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  • 1 Post By I.M.Mortal

Thread: Girl of my dreams is finally gone, new to city. What to do?

  1. #1
    johnny_perez420 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Girl of my dreams is finally gone, new to city. What to do?

    For the last year, I've been dating the girl of my dreams. She's smart, sexy, successful, shares plenty of common interests, an overall 10/10. Met her in college and now she's working abroad for a year. Neither of us (mainly me) wanted to do a LDR so we separated for a year until she comes back. When we were dating, we were with each other around 5-6 days out of the week. Enough about her since she's gone.

    About me: I recently graduated from college and moved to a new town. In the past, all the girls I've met were from work/school. Now that I have a 9-6 M-F job, all of my coworkers (literally all) are older (mid 40's) and married, and don't go out with each other. I know no one in my town. Don't go to school. Rarely have time to do anything during the week other than work, eat, smoke pot (don't have to but choose to as I'm bored), and sleep. I feel like my life is a continuous cycle of disappointment since she left.

    I don't have friends in my town so I resort to driving 1 hour+ on weekends to meet up with older friends/family. I would love to get back into a relationship but don't know where to start. What would YOU do if you were me?

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl of my dreams is finally gone, new to city. What to do?

    This is what I would do. This is a good time to focus on your self-development (health, finance, social life).

    Right now you are caught up in a cycle of monotony and you need to break out of that. Socially, that place is a dead end.

    You can at least focus on your health. Hit the gym. Start pumping iron and focus on your diet. You can at least tend to your health and fitness rather than smoking pot and being depressed. Go online and do research on how to get started. At the end, you will feel better and more confident when you see changes in your body.

    Your long term goal is to eventually move out of that small town to a big city or where your girl is returning to. The sooner the better for you. Work, save up your money for that time. Start looking for other job opportunities elsewhere.

    The way I look at it, right now you are living like a monk. Except a monk cultivates his spirituality, body and mind. If you are going to live like that, at least focus on your self development and do something good for YOU! This is the perfect time to do it.

    And when you see your girl again, you will be more attractive in her eyes.

  3. #3
    Fire Eater is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl of my dreams is finally gone, new to city. What to do?

    "Only when we have reached our lowest point are we open to the greatest change."

    That is something I have observed in my personal experience.

    I kind of know where you are coming from, my life was almost exactly like yours a few years ago. At college, I was living a monotonous life for years. I went to class, did my HW and spent most of my free time holed up in my room on the internet never venturing out except to get a snack, and I left on the weekends to visit my family doing the same routine. Until one day, my dog died, (yeah he meant that much to me), and I realized my social life was dead after years of neglect, and my health was neglected as well. I hated myself for that.

    I decided to go on a path to self-improvement in all aspects (including learning to love myself again). I am now in better condition than I was before in my life: physically, health-wise and socially. I attend social events, go out a few nights a week and get to meet new people. I had some of the most fun of the past few years of my life doing that.

    Being inactive is one of my biggest regrets. Don't let it be yours.

    You know few people in town, probably because you don't get out of the house much. Instead of holing yourself up, and smoking pot, try doing something constructive. Set some long-term goals, ie where you want to be health-wise, socially, career, etc.

    I found exercising/going to the gym is one of the best ways to get active, and improve yourself. It requires discipline to go, and to do the exercises. You also improve your health and physique.

    Also, I think you can find some time to go out a few nights a week, at least the weekend nights. Find some social events to go to. If you want to meet a new girl, she is going to walk into your house into your lap, you are going to have to get out.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl of my dreams is finally gone, new to city. What to do?

    Quote Originally Posted by johnny_perez420 View Post
    I don't have friends in my town so I resort to driving 1 hour+ on weekends to meet up with older friends/family. I would love to get back into a relationship but don't know where to start. What would YOU do if you were me?
    Eventually you will meet new friends. New starts are difficult but they also make you grow. Getting out of your comfort zone is ultimately a good thing and not something a lot of people can do. 'Life is about change not chance'.

    If I were you I would not rely on driving back into your past but stay there on weekends and meet new people. You can re-invent yourself and spread your wings. Your old true friends will always be there and you will gain new opportunities aswell.


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