (as she's probably blocked me).
I don't want to try to get her back or anything like that, but this particular incident has been preventing me from moving on and pursuing the other things in my life (college, job, other girls, etc.) with the passion I used to have. I'm finding it difficult to approach other women, because I may have done something that may have been perceived as stalker-ish and harassing to my ex (though it was not my intention whatsoever)...
Crap, I feel terrible guys...I haven't contacted her, nor do I plan to, but it sucks to imagine what she thinks of me now...how do I get over this...any advice?